Boyfriend is too busy for me

[pinkbunni3xz]

Hello, I guess I just need a place to vent and get my feelings out. Hopefully people who've gone through a similar situation can give me some advice on what their thoughts were during the time it was happening in their relationship.

 

My friend and I have been dating just over 9 months now. During this time we've had a bit of a rocky relationship because we tend to fight a lot. I know a lot of that comes my self-esteem and it's his first relationship so it's a bit hard for him to handle. The last week itself we had a huge fight and broke up for couple days. He did call me back saying he couldn't live without me and knows the kind of bf I want and is just too afraid to loose me. During this fight, I found out he was hiding stuff from me and destroyed my trust a little bit. I am a very romantic person in general. I guess I have a lot to give. I don't want to play games and neither does he. I'm very open about my feelings and he is too.

 

I guess I just feel so messed up right now because he just started school Monday to Friday and works on the weekends and he doesn't have time for me anymore. I feel so alone and depressed. We did use to spend a lot of time together in the past so this is a big shock for me. It's not like I can't go over to his house after school. I can and he doesn't care if I do or not. I know I sound a bit selfish right now but I hate always being the one initiating when to meet. I know after a relationship gets old for a while it's hard to try the way you use to. He does have a car so I usually drive there. I just wished once in a while he could bus up here to see me. Initiate when we can hang out. I hate feeling like I'm always the one that needs him. I understand he's busy and he has a lot and he's working on managing his time because he just began school. But with the resent fight we had, I can't help but to feel so insecure about us.I need a lot of reassurance right now. I want to spend time with him everyday if we can. I love having the feeling of coming home to someone. I'm not saying I don't allow him to do his homework, in fact, I encourage him to finish before we chat. I just don't feel needed anymore. I just feel like I care about him way more. I'm starting to feel neglected and my needs aren't met.

 

I have brought this to his attention and he totally understands the kind of guy I want and what I need. I guess I'm just so disappointment because he does understand and haven't made a change. I don't want to be selfish and I am definitely not telling him to give up his life for me. But I want to feel this love and passion he use to have for me because I have forgotten as days go by. I feel alone. I know this is the kind of stuff that either makes or breaks a relationship. I want to be as supportive as I can without letting go of my needs.

 

I hope those of you who respond can be a bit sensitive. I seriously am doing the best I could right now. I know during this time I should be filling up my time instead of obsessing about the relationship. I am seeing a counselor just for my own self esteem issues and childhood wounds of abandonment and mistrust and abuse.

[sadchick83]

I think it is interesting that you say you want "someone" to come home to, and you want a certain type of boyfriend.....If I were him I would feel that I was interchangeable....you like the idea of a bf, but you don't actually like him.

 

I wouldn't feel special if someone kept trying to change me for some ideal.

 

Take a break, find yourself, then start dating again....You may even find someone better suited for you.

[RKO]

You sounds a bit like my girlfriend (that i want to break up with) no offence.

 

I think you have to realise that you cant run your life around someone else, make plans, chill out do your own thing for a bit and let your boyfriend do his.

 

There is nothing worse than having someone clingy, that craves your attention constantly.

[DylanNotorious]

It sounds like he's drifting away from you. And your trying to pull him closer because he's slipping away. Sometimes you just have to let go, because the truth of the matter is - he can feel himself drifting away, but is not really doing anything to become closer to you. So that in itself, is something to think about.