tabbyloves Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Okay so, before we start, i would appreciate no hate, I already get enough of that at school. I joined this website, polyvore july last year i think, and gained many friends and lost some too. 2011 was possibly the hardest year of my life, but i have a feeling 2012 is going to be worse. Many people were killed, and that had a big impact on me. But instead of telling you my recount of 2011, i'll get to the point Novemeber/December 2011 i met this girl online who lives in America half way round the world from Australia (where i live). She hasn't had the best relationship with her parents as they physically abused her. So then, we started talking more and i started to fall pretty hard for her, as i am also a female. 29/12/2011 was the day i nervously asked her out and she said yes. But, also on that same day she found out she was pregnant due to her best-friends dad raping her. A few days after that i found out she'd been partying and got in a fight and lost the baby aswell as got some broken bones. Our relationship started off good. But January sometime she got raped again, by her best-friends dad yet again. She is now 3 months pregnant and I am so unexpierenced with this whole thing, and keep in mind she's a year younger than me. She turned 15 this year and I'm turning 16 this year. I don't know how to handle her hormones or mood swings We keep fighting and have random B*tch fests, but i know we dont mean it. Could anyone give me some advice on how to deal with a pregnant girl aswell as keeping in contact with her when she's half way around the world from me? It would be much appreciated. thanks. ~Tabitha. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I am very concerned that she is pregnant a second time by her friends father who raped her ...and she is age 15 none of this is either right or normal and I am very suspicions ..infact I don;t believe it Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I'm in a LDR as well do I know the stigmatise to it but yes, I agree with shooting star. While not unbelievable, it's a hard truth pill to swallow. When/if do you guys plan on ending te distance? Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I feel I need to explain my response more. I have nothing against ldr ( mine was one but the same country) I am trying to get a positive perspective for you tabby , but I can't. you both 15 years old living half way around the world from each other and you "ask her out" , you can't ask someone out who lives in America ..its not real darling ..its an illusion and you need to concentrate on having a life in oz ..with people in oz ..yeah sure support her and be her friend but nothing more. so at 14 she gets raped by her friends dad , then gets in a fight so bad she loses the baby and gets broken bones ( plural) , and the authorities , the hospital just let this all go ?? American laws are different from the uk , but even in the uk 14 is under aged sex . So I fail to see how a 14 year old rape victim , losing a child with multiple broken bones is left without a word of concern. thats my first concern next she just happens to get raped a second time by the same man and what ? she is just keeping the baby , no one has asked about this !! its the beginning of march , so from the 29th December this girl has been raped twice , lost a baby , is 3 months pregnant and all this with broken bones !! darling ... can you see what I am trying to say here ? be her cyber friend and support her , but she isn;t your girlfriend , you need to try and have a "real life" relationship .. and not get dragged into this ..well this story . sorry I know this is not very supportive xx I hope one of the other posters can give you a bit more then me . Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 While I dont think the story holds much truth, even though a rape happens doesn't mean the authorities know. Especially I it's someone yoj know. While 14 is underage here if she didn't report it (very likely) the authorities wouldn't know. And all a teenager has to do for pregnancy is rock up to a planne parenthood clinic. So even if the hospital knew she was losing the baby, she could have claimed it was conceived in consensual sex. I mean, her story does happen but for some reason I just find it hard to believe in this situation given what details we know. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I agree og that unless she told the necessary people she was raped then there is no way for them to know , but even given that someone can hide the truth , not go to the police , not tell the hospital and yes..horrible horrible things happen in life and gets over looked and left alone ...but even considering all this , I sit with your last statement og. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I feel really mean tabby ..I don't mean to sound harsh darling ...your obviously a very kind caring person trying to help someone.. just be careful ok. Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 God, i ask for no hate, but instead i get people telling me that it's not real. thanks a bunch....certinaly won't be coming on here again for help. This is bullsh*t! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 No one is giving you hate TabbyLoves. You asked for advice, we gave it. With the details you gave I just don't believe her story. If YOU do then please answer my question - when could you end in the distance? Long LDRs do not survive. Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 yeah says you. You know what, just stop replying altogether. I don't need the stress atm, i already got enough to deal with. God, I'm so over getting help. I either get hate, or people telling me it's not real, or people who just ignore the situation altogether. Getting help is so overrated. Great, now i feel like cutting again.... >_ Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Yes, says me who is has been in a LDR for 2 years now and is going through her first year of marriage in a LDR. I've seen MANY LDRS come and go on this board and the resounding thing is long term ones do not survive. If you do not have an end date (nor even met in person) it will cause stress. Look, you obviously believe her, so lets go from there. Have you both talked about who will move were? Have you looked into what you must do in order to move here or she move there to be in your country? Is she keeping this baby? Will that baby be coming with her/are you willing to help her raise said baby? Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 yes, yes, yes, and yes. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 So then go from there. How long until you can end the LDR and be together? Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Idk. when either of us have the money for starters. I still need to conquer my shyness and anti-social business in order to get a job. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Yes, the moving process is not cheap. My husband and I are currently in the process of moving me to his country (England). Not cheap. At all. May I ask who is moving were? Those are very important to have a job, but I believe you can. I mean, I'm a shy person by nature and honestly having a job helps that. Kind of forces you to interact with people, especially if you have one in customer service. Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 well okay, I'll admitt we don't exactly know who's moving. But i was thinking i would. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I would def ask. I have seen a few LDR couples who thought the other would move and 3 years in no one would. If your willing to move that's not really a problem but def still have that talk. Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 yeah once we work through our other problems. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 tabby I think you misread my posts as hatred , I don't hate you , I don't know you . I answered you as I read your story and jumping into this bad place of thinking it is all hate and threatening to cut because of it is a really bad place to keep putting yourself in. You need to keep calm and rational to gain your own positive outlook on this situation. I am 30 years older than you so I see life very differently , and see things that at 15 you can;t see , but never would I try and hurt anyone with my words, so don't feel so defensive . Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 5, 2012 Author Share Posted March 5, 2012 I never saw it as hatred. kay? Link to comment
tabbyloves Posted March 5, 2012 Author Share Posted March 5, 2012 Btw, I am a cutter, so don't get me wrong, I will cut. Have done for 3 and a half years. Link to comment
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