ironman73 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Well, I really messed up today. I spent a long time on this forum trying to post and be cool during our NC. On Thanksgiving I did see him. It was really nice. We chatted and told each other that we missed each other. He gave me his sweater because I was cold. I tried to give it back when I left, but he insisted that I keep it so I can give it back to him in person. He told me that he had 'no desire or need' to date right now and he was still figuring out his stuff. So we decided to see each other on Sunday night (today) so I can give him back his sweater. On Saturday, I was doing errands in the area and I just got nervous and so I decided to drop his sweater at his house (on the porch). He texted me that he was home and he invited me in. But he had been drinking a lot. We got to chatting and he told me that he went out with another girl twice in the last 2 days (after Tgiving). I was really upset. Because I felt that the entire reason we stopped dating was nothing personal, but because of HIM. He told me that she is not as interesting nor as fun as me, but at least she doesn't have 3 kids. I felt that was the stupidest criteria ever. He wasn't sure if he was going to see her again, but he said that he needed to check out what else is there, to see if what we had was really special. We decided to meet up again in the morning after my shift to talk. I went to work, feeling miserable. I went over to his house in the morning (as planned). I played my stupid 200 questions (which really irks him) about our relationship. He said that he wasn't going to tell me about the other woman because it just wasn't relevant. She is not as special as me. I was just really upset that he saw another woman. It had only been 3 weeks since we went into NC. And I felt deceived because I thought he was supposed to be working on his own issues. I was also really upset that he was seeing someone who he thought was not as special, interesting or fun as me (exactly what he said)- why is he wasting his time? And I was really upset that she was not even in my league, in terms of school, accomplishments or education or profession. I felt that he was settling. I was so disappointed in him. He told me that I just don't understand what he is going through and that I should accept the fact that he has no answers for anything, that he is confused and I will never understand. I told him that it was unfair to date another woman when he said that he still had issues to work through. He said that these issues had nothing to do with her. The issue is that he is not ready to accept the fact that I have 3 kids. And that I don't understand what it is like to meet someone who is perfect for them, but has this major glaring issue (the three kids). In sum, I basically messed up everything I had accomplished during NC. He was starting to make baby steps back towards me, by giving me the sweater and wanting to see me. Now he doesn't want to talk to me for at least 2 weeks. Why couldn't I wait? Why am I so stupid? I am so sad. I told him that he needs to get perspective by dating other people and when he does, I said some hurtful things. I just wasn't ready to handle it. So I am really really sorry. I wrote: I feel like I ruined our chances for reconciliation I feel like I pushed you away in my hurt He wrote I need time. We will chat in a couple of weeks. I hate myself. Link to comment
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