This guy seems SOOOO uncommunicative...should I still keep giving him a chance??

[sandrawg]

So, I met a guy on an online dating site who, as it turns out, knew all of my friends. They all love him and think he's great (which is quite a change from my last ex..they didn't like him at all.)

 

I've been dating him a month or so now...we've slept together a couple of times...he's a nice guy, but there's not this crazy chemistry like i'm used to with my previous relatonships. I'm trying to do different things since my last 2 relationships were bad. If i don't have crazy chemistry, I'll still keep trying if the guy seems stable, mentally healthy, etc. (all the things my exes were NOT.)

 

Lately I've not been sure where I stand with him, though, because he hardly ever contacts me. We don't chat on IM, hardly ever. He texts me once in a blue moon, and rarely replies back to my texts. He never calls. It's starting to get annoying.

 

Last week, I finally laid it on the line and asked, "are you not into me, or are you just really busy?" He said he's just really busy. He's transitioning to a new job, which has taken a lot of time. He said "I might possibly be able to get together this weekend."

 

I text him Friday..no response. Send a 2nd text..no response. Now, I'm pissed. I'm about to just write him off entirely, but he calls me Saturday, saying he had to go to court in a nearby town to deal with an old DUI (he's not drinking now, btw...this is old stuff that he's in recovery from.)

 

He said he wasn't sure then, if he might have to spend a couple nights in jail, but thankfully, he didn't.

 

He tells me, THIS week, things will start to slow down for him, and he'll have more time to spend with me. That was Saturday. We agree to touch base early in the week and see if we can coordinate schedules.

 

Well, it's almost Tuesday and I haven't heard from him. I IM'd him on FB with a silly joke, and he didn't reply, even tho I could see he was green (and even tho he'd told me last week that IM is the best way to contact him).

 

I am honestly starting to book up this week..I've got an art gallery opening for a friend on Thursday, and a lot going on this weekend..I'm not going to hold my schedule open for this guy.

 

I mean..do you guys think he was just feeding me a line? He's not really into me, or what? Should I even keep bothering?

 

Another thing is..I am used to guys being very attentive when they're interested in me. My ex IM'd with me, texted, called..all the time.

[Martinwilliams]

Who knows what he's thinking but one thing i know is that me and my ex used to IM eachother and text all the time and maybe thats why we didnt work out because we depended on each other to much and didnt do our own things. And MAYBE thats why you didnt work with your ex's to much contact and we get to much anxiety when we dont, you seem to be that way right now hahah ( not trying to laugh im the same.) but just keep doing yourself and i would lay off till he messages you and if he doesnt for like 2 weeks. then try again but dont keep pushing

[annie24]

He doesn't sound too interested, sorry. You said you don't feel much chemistry for him either though...

[sandrawg]

That's exactly what i'm thinking. Plus, how on earth am I supposed to get to know this guy???

 

He doesn't sound too interested, sorry. You said you don't feel much chemistry for him either though...

[laura40]

He just doesn't seem that interested. He can't be that busy that he can't even send a text message which takes 30 seconds to type?

[Lucy3]

Even if he is interested (but it sounds to me like he's not really that bothered) then can you really carry on as you are? Some people just don't see the importance in regular contact with the person they are seeing and some people do see the importance. You are obviously not compatible if he thinks its ok to ignore many of your texts and not be at the same level you are at with contact/meeting up etc. If this is at the beginning of your relationship then it will only get worse. He should be wooing you now and snapping you up.

 

I'd just nip it in the bud now and get back on the dating site and find someone who you do feel the chemistry with and who will show you the level of interest that you want/deserve.

 

Also you will find that chemistry with someone who is mentally stable, keep dating and don't just settle with anyone!