Online dating going bad!

[lilsmc]

Hello Everyone!

 

Couple of months ago my friend suggested Online dating. This is mainly because I was meeting the wrong guys and was becoming frustrated with all these losers. I decided to give it a try and actually found a great guy who we shared many things in common. It has been about 5 months since we met and things have been going very well between us. We hang out couple times a week and each time we hang out, things to get better and better ( thats what he says to me and I have to agree with that)

 

The other day i decided to ask him if he was still talking to other people through this dating website and he said and these were his exact words " I was on it the other day because I decided to close it out.I like being with you and I dont have time for anyone else." I was very happy to hear that because my feelings are mutual.

 

However- I had to confirm this statement for myself so i decided to log on using my friends online dating account and searched for his name. If you are no longer an account holder, it will tell you that this person no longer exists. When his name was searched it said he was logged on last NIGHT!!!!!

 

I am so mad and feeling confused. Clearly he lied to me and Clearly he is still looking around which means he isnt happy or satisfied with what we have going on here.

 

What should I do? I want to confront him about it and if I do I would have to tell him that I searched him on the online site. Can anyone please give me some advice as I dont want to have to continue dealing with his B.S anymore! I would appreciate this.

 

THanks

[solidbunker]

Dont be so emotional and think!!

From the other account,your friend's,set a date with him and see if he shows up

Then you will get your clear and undoubtful answer.

How is that ?

[lilsmc]

hahaha yeah my friend suggested the same thing! And it isnt such a bad idea.

Thanks

[solidbunker]

I feel bad I betrayed my own kind..

Just dont give away my name,please.

[Thorshammer]

This IS online dating. People get greedy, they chase numbers, or they keep their options open because they think online dating is just that easy... online dating for some... is far more easier alternative than approaching people in person. The rules are different, women throw themselves at men in the privacy of their own home and computer. Thats just how it goes. I hate it, hence why i never take it serious.

 

If i dont have "serious" talks with the woman, i will be going back to the site, i would expect them to be doing the same exact thing.

[trixi]

If i dont have "serious" talks with the woman, i will be going back to the site, i would expect them to be doing the same exact thing.

 

Sounds reasonable...however he answered a straight question with a straight forward reply - that he closed it out! So............at least be smart enough and change your profile name if you are going to keep your options open, don't you think? This guy is just NOT very smart!

[Lucy3]

5 months is a long time, he out right lied to you that he closed his account when he hadnt and he has been on there recently. What would he be on there for other than to chat to women? Ask him again if hes deleted his account, if he says yes then say that your friend who is on the same site came accross his profile the other day. I wouldnt trust him, and it sounds like he is not as into you as you are to him.

[blueidealist24]

5 months is a long time, he out right lied to you that he closed his account when he hadnt and he has been on there recently. What would he be on there for other than to chat to women? Ask him again if hes deleted his account, if he says yes then say that your friend who is on the same site came accross his profile the other day. I wouldnt trust him, and it sounds like he is not as into you as you are to him.

 

Exactly, ITA with this. If he wanted to keep the account open he could have at least told the truth, even though after 5 months you'd think that would be at least time to start thinking about committing to one person.

[pl3asehelp]

Well, he lied to you. You don't need to confront him to confirm that and I think that would be a waste of your time. I'm assuming you don't want to continue dating a guy who lies to you this early on in particular, so I'd just tell him you're not feeling it and move on.

[Nherz]

You guys aren't an item, so don't be mad if he's still got his site open. Most people date multiple people before settling into a relationship. And who knows, maybe someone messaged him last night and he just checked it. And if he wasn't interested then he didn't write back. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

 

Also, if every guy you've dated is a loser, it might not be the guys who are the losers.

[Thorshammer]

Sounds reasonable...however he answered a straight question with a straight forward reply - that he closed it out! So............at least be smart enough and change your profile name if you are going to keep your options open, don't you think? This guy is just NOT very smart!

 

I am not defending that hes a liar, hence why i said people can be greedy before the post you quoted.

 

Back to the original post:

You know, i once overheard my ex-gfs friend asking her the following (before she became my girlfriend), "so, do you want me to give that guy from last night your number..." and she said "yes". I let it sit there for a day, asked my friend (I dont remember what she said). I was deciding between letting it go (i can never do this, i am too active to sit on my butt), bringing it up, or playing the field with others and dropping her status in my life. I went with confrontation. She just sat there with a dumb look on her face, i was a good judge of character though, i knew she was the type to show off in front of friends, i believed she said yes to brag. And i was right, because getting to know her over the years proved this, and i dont believe she ever cheated on me.

 

I had an ex tell me all sorts of BS, and i found out she was talking to an ex. I dropped her status and dated others, i ended up leaving her for the other, and she chased me to return. This one was insecure, she needed back ups for self-worth and protection.

 

Actually, i have tons of stories. They didnt turn out to be good relationships, and the first sign of deception should have had me walking out the door.

[scklbad]

IM in Jersey too and have had bad luck with online dating lol. I have been on three dates fro there with three different girls and nvr got a second date..i gave up on it a while back.

you are not alone!

[pl3asehelp]

You guys aren't an item, so don't be mad if he's still got his site open.

 

They had a discussion about dating others and he told her he was taking his profile down, so he lied, which is enough to be mad/concerned.

[pinkelephant]

no need to confront him. he lied. end of story.

[tinsel]

A guy I was seeing lied about deleting his account too. I've realized online dating is just not for me. The guy I want to be with would most likely think the same way, so in turn will not be online. No need to search there.

[Ms Darcy]

Since you know that he lied to you I think you should cut him off and move on.

[Rabican]

I would ask him once more, just casually if he still uses the site. Lets say... just playing devils advocate that he logged on to close his account... got distracted, phone rang, etc. and didnt actually close the account for some reason. It could happen. I logged onto paypal today to pay for something... I PROMISED someone I would do it for them. I got distracted, had to run to the store, came home... kids were crying, running late for work etc.... never did the paypal thing. Does that make me an awful, evil liar? not really. I meant to do it... I didnt mean to lie about it it just happened.

That sort of thing wont keep on happening though. Ask him again, casually... or ask a friend to ask him out etc. in other words verify the situation before you go crazy about it.