Broke NC 21/11 met twice 23+24 Fantastic failure!

[The Mouse]

Hey guys just an update so you can do your analysing wondering if this would fit your situation.

 

Been 3 months since BU, mostly NC but on friendly terms. I was away for a month came back last week and thought id had enough of the NC and due to not feeling any better thought id contact my ex, see how the land lies and then deal with the consequences.

 

So on the 21st i sent an email, got a nice reply asking me to meet. I felt this looked positive but didnt read into anything. We met lastnight, all nice and friendly, it was actually nice to catchup just to see her. After leaving i did what we all go through thinking maybe i should of brought up the relationship but of course this isnt in the ena rule book so i left it at that. This morning it was really bugging me and thought id rather just come clean, get my result and accept it as closure.

I text my ex saying in a nutshell i hadnt expressed my feelings properly lastnight and would like to speak about the break up. She said ok im ok to do that ill come to yours tonight.

 

So basically we spent the last 3 hours, me listening but mostly explaining my actions, feelings, why i was like that etc. She does see change in me, the fact i opened up to her like that was the first time ever. 3 months on she's not dated anyone, cant be arsed with guys, really misses me, she was in tears when i said friends isnt a realistic expection for us to move on to but i got the she loves me but isnt in love me card.

 

So in a nutshell, weither i broke NC or not it wouldnt of made a diffrence in my op as she was never going to want to come back. I feel better for breaking it and putting my cards on the table. I feel this is more benefical to me to know where i stand instead of going round in circles with no contact so for me now i think i need to give up looking for answers on the getting back together page as ive nothing else to try!

 

Obviously gutted but i do have a feeling of closure knowing ive done my best and kept it dignified between us.....now wheres the vodka and sleeping tablets....jk!!

[jumper11]

After you do NC this time around, it was only after about the 2 month mark of NC that I began feeling okay. I'm not saying I am everybody, but it seems like a common thing that the first month that we do not heal much. Takes longer.

[Melting]

I think you handle the situation in the right manner, you wanted an answer and you got it... albeit not what you wanted, but your right, there is no wondering the "what ifs"

 

Continue on your road of healing, best of luck!

[EgoJoe]

Goodjob not getting used as a blanket. Goodjob not letting that eat away at you. Her answers were bull sheiza and you would do well to remember that. I would be that she will be trying to test your resolve in the future. The only time you ever respond to her from now on is when she asks about you and you only talk about you never asking about her and not initially. That being said, come here if/when she does contact you so we can help you through the first couple.

[The Mouse]

Goodjob not getting used as a blanket. Goodjob not letting that eat away at you. Her answers were bull sheiza and you would do well to remember that. I would be that she will be trying to test your resolve in the future. The only time you ever respond to her from now on is when she asks about you and you only talk about you never asking about her and not initially. That being said, come here if/when she does contact you so we can help you through the first couple.

 

From what she said which is what i believe, what i said lastnight and expressed was how she felt and tried to express towards the end of the relationship. She said it was just one day she wokeup n thought i need to walk away from this as she knew if i had been there id of probably talked her round and went round in another circle.

She said the breakups really hit her hard, shes changed what she wants in life, goes out far too often drinking (which she rarely ever done) and she isnt giving guys the time of day as she cant face it justnow, seems to be turning into quite a cold hearted person. her answrs to me were pretty BS though as for us shes accepted the breakup, isnt happy about it and feels bitter towards it but doesnt feel it would work out.

So your absolutly right, i was striaght and honest with her, could of said more but could of said nothing at all, she knows where i stand on it and that friends will never be an option. Any contact will need to be from her, which in no uncertain times i told her after me spilling theres nothing else i can do unless shes willing to give a bit back. there is a tiny chance in the weeks to come what ive said might change her thoughts as i was completely honest with her which i feel quite good about but for now its done, i did everything i could and shes doing everything she can to not let it get to her. Respect her wishes and leave with your head held high.