24 lacking life skills, anyone can relate?

[bambambam]

Hi guys,

so i am a 24 years old female, i have been spoiled because i am the only child, since 2010 i started to take care of everything on my own, moving out, find work, going to university, i do my best to learn to be an adult and want to be able to function like a normal educated 24 years old, my emotions are unstable due to the huge amount of pressure i give myself.

i know its my own fault that i havent really been developing my life skills, but at this point i am doing the best i can, however, i still feel like a 17 years old trying to function like a adult. i know i deserve all my mistakes, but What would you say to a person like me. How can anyone catch up in such short amount of time.

[OracleofDoom]

24 is still kind of young today. I didn't even start to get a strong sense of who i was and what i could do until i was close to 30.

[RitaTrue]

You...sound like me, honestly. I'm an only child. And I'm also in my 20's. And I also lack life skills. You're not alone

[blueidealist24]

What exactly do you mean by life skills?

[Miming]

I definitely can relate to this. I'm 23, I feel that my whole life I've been spoiled for the wrong reasons. Get distracted by issues and pressures I have with and get from my family, so i guess i'm emotionally unstable at times and people tend to think i'm weird because of it. Trying my best to learn and develop too and I want to move out so bad

 

I think it's the amount pressure that kind of has an opposite effect. It quickly stops me from thinking like mature adult when I get tons of it

[Batya33]

What about volunteering in a setting where you have to help other adults or teenagers with life skills. I learn a lot by teaching others.

[mackspain]

1. Learn to cook. Vegetables are really easy to make; pasta, rice, lentils, and vegetables are cheap and nutritious. Most of the vegetables you can see in any store can be boiled and made ready in 8-10 minutes. Don't get into the habit of takeouts even if your friends like them. You will waste your money.

 

In order to cook, you need a pan, some water (or a kettle), and a cooker. Start off by making up your own meals. Pasta, carrots, broccoli and cabbage can be chopped up and made in 10-12 minutes. Peas, rice and chicken is a nice meal too. Or just peas and rice. If you are crazy about burgers, you can buy cheap sausage meat, squeeze the sausage meat out with your fingers and mold it into burger patties, and use some vegetable oil. Add some chopped onions if you like. Leeks, potatoes, and green beans can be chopped up and made with a chicken steak. Sauces taste nice with meals too, like passata or homemade white sauce. Avoid expensive cook books and complicated recipes. Cooks like to make out their recipes are hard to do and somehow complicated and mysterious, they are seriously not.

 

2. Learn to clean. Wash up every night, keep your 'area' hygienic, do your part of the chores. If you're not sure how to clean, experiment with cheap clothes and sponges. Never buy premium detergents, the cheapest work fine. Wash your clothes on a low temperature to prevent them from being damaged, bleach your toilet, brush your floor. Clean your teeth, wash your hair etc.

 

3. Learn to dress yourself. This sounds stupid but wearing Linkin Park hoodies which are twice your size doesn't really count. Learn what clothes suit you and wear things that are plain and comfortable, but not tacky.

 

4. Manage your money. Be totally honest about how much money you have and check your bank account daily. Don't run around telling people how much money you have or haven't. Keep your receipts and sit down with a calculator. Don't put it off or forget about it. Spend 5 minutes a day with a notepad working out your situation with money. After a while it'll burn into your head. Be really brave about this! Not everyone can do it !!

 

6. Get a job. I know this sounds stupid but a part time job is something. Restaurants, hotels, kitchens and cafes are used to newcomers. It gets you meeting people and developing life skills. Just talk to people and use your instincts.

 

7. Study a course. Whatever it is, paid for or free, try to make sure you are boosting your qualifications. Every certificate counts.

 

8. Throw out all unnecessary things. Do you REALLY need ten thousand pairs of shoes. Okay if not the shoes, there's probably something you can throw out or give to charity.

 

9. DON'T VOLUNTEER. I don't know why this advice is so popular but believe me it is a complete waste of time and very very draining. People say this absent-mindedly when someone is looking for specific advice, volunteering can expose you to people who are very sick and very weak. You'll also meet tons of people who are also very lost and depressed with their lives, and whose heads are also swimming with bad advice.

 

10. Drink at home. Going out with people is fun and everything, but it's a terrible strain on your budget. Except if it's a great party then it's okay.

 

One final piece of advice: watch out for bad friends. This is easy to do. If they spend the first 10 minutes telling you about their parent problems, life problems, drinking problems, drug problems, mental breakdown problems etc. within meeting you then maybe keep your distance. Keep a lock on your door if you don't trust people.

[Ehhhhbored]

Sounds like good advice, mack. it helps much more than just the OP.

 

in relation to OP, i can say i struggle with same issues, i am 22, failed moving out of home miserably and am not back here losing my mind haha. keep at it, i'm sure you'll grow into it. stay positive