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Hello, I guess I just need a place to vent and get my feelings out. Hopefully people who've gone through a similar situation can give me some advice on what their thoughts were during the time it was happening in their relationship.


My friend and I have been dating just over 9 months now. During this time we've had a bit of a rocky relationship because we tend to fight a lot. I know a lot of that comes my self-esteem and it's his first relationship so it's a bit hard for him to handle. The last week itself we had a huge fight and broke up for couple days. He did call me back saying he couldn't live without me and knows the kind of bf I want and is just too afraid to loose me. During this fight, I found out he was hiding stuff from me and destroyed my trust a little bit. I am a very romantic person in general. I guess I have a lot to give. I don't want to play games and neither does he. I'm very open about my feelings and he is too.


I guess I just feel so messed up right now because he just started school Monday to Friday and works on the weekends and he doesn't have time for me anymore. I feel so alone and depressed. We did use to spend a lot of time together in the past so this is a big shock for me. It's not like I can't go over to his house after school. I can and he doesn't care if I do or not. I know I sound a bit selfish right now but I hate always being the one initiating when to meet. I know after a relationship gets old for a while it's hard to try the way you use to. He does have a car so I usually drive there. I just wished once in a while he could bus up here to see me. Initiate when we can hang out. I hate feeling like I'm always the one that needs him. I understand he's busy and he has a lot and he's working on managing his time because he just began school. But with the resent fight we had, I can't help but to feel so insecure about us.I need a lot of reassurance right now. I want to spend time with him everyday if we can. I love having the feeling of coming home to someone. I'm not saying I don't allow him to do his homework, in fact, I encourage him to finish before we chat. I just don't feel needed anymore. I just feel like I care about him way more. I'm starting to feel neglected and my needs aren't met.


I have brought this to his attention and he totally understands the kind of guy I want and what I need. I guess I'm just so disappointment because he does understand and haven't made a change. I don't want to be selfish and I am definitely not telling him to give up his life for me. But I want to feel this love and passion he use to have for me because I have forgotten as days go by. I feel alone. I know this is the kind of stuff that either makes or breaks a relationship. I want to be as supportive as I can without letting go of my needs.


I hope those of you who respond can be a bit sensitive. I seriously am doing the best I could right now. I know during this time I should be filling up my time instead of obsessing about the relationship. I am seeing a counselor just for my own self esteem issues and childhood wounds of abandonment and mistrust and abuse.

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I think it is interesting that you say you want "someone" to come home to, and you want a certain type of boyfriend.....If I were him I would feel that I was interchangeable....you like the idea of a bf, but you don't actually like him.


I wouldn't feel special if someone kept trying to change me for some ideal.


Take a break, find yourself, then start dating again....You may even find someone better suited for you.

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You sounds a bit like my girlfriend (that i want to break up with) no offence.


I think you have to realise that you cant run your life around someone else, make plans, chill out do your own thing for a bit and let your boyfriend do his.


There is nothing worse than having someone clingy, that craves your attention constantly.

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