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Just got an email from ex. We were involved in court preceeding that he didn't show up for, even though he was supposed to. But lucky for him the judge dismissed him.


We also were going to get married at some point and applied for a marriage license which never expires....so you just go get it signed whenever you get ready....so I just shredded it. There is nothing really to do...You cannot undo it....you just don't do it....if that makes sense.


His two questions were:



What did you do about the Marriage License?

Did everything finalize ok at court?



Do I ignore as I have told him NC is best.....or do I just courteously answer.


I mean court was Monday.....today is Wednesday.....and what does it matter about the marriage license to him anyways?

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Ignore him. If he couldn't bother to make it to court then he isn't entitled to an answer for how it went.


The marriage license, ignore as well. If he's so concerned about that let him be a Big Boy and do his own research to figure out what happens if neither of you sign it.

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I'm leaning towards Camus's answer.....Trust me, I don't think these are breadcrumbs for a relationship. I do think he feels guilty about things and wants to soothe his own soul and find out if I am still hurt and angry about things.....so I am figuring ignoring. Funny how about two weeks ago I would have jumped at the chance to email....now I don't feel so inclined.

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Ignore him. He couldn't be bothered to turn up but all he has to do is contact doormat and any lingering concern, about the proceedings and the licence, are gone - "hey look how easy that was"!


Answering him says youre still a doormat.

Ignoring him says I'm tired of your crap!

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I agree, toby. I just have read where sometimes responding matter-of-factly is okay and wasn't sure about this situation. But yeah, he cannot show up to court and take care of his business and leave me "holding the bag" so to speak, he doesn't deserve a response from me. He can call the lawyer and find out from her if he has to. Even at this point, in the back of my mind I think....what if, what if, what if.....and I really don't want to get going down that road anymore. Contacting him back would only put me in a worse position.....It isn't anything life-threatening for him so I will just leave him be.

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With NC you can't fall for attempts to other person to hit you up with conversation by asking you questions that really need no reply. He cares more about how it made you feel taking care of those things than the actual status of those things.


Keep up with NC. You might find there are going to be follow ups very shortly.

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well we are almost 5 weeks out from BU but not sure about NC. We had to meet at the lawyer's office last Thursday and he was there. But I have not emailed, called, or texted him in 2 weeks. I am wondering if he isn't feeling a bit lonely now....things aren't going as he had planned.....I sit here and try to figure out his motives but it's really a waste of time and I know that. Just always makes you feel like why? I am not contacting you....leave me alone.....now that court is done especially, I will never have to see him again.

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Surprise surprise!!!! Second email of the day....to a different email address I use. This time telling me that he has a battery charger of mine. He knows I have two. Wants to know how to return to me or drop off at my parents. In this email to the other email address, he does not even mention the first email to my primary email. Wonder why he chose to send it to the second address. This is all so discombobulating.

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Yet another email came through yesterday....again to my primary address. He had put in the subject line "please respond to question about marriage license." There was nothing else in there about court or the battery charger.....I just responded "shredded it." He responded ok.


What does it matter whether I shredded it or framed it and hung it on my wall? What does it matter to him? Like I said, it doesn't mean anything unless and until it is signed....and I have told him that before. It seemed to me his questioning was not about the legalities of it but what did I actually do with the piece of paper....Then I thought maybe he has a new girlfriend or perhaps a fiance....and he would be scared I would show her....???? Who knows.....

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