I'm just so confused...

[Dgirllamius]

I'm so confused, I don't even know where to begin.

 

About a year or so ago, I met this lad while on a night out. We got together. However, we were only together for 2 weeks. Our break up wasn't on bad terms and there was no hatred towards each other.

 

1 year on to this day, I still think of him. I'm still in love with him.

 

Thing is, I can't remember much about him. Well, I'm lying when I say that because I remember everything, but I can't remember what he really looks like as it's been so long.

 

Anyway, I want to get in contact with him. My brothers girlfriend is arranging to get his mobile number for me, but I don't have a clue what to say. I'm so confused.

 

One part of me wants to get in contact while the other part doesn't. I've been hurt a lot in the past, and I don't want to be hurt again.

 

Anyone have any ideas? I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, so please don't tell me that as I already know.

[Ash]

You likely remember the feelings you had more than the person himself, and that's why the details are fuzzy.

 

That's perfectly okay, for whatever reason, he evoked those feelings, and you have somehow kept them alive through the entire year. Emotions are like that, they have a way of overriding a lot of our conscious though processes. Don't feel at all badly you don't remember everything.

 

Love can and does happen like that. Very quickly, there can be a connection.

 

When (or if) you get his number and call, start out like you're only just meeting, and that perhaps he remembers who you are. Certainly don't expect it to all come back to him in a flash, and express that he has missed you and wants to see you right away. Just let the first call be a "Hello, how are you these days, how's life" type of thing. Don't get into discussions of the past, don't expect him to remember much at all. Keep it short and sweet. If there's any interest from him to you, it'll start to percolate inside him.

 

An important thing to remember is that men process emotions far more slowly than women. In other words, if lost feelings start to submerge inside him, something that you'd react to in minutes might take him hours. He may get of the phone, and not really realize until an hour or two later that you used to mean something to him a year ago.

 

So, take it slow. Don't expect to pick up where you left off. Call, keep it short, then wait a few days. Give him another call and see if his tone is accepting.

 

Also, please brace yourself for the possibility that he might be with another. If you think you won't be able to handle that thought, then please do yourself a huge favour and don't make that call. You'll only hurt yourself badly. You MUST be prepared to accept the worst. If you're not, please don't call.

 

I hope I've helped.

Take care.

[Magic_star829]

Hi,

I totally know what you mean as I'm going through the same thing. It hasn't been a year and I do remember what he looks like, but the feelings are the same. I recently got back in touch with him and we are just friends now which kills me but it's better than nothing. I need to find out if he is single or with someone so that's the next thing I am going to find out. I know that I can handle it if he is seeing someone, it will hurt but it's just something I need to know. In my situation distance is preventing anything from happening ( ie: getting back together) so I need to totally get over him by killing the last glimpse of hope, which I hope will be when he tells me he's happy and with a great girl. In your situation it might do the opposite for you and break your heart all over again, so be cautious with whatever you do. If he is with someone though, the possibility of getting back together isn't totally gone, and being friends is probably still an option, and then who knows you can go from there. Good luck!

[Dgirllamius]

Well, it might sound odd, but I have to close my eyes and keep them closed until I can picture him in my head. It's quite a fizzy image, but if I think carefully enough, I can remember.

 

I don't know his situation or anything. He came all the way from London to where I live so he doesn't know anyone. Well, he might do now after a year, but how he has met people, not sure because he doesn't go to college. He only works. My brothers girlfriend reckons there is a chance he is still single. I don't know...

 

When I do get his number, I don't know what I am going to say. I am a shy person as it is, and I always think the worst in things. I know I should think positive, but I don't know, I just can't.

 

It would be nice to be friends with him at the very least, but it'd hurt at the same time. I know that because I would like to be WITH him, not with him if you know what I mean.

 

Anyway, as soon as I know whats going on, I'll post it here...