loulou37 Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Hi guys.... Well it's another saturday night, i'm home thinking about him this last week has been absolute torture!! my emotions have been all over the place, sometimes i'm feeling positive then other times in soo much pain and wanting to just curl up into a ball and die.. All week i've had the worst urges to contact him and i know now it is only a matter of time before i do it, the more i try to fight against it, the stronger the urges.. I went out tonight with my kids for a meal, just so i'm not in the house thinking about him, it didn't help becos everywhere i looked there was couples together looking so happy arggg!! when i got home i just broke down and cried, i wanted to contact him sooo bad and tell him that i miss him but i fought it with every bit of energy that i had left! I had to come and get my thoughts out here....i don't tell any of my family how i'm feeling anymore, i know they are fed up with hearing about him. Hope you are all fairing up better than me. love loulou x Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 All week i've had the worst urges to contact him and i know now it is only a matter of time before i do it, the more i try to fight against it, the stronger the urges.. Hey loulou... You've done really well to stay strong and not contact him this week! Don't give in to the urges. You are better than that and you know it The ups and downs are torture,, One minute you think you're fine, the next, you feel right back down there again! Don't give in...... And just remember (something I have to think of often) Those couples that look so happy.... Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors! You doing good loulou.... I have faith in ya! Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 26, 2011 Author Share Posted November 26, 2011 thank you flyingpiglet x I am really trying not to give in, i've never had to got through anything as hard as NC, it's a killer!! how are you feeling tonight? loulou x Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Tonight is a good night for me, but I don't think I've been put through the mill nearly as much as most of you guys on here! eNA has been a massive help to me, one - for the advice, support and friendship of people from all over the world. And two - seeing how other people cope and hopefully helping one or two alone the way! I'm glad you posted here instead of contacting him.... It's tough, bit it is the only way! Link to comment
Melting Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 loulou..... Chin up sweet! Alot of us are going the the same feelings and know exactly where you are. Just have faith, in time things do get better and keep posting, it is what keeps the majority of us going. My world is a lonely place like yours, but I will not allow my sadness to take over my life. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 26, 2011 Author Share Posted November 26, 2011 Thanks guys.....the urge to contact has passed, yet again but they seem to last longer now....and tomorrow i get to face another day of the same, i know it and i know what's coming and it bloody scares me :s i know it won't be long before i cave. loulou x Link to comment
KYRiverGrl Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 I know what you mean about the emotional roller coasters. One minute I am fine and glad to be rid of him, the next minute I miss and want him so bad it hurts. Crazy. Hang in there! Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 i know it won't be long before i cave. loulou x Don't do it loulou. Initially it lasts longer... But ultimately, it won't...! You're doing so well, don't drop the ball now! Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 hey loulou, try to be strong, it's nice to post here, it prevented me many times from contacting my ex. I preferred to stay at home alone this Saturday night. I didn't feel going out again, and I just don't fit among happy people and couples... I was also afraid that I would be tempted again and to drive outside his house just to see if he's there... NC is so difficult! Link to comment
Awoken Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 This site is absolutely perfect for support and advice, it has helped me through my breakup too. Some days I'd be lost with out it. BUT, at the end of the day YOU have to start making positive changes in your life to help you heal. What ever issues/negative behaviours you had in your past relationship/s you need to identify them. Then you need to start fixing them asap. This will help create that postive change and start your healing process. I know how painful this situation is, I've been going through this for the past 6 weeks. It feels like 6 months! Still have tough days like everyone else. I just keep on reminding myself of the things I need to do to heal and move one. Tough situation for all of us. But you have to start working on you! Link to comment
northpickle Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 And just remember (something I have to think of often) Those couples that look so happy.... Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors! Exactly this! I went out last night, saw couples young and old, hand in hand and chatting away and I thought "Damn, that used to be my ex and me!". But, you know what? HE threw that away, he's lost my company and conversation now and it's HIS loss. That's how I think about it anyway. You are doing really really well, I'm right here with you Link to comment
winniethepooh Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Well it's another saturday night, i'm home thinking about him this last week has been absolute torture!! my emotions have been all over the place, sometimes i'm feeling positive then other times in soo much pain and wanting to just curl up into a ball and die.. Ah, them Saturday night blues eh i wanted to contact him sooo bad and tell him that i miss him but i fought it with every bit of energy that i had left! Keep fighting that urge. Don't go backwards. You WILL get there. Link to comment
unknownfuture Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I know the urge to contact is so strong. I struggle with this so much! Stay strong and keep busy Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 27, 2011 Author Share Posted November 27, 2011 well, today i've decided i'm going to contact him...i was up at the monastery and i thought loads about it, i have nothing to lose, also nothing to gain i been crying loads this past week, fighting the urges, i've decided i'm just going to give up...it's all so silly, he can be an ass as much as he likes, we're bloody adults not children. I'm not sure when i'm going to contact him or what i'm going to say, i just know i am going to do it... loulou x Link to comment
unknownfuture Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Lots of people on here who have been through BU's will tell you not to contact him. I caved a few weeks ago and sent her an email, we had a good chat about things but it hasn't changed anything, we're still split up. What do you want to get out of contacting him? Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 27, 2011 Author Share Posted November 27, 2011 I don't know what i want out of it, i still love him, i'd like us to work things out but that is not my decision, i miss him so bad, i just can't keep this up no longer, not contacting him...it's not even about getting anything out of it, sounds silly but it's the not contacting him, fighting against it is killing me, if it's over it's over. I just can't move on like this.... loulou x Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 loulou, Stay strong girl... You're better than this!!! The best thing I can say to you, if we really can't talk you out of it Write down what you want to say, on here, on paper, on your phone or computer, whatever, but and then give yourself at least 24 hours before you actually send it. In that time, think about how you'll feel if you receive no reply... none of your questions get answered, or worse still, he throws you a few bread crumbs. At the end of it all, you're still split up. All you achieve is making yourself feel worse Link to comment
unknownfuture Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I know how you feel, I love my ex so much and want a future together but your right it's not our decision and trying to force it won't help us. I understand this now. How many months are you post BU? I'm 4 months and I'm stuck between wanting her back and wanting the pain to end. You will likely feel better initially after contacting him and maybe hopeful, this is what happens to me, then after a few days it's back to feeling rubbish again. I'm trying to take control of it by leaving work, this will cut contact with her. Is there anything you can do to take control? Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 27, 2011 Author Share Posted November 27, 2011 i know he'll answer me, that's not gonna be a problem, i'm just not sure what to say yet.....so i'm sitting on it. loulou x Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 27, 2011 Author Share Posted November 27, 2011 we are nearly 3 months BU, 6 weeks NC, if i try and control it, i am fighting it and it's taking my energy...maybe i need to contact him so i can get a good knock back and teach me a lessson.... loulou x Link to comment
Springs Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Be careful loulou! I understand that you feel you have nothing to lose, but think of all the hard work you put into no contact over the last week and you would essentially have gone through all that for nothing, that's how I think of it. If you feel you can handle a negative response, and feel it will help you to hear it from him, then go ahead...just be careful k xx Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 we are nearly 3 months BU, 6 weeks NC, if i try and control it, i am fighting it and it's taking my energy...maybe i need to contact him so i can get a good knock back and teach me a lessson.... loulou x But have you got the energy to start all over again? Really? Thats what you're about to do to yourself..... Link to comment
unknownfuture Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Time heals all wounds. The future may hold promise unimagined today. Your sig says it all. 3 months is no time at all. Can you focus your energy into something else? Link to comment
northpickle Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Hey loulou, Just something that occurred to me - if you truly think you don't have anything to lose, would you really be agonising over the decision to contact him or not? I can completely understand your urges, we just don't want to see you hurting any more x Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Resist the urge loulou, you can do it! You are so much stronger than you know, he doesn't deserve you! Link to comment
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