major blow on my self-esteem

[marcon1984]

Hi all,

 

I am writing to steam off my anger about what happened today! i would appreciate your advice.

 

so there i go to a job interview (could possibly be the 25th interview i'm going to or s'thing, it wasn't the first time for me), and 3 people welcome me: 2 vice presidents of the company plus the COO.

 

(*detail: i already have another job, i'm just looking for another one)

 

1st BLOW: The COO was so offensive against me, trying to sell me the story that I'm so inexperienced for this position, that I need extra training, and so forth.

 

2nd SLAP IN THE FACE: They all began asking me the most silly questions on earth, like "what can you contribute to the company?" .. I fell silent for 20-30 seconds, I mean completely silent, when I began speaking I was stuttering (what a nice picture of a grown-up man stuttering and losing his words). I wanted to kill myself.

 

............ The question is, although I have promised to myself to "grow" in the field of "keeping composure" when needed, I find myself incapable of doing it.

 

I can never give a quick-witted answer to weird comments/question, let alone when they insult me with things like "you're so inexperienced for this position".

 

My self-esteem after this interview has dropped to like -10... Any advice shall be appreciated?

 

 

[lukeb]

If they believe that you need training for a particular position that shouldn't be a blow to your self esteem. There is nothing wrong with being inexperienced for a particular job. Were they willing to offer you the training? if so that would seem that they are probably interested in hiring you. If anything that should be a boost to your self-esteem. When you start somewhere new you don't start from the top, you start from the bottom and with experience you work your way up.

 

What can you contribute to the company seems like a totally legitimate question, if that question took you aback, then you need to practice your job interview skills. Nothing wrong with that, just something you need to do.

[rosephase]

Asking how you can contribute to a company is a pretty standard question. I'm surprised you haven't run into it before. I honestly can't think of the last interview I had where that question wasn't asked. As for saying you aren't qualified I doubt it was meant to be a blow to your ego just a clarification on what the job is calling for. Try to not take it personally. Interviews are just awkward and strange. That shouldn't have to be a blow to your ego.

[camus154]

It could have also been a test to see how you'd react. I question how under-qualified you were for the job because you obviously got an interview to begin with.

[agent1607307371]

How much prepping for interviews do you do? Because neither of these things seem that out of the ordinary.

 

There are websites and books out there to help people get themselves ready to be interviewed and not be caught off guard by questions interviewers will ask.

 

How have your other 25 interviews gone? Where they very differnt to this one?

[Brownstone322]

I'm not saying I like their questions either, because people "in power" tend to take themselves too seriously, but I think you could have rolled with them anyway ...

 

The COO was so offensive against me, trying to sell me the story that I'm so inexperienced for this position, that I need extra training, and so forth.

Possible answer: "I'm always looking to expand my knowledge, and based on my [education/existing experience/personal outlook], I think I'd be in a excellent position to pursue additional, more-specialized training."

 

They all began asking me the most silly questions on earth, like "what can you contribute to the company?"

Possible answer: "For starters, I'm enthusiastic about this kind of work. And I have [experience and/or education] in [whatever that happens to be], and I think my background would be an asset to your team. Plus, since I'd be coming in from the outside, I think I could offer some fresh ideas and insight. Sometimes a new perspective can be the best thing."

 

Crap like that (meaning stuff we'd never say in any other situation).

[lozzy1980]

i went to an interview skills session at work today as our place is closing down... apparently loads of tips online regarding how to prep for job interviews and the sorts of questions to expect... the main things they want to know is will you fit in with their company and team, and what will you bring to the company. So i would not at all be surprised by a question about what i would contribute to the company.

 

Another thing, make sure you know what the companies VALUES and AIMS are - what are they all about? what do they pride themselves on doing well in? what do they hope to achieve in future? what projects they currently involved in etc etc etc. a good way of finding out is reading their busines or corporate plan. then - thoroughly familiarise yourself with the job description and person specification.. these are all sorts of things that they might ask you about, and you need to know all this stuff pretty well so your answers fit in with their aims, values and the requirements of the job.

 

you also need to have a good idea of what your various skills are and have various examples to show you have the necessary skills and experience.

 

you must have had the skills, if not the experience, for the position if they interviewed you! was a bit mean of them i think though to say your inexperienced... think they were trying to see what you could give them to convince them regardless of whether or not you got the experience, they wanted to see if you have the skills and ability for the job.

 

how did you get to the interview stage? CV? application form? there must have been something they could see in you that meant that they thought you were a good candidate

 

i hate job interviews myself i had one earlier this yr and the feedback crushed my self esteem... i had actually applied for a lower grade (desperate to find a new job) and the feedback i got was i was an extremely nervous candidate and i only met one of the 5 competencies!!! i was gutted!

 

dont take that one interview to heart. sometimes they too need to brush of on their interviewing skills including how they ask the questions and interact. and also interviews are an artificial environment.. they do not reflect who you are in reality. so do not let this trash your self esteem... just learn from it what you can, and be prepared for such questions in future so they will not take you so much by surprise... by being prepared i actually mean also thinking about how to respond - and more advice i was given today was actually stand in front of a mirror and say your repsonses out loud! will feel bit like a dummy but sounds like good advice... dreading having to try it myself for next time but we need to get more self aware on how we come accross and the more prepared and practiced you are, the better you should do on the day. good luck

[TheVP]

"what can you contribute to the company?" is a rather boiler-plate interview question.

 

What is the position you are applying for?

[Philos]

You need to work on your interviewing skills. The "How can you contribute to our company" question is a softball. You should have just went over you professional achievements, how they would apply to this job, and your strengths.

[Mizzan]

I agree with Camus. You wouldn't be talking to people at such a high level if they didn't think you were qualified. 'Tests' like this do occur, where they press buttons to see how you react. My guess is they wanted you to stick to your guns.

 

So, no need to take it as a blow to your confidence! Just an eye-opening experience. Now you know. Maybe next time this happens, just dig your heels in and know that you wouldn't be there if they didn't think you are qualified - and explain to them, politely - but firmly - why they are wrong.

[marcon1984]

and also interviews are an artificial environment.. they do not reflect who you are in reality.

 

thanks all for your insight !! so helpful!! but i couldn't agree more with you, lozzy1980 yeah, they do not reflect who we are, do they?

 

what answer do they expect? that i'm a lazy scumbag and i smoke pot every day? or do they satisfy themselves by listening to well-rehearsed (learnt almost by heart) answers.

 

sometimes i feel incompetent when people make me lose my words and stutter, on the other hand sometimes i do realize it's not my fault, this happens to anyone.

 

for example, when i got back at him on an offensive manner, asking him "how can this company contribute to my career?", the COO lost his colour, he couldn't give me a proper answer. (not to mention he wasn't expecting such a question from a candidate half his age).

 

when i realized there wasn't a chance we would cooperate and that i had nothing to lose, i quickly turned aggresive:

 

him: "in case the company is satisfied with your progress, your career will quickly advance"

me: "what if you are not? what happens then?"

him: "errhh, we either terminate the employee's contract, or.... blah blah"

me: "oh, really? you just sack him? just like that? that's a bit scary, woow!!"

him: "errhh, no, errhh that's not what i meant"

 

 

[Ariel85]

The COO wasn't insulting you, hon. He was testing your moxie, and wanted to see you step up and sell yourself. Fail.

 

Asking you what you can contribute is interviewing 101. Again, fail.

 

Your sardonic response of "what can the company do for me?" and your self-admitted "aggressive" attack that followed was really bad form. My jaw is still on the floor, actually. You seem to have taken the whole interview process as some sort of combat, and that you "won" by your assault on the COO, but the reality is, you made yourself look horrendous in a professional setting among senior executives.

[agent1607307371]

Agree with Ariel 100%

 

 

Macon, you applied for the job. That is why the COO gets to ask you why you should work for them.

 

If you don't want to work for a company, why apply to them? All you did was make sure that there was no way you would be hired and make yourself look bad to a roomful of people. Is this how you handle every interview you've been on?

[marcon1984]

wow.. what a point of view!! are you used to going to interviews and seniors treating you like that? if this is the case, i can understand your humbleness towards COO's and vice presidents.

 

if not, look at it from another point of view. it is them that posted the vacancy.. i might also be looking for ajob, but they are also looking for a vacancy to be filled. it is a mutual relationship, do not sell yourselves short.

 

All you did was make sure that there was no way you would be hired

 

read my post carefully. at the time i became offensive, i wasn't at all interested in this company anymore. and that was not the state of mind i began the interview with.

 

i have been to more than 20 interviews in my life.. 9/10 have treated me right, with mutual respect being share between us. the last one was the exception.

 

and stop selling yourselves short.

[agent1607307371]

So when you began the interview, you wanted to work for them. Then when they asked you a standard interview question, you lost interest.

 

Macon, if you can't even tell them why you are the best candidate for the job, you are the one selling yourself short.

 

Nothing you have posted about them is in anyway out of the ordinary for a job interview. Your reactions to them however, most certainly were.

[Ariel85]

wow.. what a point of view!! are you used to going to interviews and seniors treating you like that? if this is the case, i can understand your humbleness towards COO's and vice presidents.

 

if not, look at it from another point of view. it is them that posted the vacancy.. i might also be looking for ajob, but they are also looking for a vacancy to be filled. it is a mutual relationship, do not sell yourselves short.

 

You still seem to think they somehow singled you out and you were mistreated. You weren't. You were being interviewed by a high level professional who was testing your strengths, and you simply failed.

 

I am very used to C-level executives challenging me every day in business. It's normal procedure when interacting with the big boys. Not everyone is cut out to run with the alpha dogs in business. It has nothing to do with selling yourself short. It has to do with respecting the chain of command, and understanding basic business principles, including interview skills. You were given a golden opportunity to shoot back and sell yourself, and you didn't. Instead, you got defensive and combative. You were out-matched, so you're trying to blame shift your short-comings onto the COO for somehow bullying you. But, he didn't. And you didn't "win". Your comments that left him speechless weren't because he didn't have a comeback. It was because he was shocked at your unprofessionalism in that situation.

 

Somewhere there is an HR person at that company who is getting read the riot act for passing you through to these folks. lol

[camus154]

marcon,

 

Apparently you haven't been to enough interviews, no matter how many you've had, if questions like "what can you contribute" are throwing you off. No one "made you" lose your composure or your words. That was hardly a trick question and if it rendered you speechless for 20-30 seconds, then perhaps you should look to yourself and your own interviewing skills before pointing the finger at the big, bad corporate types who treated you so horribly.

 

I would highly recommend getting rid of the apparent sense of entitlement you have going into these interviews. Yes, it's a mutual relationship but unless you're extraordinarily talented and have head hunters constantly knocking on your door because you're just that good, the interviewers will always have the edge over the job candidate. Forget any notions about what's fair and what you think should and should not be asked during an interview.

 

One other thing....it's a small world. You may no longer be interested in this particular company but you never know who may be running in the same social or professional circles as these VPs who pissed you off. Think about it.

[marcon1984]

i amazed with the fact that you haven't yet mentioned the fact that he kept underestimating my qualities, experience and knowledge.

 

i have spent 3 of my best damn years to gain some knowledge, in a country anyone could barely speak english, sacrificing my personal and social life, sometimes even being afraid of my life. a sort of experience/knowledge that -in my field- is considered "sacred", rare, and very few possess. this bully knew it, however he spent some good 10-15 minutes of the interview trying to convince me how incapable i was of this position, offending in such a way i had to respond. i can let no one underestimate me in such a horrible way. i've been in many interviews, he was the exception, not the rule.

 

yes, i admit i was thrown of with the "how can you contribute" question, but this was only after having been offended by his ruthless comments in the beginning of the interview. i HAD my bad moment stuttering, that's the reason i turned to this forum. to steam my anger off and get some advice.

 

in case you, ariel1985, have been used to dealing with c-class executives, do yourself a favor and change your mindset. in case you can't, stop bashing other people that had the guts to defend themselves against a couple of vice presidents that draw pleasure by humiliating their candidates.

 

i've been treated much better in other interviews i've been to. i wish the same to you, too.

[camus154]

i amazed with the fact that you haven't yet mentioned the fact that he kept underestimating my qualities, experience and knowledge.

 

Exactly...and the very fact that you're amazed by this is why everyone keeps telling you the same thing. Boo hoo, he sold your skills short in the interview. What's your point?

 

i have spent 3 of my best damn years to gain some knowledge, in a country anyone could barely speak english, sacrificing my personal and social life, sometimes even being afraid of my life. a sort of experience/knowledge that -in my field- is considered "sacred", rare, and very few possess. this bully knew it, however he spent some good 10-15 minutes of the interview trying to convince me how incapable i was of this position, offending in such a way i had to respond. i can let no one underestimate me in such a horrible way. i've been in many interviews, he was the exception, not the rule.

 

You chose to make those sacrifices for your own gain. Otherwise you wouldn't have chosen them. So an interviewer didn't respect those "sacrifices" as much as you thought he should have. So what? Either way, clearly all of these "sacred" qualities you possess weren't quite sacred enough to impress him. Maybe that should tell you something?

 

If you're really so valued in what you do, then why are you so bothered that ONE interviewer didn't appreciate you? Why did this ONE experience shake your confidence so strongly if you're so self-assured in your qualifications?

[Ariel85]

stop bashing other people that had the guts to defend themselves against a couple of vice presidents that draw pleasure by humiliating their candidates.

 

 

OK, again, this isn't what happened. No one humiliated you, his comments were certainly not "ruthless" and you were not in a position where you needed to feel defensive. They were CHALLENGING you because they wanted you to step up and shine. You seriously misread the situation, and still are.

 

You were tested, and you didn't rise to the occasion.

 

I've never been humiliated or belittled in an interview or a work situation. I have had plenty of superiors ask me just the same questions you were asked, however. I didn't view it as them trying to put me down - I saw it for what it was - being given an opportunity to sell myself, my experience, and what I can offer to a company.

 

Like Camus said - I would definitely lose the massive chip, because although I know you feel justified and put upon, I hope in time you can step back and see that the whole situation made you look foolish to the executives, and not the one in the power position as you seem to think.

[marcon1984]

Exactly...and the very fact that you're amazed by this is why everyone keeps telling you the same thing. Boo hoo, he sold your skills short in the interview. What's your point?

 

i am equally amazed that it hasn't yet crossed your mind that the other party will try to sell you short coz that's a negotiation trick when it'll come to the salary issue. i wonder how you manage with your career if you can't see the obvious.

using negotiation tricks is one thing. using them in an offensive manner, is another.

 

i feel pity for the people reading & contributing ENA now.. it's a place where people come to seek advice, open their hearts, find some friends to pat their back over some difficult moment they might have had. i have had mine.

 

a couple of years ago ENA helped me stand on my feet again after a huge disappointment i had in my personal life.. stop dropping the quality of this forum, what you're doing and the way you give your advice doesn't reflect the forum's purpose.

 

off I go, see u

[camus154]

i am equally amazed that it hasn't yet crossed your mind that the other party will try to sell you short coz that's a negotiation trick when it'll come to the salary issue. i wonder how you manage with your career if you can't see the obvious.

using negotiation tricks is one thing. using them in an offensive manner, is another.

 

What makes you think I haven't thought of that? You're the one who's so amazed by all this, not I

 

Maybe they really were offensive, or maybe it's just your pride messing with you (and from how you sound here, I'm assuming the latter). Doesn't matter much, does it?

 

i feel pity for the people reading & contributing ENA now.. it's a place where people come to seek advice, open their feelings, find some friends to pat their back over some difficult moment they might have had.

 

I see...you think solid advice only comes in the form of patting you on the back, saying "it wasn't your fault" and then giving you a bunch of platitudes?

 

Now, when you get over the whole injured pride bit, perhaps you'll calm down and realize that you really shouldn't let your composure get blown so easily, and maybe that's the real lesson here. Good luck.