The feeling of being alone when my partner is on vacation

[Dan78]

To anyone who can help me,

 

I am 24 years old and I am currently in a relationship with a girl I care dearly and have been with for 5 years today.

 

This girl is very special to me because of her understanding and willingness to make our relationship work. We talk every day, atleast 4 times a day, and of course we see each other occasionally. So we feel very much in love with other.

 

Sadly, just this week she has gone to Cuba for vacation, and I have stayed behind for other reasons. I feel alone, jealous and worried that something is going to happen to her. For instance, perhaps a guy will talk to her, and maybe try to pick her up. I understand she will not provoke that because she tells me that I can trust her. However, I cannot trust the guys on the beach. I am paranoid as it is when she wares a bikini, and when she at a beach with guys around, but how do I deal with this emotion of mine. She tells me if guys talk to her she will talk back because she doesn't want to be rude. But I hate that because guys will do anything to start up a pick up line. But she doesn't see my views the same way. So how do I deal with that?

 

The though of her having a good time in Cuba is also bothering me because I am wondering what she is waring and who is keeping her company. How do I cope with this for a week while she is gone?

 

She also stated that she wants to talk to guys in a casual purpose for the sake of trust in our relationship. But I disagree. What do you think?

 

Thanks for reading and consideration.

[Madly In Love]

Okay,

I just went on a Spring Break trip two weeks ago. My boyfriend/future husband (not yet engaged, haha) is a baseball coach for a college in New Orleans and had games/practice and couldn't come. I did not want to pass up the chance to get away, because I live in Baton Rouge and there is a serial killer on the loose and I don't ever sleep and have panic attacks and all that. So I REALLY needed to get away.

We went and stayed at my friend's house that her parents own in Santa Rosa. There were 4 girls (including me) and 4 guys. All friends of mine. No exes or anything like that.

But I can honestly say that even though we were on a beautiful beach and there was alcohol and bonding and stories told of intimate details with the understanding that "everything said stays in Florida," I missed Ryan so much it hurt. I talked to him every night. One night everyone was playing drinking games but I wanted to just go sit on the balcony and breathe and think for a while. I cried because I was in such a wonderfully beautiful place, but there was one thing missing. Ryan.

When I got home, it was the most incredible thing to see his face again. We both hugged for like 10 min straight. And, what came next, well that was incredible in it's own way. You get my drift.

Of course I flirted, every woman does, and those guys saw me in my bathing suit and all that (which Ryan wasn't happy about), but they weren't him. So don't worry. Just be happy and thank God that you have her. Plan a big romantic evening when she gets back and show her how much you missed her. Trust me, she'll love knowing that you care about her and that you were miserable without her. You need to have trust. It's one of the important ones, behind communication. But a little time apart is the best remedy for those routines that you get stuck in sometimes. So good luck and cheer up. She'll be home soon!

[netman]

Dan78, I could relate to your post because I too would feel exactly the same way and have the same exact thoughts in my head if my girl were to go on vacation without me.

 

Madly In Love's post really helped my thinking, because it was a real female in a similar situation who actually did have fun without being unfaithful, while sincerely thinking about her man the whole time. This proves that a woman CAN have fun without cheating or being disrespectful to you just because you're not around.

 

While your girl is on vacation, you should try to imagine her being the same way. Whatever you do, do not initiate any arguments because of these thoughts in your head, because this is your problem not hers. I know it's hard, but try to keep it to yourself. You have to trust her. If you think that she could not be trusted than you shouldn't be with her. I wish I had a better answer for you. Let me know what IS working for you to get through this situation. Like I said, I too have these kinds of thoughts in my head. Good luck.