Perhaps im looking into things too much? What is he thinking?

[tygerwolf]

When does it seem that a guy is hinting at marriage in your opinion? My boyfriend of 28 and I (21) have both admitted that we are both pretty realistic and like to take each day at a time. We have been together for about 5 months now and what a wonderful 5 months its been!

 

Sometimes though, I feel like my boyfriend is dropping subtle hints or is trying to gauge my reaction to various marriage type questions. Some are quite forward while others are distant and discouraging? Is he trying to guage our future compatibly possibly or do I need to stop wondering so much and just take each day at a time?... Heres some examples of some of the things he says or asks sometimes to me specifically...

 

- "I really want my kids to be in a private school. Public schools are just so dummed down... Dont you think?"

 

- "My future wife can do all of these things (names stuff). I wouldnt mind her staying home or me being a stay at home dad."

 

- "I dont want my kids to be in daycare."

 

- "Wow your mom is paying for us to go to Disney World? I feel like were getting married or something!"

 

- "I need to be having kids soon babe... Im getting old."

 

- "If we were to get married..."

 

- "So lets just say we're married...(uses us as an example for a marriage situation....)"

 

- "I want us to get our families together for dinner sometime. I dont think my mom and your mom will click too much though (jokingly laughs)."

 

- "When I get married..."

 

- "My wife will not be allowed to own a pug. They are so ugly!"

 

Yadda yadda. It goes all over the place. Sometimes he includes me, other times he doesnt. Perhaps he fancies the idea or just wants to gauge my reaction? I dont know. But he says stuff like this fairly often. If it helps at all he is very involved in my family. He likes to spend time with my family and enjoys his family with me as well. In fact he calls up my little brother fairly often to ask him to hang out with us or texts my mom and makes an effort with my closest friends. Takes me to visit family and want to introduce me to his far away grandparents. My friends and family love him and think we are great together.

 

Its a little early in our relationship. But how would you be thinking if your significant other said things like this fairly often? Im curious...

[heaven123]

Just relax and talk about it in the context of the question

[talo]

Do you then have a conversation about what he has just said?

[Stay_home]

Scary.

 

You've only been together five months, that's not really a lot of time to start discussing marriage and children. He seems rather compelled to do the marriage and children thing which isn't a bad thing, but the timing is way off. Not only is it way off, but his approach to it is creepy. Why is he in such a rush to marry you right away?

[tygerwolf]

In a rush? He hasnt asked me to marry him at all. If anything our conversations have been theoretical if anything. We have both agreed that moving in together or anything (in general) is unrealistic at this point of either of our lives. (we both have about 2 years of college left.) Even if he did want to marry me, we would both have to wait. Its just curious to me that he talks like this sometimes.

[tygerwolf]

Do you then have a conversation about what he has just said?

We do. I usually tell him my point of view. Whether I agree or disagree, ect and then we talk about it.

[Batya33]

Could be or could not. I had a boyfriend for 5 months -I was in my mid 30s and he was 40 - he started talking that way within the first month and introduced me to friends, family, etc. After 5 months we broke up because he wasn't in love with me and didn't see a future. My husband and I got back together (after dating in the past) and in deciding to get back together we talked pretty specifically about the purpose of getting back together -to see if we should marry and start a family. It wasn't too soon at all -it was essential because we were going to be long distance and we were in our late 30s. I've had men ask me on the first or second date what kind of engagement ring I would like, and all over the map. Given your age I would just go with the flow and take these comments in a lighthearted way until you've been dating the better part of a year unless you figure out that you definitely would not want to marry him -then it's best not to lead him on.