Love hurts.

[Protex]

I am in so much pain right now. Allow me to explain my situation.

 

There was this girl at my school who I have been interested in for about 2 years. We became friends about a year into our knowing each other.

 

4 months ago, towards the end of school there was a field trip in which we grew extremely close to each other.

 

To make a long story short, we fell in love with each other, deeply.

 

Here's the problem, she has a BF of 3 years and a few months who is a friend of mine, not close but a friend none-the-less.

 

Through an immense amount of hurt and not being able to have each other because she said she couldn't leave her BF for me for a few main reasons.

 

1) She still loves him.

2) Both families love each other.

3) You don't go looking for someone who has what your BF doesn't.

4) 3 years.

 

Anyway, so we reluctantly came to the conclusion that we would not express our feelings to each other anymore.

 

That lasted about 2 weeks, then she told me that she missed me. And I had never stopped thinking about her either, so I told her what I was feeling.

 

After about 2 weeks of being like we were before, she started to distance herself from me. When I asked her why, she said "I don't belong to you and it's wrong for me to be doing this."

 

So the ignoring of feelings happened again.

 

A few weeks ago, the same thing happened. The feelings between us flooded out. It felt like things were even stronger than before.

 

Then the distancing again. We had a trip planned to this place, and it was nothing intimate whatsoever. So purely friends that it hurt.

 

Now school has started, and she is still emotionally distanced from me. We don't have intimate talks anymore, we don't talk about our feelings.

 

I think this has happened because her BF took her on a weekend trip over the province, and they got really a lot closer. So it looks like she just forgot about me and everything that happened between us.

 

I'm holding on to hope that I will have her someday, some friends tell me to give up. Others tell me to hold on.

 

The relationship between her and her BF is good I think, it seems that way, everyone agrees.

 

But I'm still here, just as a friend wondering where everything went, and she's acting so unphased by the whole thing. She's done this before, but her feelings poured out to be stronger each time, I don't know if this is one of those times but I hope it is.

 

Like I said, I really want to believe that there is a chance for me. But we are not like we were, and it hurts immensely to watch the one person you love, love someone else.

[twizod]

I can relate to you all too well. I put myself in this situation four or five times and it tore me apart in highschool. You care about her with such energy and force it could move oceans. Always close to your grasp but never in possession of the one thing you want relentlessly. You have two options, basically: One, you can try and be friends and keep it at that and suffer in silence with the hope it may change one day; or two) you can try and stop talking to her intimately make everything simple like hi or hello and that's it if you have to say something. This will help give you time to heal a little and take the bite out of the pain. Wish you the best of luck, man. I truly do sympathize.

[SuperDave71]

Is she having her cake and eat it too? Sounds that way to me.....

 

Put yourself in her shoes..she is having doubts about her man....period. She would never be with you otherwise. Womean are EMOTIONAL creatures...You were giving her something she wanted from her man, yet found it in you. She is with her man because of 3 years sounds like..and she is scared to leave. Families have NOTHING to do with it... That is a lame excuse and she is digging. I would leave her be.....let her come to you YET, I wouldn't be so easy to profess my love for her..Love needs to be earned...sounds to me you are the one getting hurt...not her!

 

 

-Be Strong!

 

 

SuperDave71

[under_the_pressure]

Protex,

 

I don't have any great advice...but I know it hurts to see the one you love, love someone else. My opinion is to hold on. That is all I have to say, just give it some more time. Be strong, and you know I'm here.

 

Under*

[theghost]

Protex, I know this is hurting you and what I'm going to say is gonna hurt you more. I think you should just not see her anymore, try to find someone else. By keeping these feelings they are gonna hurt you even more, there is a small chance that she will go with you, and if you keep loving her you are just gonna hurt yourself even more in the future.

 

Lets face the facts here, this isn't a movie, she loves her bf so much she rejected you.

 

Find someone else, there are plenty of woman out there. If for any reason you two get together in the future...great, but for now get over her, and maybey in the future you could fall in love with here again...and thats when you will know you truly are ment to be. For now just forget her, take her out of your mind.

[shy]

I feel Sorry for you love. I can relate to your pain we all go thru these situations it's part of growing up and learning life .

 

I know you are completely smitten by this girl but take this from the older crowd , she is just using you to make herself feel important.

 

Let me ask you a question Do you really want someone like her who has no respect for you? and does not care about your feelings at all? if she cared for you as a fellow human being she would have never kept coming back and play with your feelings like she has been doing ..Ignore her and find someone who cares for you …

 

As far as this girl goes she is not even worth your friendship because mate's are suppose to look out for each other and i dont see her do that ..Dont waste your time and move on ….love your self don't let some one walk all over you and treat you badly put your foot down say enough is enough ……Trust me after few years you are going look back at this saga and laugh . Its time for you to get your support network working

Go out with friends do stuff and keep yourself busy….Good luck mate …I know you will be okay!!!!

[lord_macnaughton]

These men are brilliant! She seems to be using you unintentially. This from my experience is what women do, though they of course never mean to. What these men have said is true, try making friends with another woman, try to break away all the emotional attachment. I know it hurts I'm in the exact same situation right now. Execpt that the girl I like is dating a drug addict, who she isn't to happy with, Why does she stay with him? Beats me.