Please read and Advice. Any response would be great.

[sweetheart91]

I really don’t know how to describe how I feel but my husband and I are a very young couple. We married at age 20 so we’re still in the stages of putting our lives together. We BOTH work and go to school and are doing pretty well for college students.

In the beginning we used to go out all the time and do so many fun things. Horseback riding, swimming, clubs, restaurants. Our relationship was fun but now it has been dying down a bit. I understand now that we have more responsibilities and have to put things in order for our future, but I guess sometimes I get a little overwhelmed. My husband is the type that doesn’t sit still. He always has to work or get something done or try and put things together and sometimes I just feel a little neglected. Most times he is stressed about school, work, his family(they are not really in the best situation. His parents are constantly getting sick.) He has the drive to always want to put everybody right and do all he can and I admire that SO MUCH! But most times I feel like all these things consume him and it takes a toll on how he acts and his overall attitude. I’m more of a laid back person and sometimes I just like to RELAX. I hate being in constant motion. Sometimes I just like to STOP and look around at the world I’m in. I know things need to get done but I miss my HUSBAND!

I always expected to get married around 23 or 24 and have kids by 25 and live in my dream house, and have a nice career. My husband and I haven’t been married long but I am filled with the desires of having his children and living in our dream home, but now that won’t be for years or at least until we’re both done with school. Anytime I bring up children he gets so upset and says now is not the time which I know its not but I just can’t seem to help my desires. I kind of feel like having his kids will bring us closer and make it harder for him to leave me. We’re still young and in those stages where most college kids our age are exploring and dating different people and I just feel that within the next few years he will get tired of me.

We occasionally go out to the movies and other things, but most times I may be in the mood to just cuddle and lay under him but he would want to get other things done. Sometimes I just feel like he doesn’t want to take a second to just chill with me. Because things are always popping up and there is so much he has to do I feel like life will just be passing us by and sooner or later we won’t have time for each other. I’m in that stage where I just want to ENJOY him. I hardly see him even laugh any more, he’s always so stressed out and most times I don’t know what to do to ease that stress and make his situation a bit lighter. Sometimes I just go to the bathroom and cry because I feel like I can’t help to make things better.

I feel like one day we will look up and won’t be able to account for anything. I feel like life would have just passed us by because we were always TOO BUSY.

Also in all my other relationships I never had anyone take me out to different places and show me different and new things like how he’s done. I ENJOY my husband and miss those spontaneous moments we always used to have and feel it won’t be the same again. Please advice.

[OptomisticGirl]

The most concenering thing in that post is 'make it harder for him to leave me'. Please do not have children with someone for THAT reason, that's a horrible reason to bring a child into this world simply so you can forever have an anchor to someone.

 

Every relationship goes through what you are going through - your no longer in the honeymoon phase and things aren't as random as they use to be because, well, life sucks and gets in the way.

[sweetheart91]

I didn't mean it how it sounds. I mean I definitely want to have his kids because I love him and I believe we would be GREAT parents to our kids. Although its not a great reason it's not the sole reason why I want to have his kids. It's just that when I got married i expected that within the next year or so we would start trying to have kids. I want it so bad and I absolutely LOVE kids, but it seems like it's just so far away. I completely understand we need to be completely stable and we can't have fun all the time but i just fear time will just pass us by you know? I just miss him and worry that he's doing too much and in the midst sometimes feel neglected. Just needed to vent because I was really sad about it. Thanks to everyone in advance for you advice!