Opinion on morals

[AHJT1607306448]

Ok, I'm involved in a relationship in which we both are faithful to each other and share the common moral of reserving sex until marriage and we both agree to this. Recently we went on spring break together to Myrtle Beach. The multitude of oppurtunities we had to have sex if we wanted to were there, but we abstained, even while many of the people we knew were having sex, sometimes around us. Although, we are extremely physical without having sex ourselves. Now, we've engaged in oral sex on each other many times. I'm just looking for an opinion from people regarding whether they believe oral sex is sexual intercourse. I've heard arguments for both side and can see the points of both. Just pondering what everyone else thinks is the point where the whole "no sex before marriage" line is broken. I personally believe sexual intercourse is all that matters under the "no sex before marriage" ideal.

[sisterlynch]

We all want to believe that we are moral people and can make good judgements on issues. That is sometimes true and sometimes isn't.

 

It is best to be in a monogamous relationship where there is an understanding between two people that they can communicate with each other and that each other has a say in the situation.

 

Just be careful and use protection, everytime.

 

If you really want to preserve virginity, you need to stop all sexual contact with each other. If this is not posible, just be careful.

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

I agree to sisterlynch for 95% of her reply. I also think that people would like to believe that they are moral people and make good judgements. However, in opposite to what sisterlynch says about stopping ALL contact, I would say: "Do whatever YOU feel comfortable with". Remember that you only live ONCE. You have to live this life to the max. Although I don't share your believe in abscence till marriage, I understand where you are coming from. Everyone has their own opinion in that.

 

My bottom line is, though, believe in yourself and trust your judgement. If it comes from the mind and heart, it is right for YOU. If you decide to have intercourse, use protection like sisterlynch suggested. Better be save, than to be sorry afterwards.

 

I hope that this answered your question.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Di]

My opinion is sex is sex, may it be oral or intercouse, regardless of whatever is called.

 

However, If you both are faithful to each other, then waiting until marriage to make LOVE with each other will be worth the wait.

[hazel eyes]

I had your same belief for 20 years, and then I met a boy as the story goes, fell in love, tried to abstain for almost 2 yrs...started having oral sex...and then eventually finally we had sex...it wasnt an oops that happened it was a decision. it was torture trying to stay away from it. He had agreed, he never pressured me in any way...but one day we spoke about it, and i made the decision. I felt that he was special enuf for me to give him this.

 

I told myself that oral sex was not sex...but i dont think it matters...what others think. Its what you believe, in the end you have to live w/ yourself and your decisions.

 

See what will matter is the decision you two made, will oral sex make Sex after marriage any less special? I don't think so....after alll think about it you want to marry him. It will matter if you break up w/ him and the next guy you're with says oral sex before marriage is wrong..then what? you've already done it...so to him it will matter.

 

But once you've made an agreement w/ your current boyfriend/future husband about oral sex/sex....thats all that matters. you both are on the same page. I think you're doing the right thing in waitin for sex till marriage, which you already know. Just never forget that its not about the sex, its about the gift for the one you marry. I forgot about the small detail that he might not be the one I marry, and gave it up...thinking oh well he'll be my husband anyways, even if you have a ring on ur finger w/ a promise saying that he will be ur husband..its easy to fall at times....when your "in love." best of luck

[Klingsor]

Since it is up to the two of you to decide what is okay and what is not before/after/instead of marriage, the two of you will have to decide what you'll do (now/later/never). If you've already had oral sex, there's no reason to stop. Hell, why not let the rule be something like: no anal sex before marriage; or no threesomes before marriage; or whatever. Then you can fukk all you want, and you'll still be "saving" something.

[quietgrl]

I agree with your post

[Batya33]

If you reserve sexual intercourse for marriage that is your choice. I would say that morally there is a big difference between being technically a virgin (because you haven't had intercourse) and "virginal." I wouldn't consider someone who has had oral sex to be "virginal" or abstaining from sex on totally moral grounds. Once you start getting that technical about what it means to save yourself for marriage, you have to question whether it is still a question of values/morals. Just my humble opinion.

[Luke Skywalker]

Oral sex is impure and unclean based on biblical standards.

 

The mouth is created for eating, drinking, breathing, and talking, and singing and communicating. The reality is, what comes out of the mouth, such as gossipping and slander or lying can be damaging.

 

The penis is created for urinating and when having sex, going inside a vagina.

If the penis is inserted elsewhere, then it is a sexual perversion and thus considered part of the branch of 'uncleanlinesss' a type of carnal sin.

 

Thus, there is no structure to support the mouth as an orafice for a penis, and this is a sexual perversion, otherwise, babies would come up the esophagus and vomited out, not through the vagina.

[quietgrl]

Luke,

 

Are you against oral sex?

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke,

 

Are you against oral sex?

 

It's uncleanliness and contrary to acceptable standards of holiness that is expected with sincere Christians.

 

I'm against it because it's sin. I'm not going to be a self-righteous prude that hammers the bible down and looks at people as morally and spiritually inferior to myself, while at the same time, as you can see from my other threads, have 'sexual issues' or have a sexual side that likes to be expressed, like anyone else on here. So, I understand the need of sexual expression and the desire to want to feel connected with someone or express love, and how that could be a form of that, as well as getting off.

 

However, people that have knowledge or 'know better' are expected to live up to higher standards. So, if someone claims to be a born-again Christian, and wants to please God and live according to holy standards, then oral sex can not be part of that lifestyle and will compromise a Christian's testimony. Christians are commanded to be separate from the world, not part of it. To the world, any form of sex is acceptable as long as two parties consent, however, for the church/bible, only maritial vaginal sex is acceptable period, and any other path is a direction away from God or a choice of rejecting God.

[quietgrl]

Well i understand how some people don't like oral sex but i really don't have no opinion on oral sex. Hmm i wonder what your future Girlfriend will think no oral sex?

[Luke Skywalker]

Well i understand how some people don't like oral sex but i really don't have no opinion on oral sex. Hmm i wonder what your future Girlfriend will think no oral sex?

 

 

My future girlfriend should also be a born-again Christian who is celibate and waiting until marriage and who will lead me closer to God, not lead me away from God.

[Batya33]

Are you saying that only christians eschew the belief that any form of consensual sex is acceptable? I know of at least one other major religion right off the bat that does not believe in pre-marital sex. And, your statement about being separate from the world - do you see yourself as separate from the world in terms of doing charitable work?

[quietgrl]

My future girlfriend should also be a born-again Christian who is celibate and waiting until marriage and who will lead me closer to God, not lead me away from God.

 

Luke,

Some women might be happy with you because no oral sex

[patch2006uk]

The bible also says that a woman who is raped becomes the property of the rapist, and it is her fault for not crying out as he raped her.

 

(Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT)

If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

 

(Deuteronomy 22:23-24 NAB)

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

 

your own moral code should be based upon your own morals, and what you feel comfortable with. Don't let one book rule your whole life. i believe in God, but not really in the bible, and it's quotes like this that made that the case for me.

 

Oral sex can be a beautifully intimate act between two people, married or not.

[Luke Skywalker]

The old law was a bit looser because the people of Israel were 'stiffnecked' and a 'rebellious' group of people so concessions had to be made.

 

For example, divorce was permitted in the Old Testament on virtually any ground. Under Jesus' standard, there is NO GROUND for divorce, except habitual extra-maritial affairs.

 

In the Old Testament, people could marry as many wives or concubines as they wanted to (ironically not considered fornication), while in the New Testament seems to stress one wife and one husband only and anything further is wrong.

 

So, it appears there is a higher standard of morality and holiness in the New Testament. If it were Old Testament times, then I would say that fornication is not listed in the Ten Commandments since it's not adultery, while in the New Testament it is something to abstain from. So there are different standards in the Old and New Testaments.

[scarew]

i believe in God, but not really in the bible, and it's quotes like this that made that the case for me.

 

Oral sex can be a beautifully intimate act between two people, married or not.

 

Ditto Patch. To the OP, a million people will give you their different opinions. People like to do this because it makes them feel like a stronger person and that they are grounded in their own morals. Don't do anything for anyone else, do it for yourself. A just and fair God would not want any different. If you want to wait for intercourse, but engage in oral sex, because the two of you believe that is what is best, then continue what you are doing. If you feel good about it, do it (heh heh).

 

Waiting for sex is a culturally important issue for many people. Telling you to just suck it up and do your girlfriend would traumatize the both of you because it is something you have placed great value on, probably for most of your lives. However, telling you that what you are doing now is a sin causes you to question your own decisions and might be equally as traumatizing. If you both don't have a problem with it, and feel that you won't regret it later on in life, then why worry about it. Cheers,

Sarah

[Luke Skywalker]

Are you saying that only christians eschew the belief that any form of consensual sex is acceptable? I know of at least one other major religion right off the bat that does not believe in pre-marital sex. And, your statement about being separate from the world - do you see yourself as separate from the world in terms of doing charitable work?

 

 

The poster of this thread was a Christian seeking advice concerning their own faith, so my reply only pertains to the original concept of the thread.

I dont know about other religions, but in the Christian faith, because born-again Christians are indwelt with the Holy Spirit, and their bodies are deemed to be the property of the Lord Jesus Christ, and not their own, then they have to adhere to the standard of the Master. You either yield to Master Jesus, otherwise, Jesus is not Master something else is.

 

The concept of sex is two people become one. Period. You cant have more than one life-time partner and not adhere to holy standards, because everyone you have sex with, you are uniting with in spirit, and defiling the Holy Temple of God. So, to a Christian, who owns my body, if I look at a serial number, the Lord Jesus should be on it, or I'm not a Christian. A Christian has a responsiblity over the Master's property not to mess it up or defile it. Thus, strict holy rules are in place concerning this so there is no excuse and one cant say 'gee God, I didn't know this was wrong'.

 

Christians are expected to do good deeds and charitable work, they would want to as that's the nature of the Spirit that's inside them, and would be miserable of not making a good difference in the world. The mandate first and formost is to preach and spread the word around, and get people saved, maintain an integrity or good personal testimony for the Lord by living lives that are sanctified and holy before the Lord, and then thirdly good deeds would be naturally manifest as part of that lifestyle.

 

Now, as humans, Christians are bound to fail if not properly trusting in Jesus Christ to maintain a holy walk because the sin-nature is not eradicated totally when Jesus enters in, but it becomes a perpetual internal civil war conflict between the Spirit (good) and the flesh (bad) natures, and if unchecked, the flesh automatically wins due to the default orientation.

[quietgrl]

Luke,

 

How funny we almost have the same view but i'm not into religion.I base my views on how i want myself to be treated with the most highest standards.

[patch2006uk]

i don't disagree, but in that case, why is the old testament still part of the holy book? surely you can't pick and choose which bits to follow based on which bits you like and which bits you don't. these passages still come from the bible.

[Shadows Light]

BACK TO THE ORGINAL POSTERS QUESTION.... and Religious Dogma aside

 

You decide what is BEST for YOU. If you want to abstain from intercourse until you are married then do so, it doesn't matter what other people think. You do what you can live with.

 

Personally... I enjoy human contact. Love and would not give up ORAL sex for anything. It works for me.... and it works for my partner, and thats all that matters.

[Luke Skywalker]

The bible also says that a woman who is raped becomes the property of the rapist, and it is her fault for not crying out as he raped her.

 

If someone doesn't resist a rape, then it could be consentual? That has to be resisted, yelled, screamed, cried out. If someone rapes anyone, they are expected to resist with all power. That way you may scare the rapist off and get attention from the public around so you can find assistance. So sure, people should make a loud noise and cry out if they are being raped.

It's statistically improbable, but some women have weird fantasies about strangers taking them, and I've read them on adultfriendfinder.

 

(Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT)

If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

 

 

That's not a woman becoming the property of the rapist. It's a rapist having to marry the woman because he violated her.

 

Different standard. Rapist has a life sentence to live with the woman he raped and cant divorce her. He has to DEAL with the victim for the rest of his life. Dont think people would rape people in a society like that to be stuck with a woman you cant divorce for your whole life. That's being accountable to the victim. You have to take care of her, build your family on her, and see her as a wife, not just a sex object.

 

(Deuteronomy 22:23-24 NAB)

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

 

 

Again, people who get raped should resist it. Some women do have sick fantasies. Obviously, most women, including you, dont. But for those that do, and consent to a stranger doing this, then it's not rape. Just because someone is a stranger, or a best friend doesn't make a difference, rape means no consent. If there is consent, then there is no rape.

 

your own moral code should be based upon your own morals, and what you feel comfortable with. Don't let one book rule your whole life. i believe in God, but not really in the bible, and it's quotes like this that made that the case for me.

 

 

 

Oral sex can be a beautifully intimate act between two people, married or not.

 

So far the cited passages seem to touch a spot with you since it seems to justify rape, when in fact, it says that a woman has to resist a rape or sexual advance WITH FULL FORCE, by kicking, screaming, crying out loud, to make it clear it is unwelcome. You dont allow a rape to happen then go to the police afterwards. You have to fight the rapist by making the resistance that is shown in the Bible, and that will usually scare off an attacker. Even if you were filing a police report afterwards, the police will look into when you filed the complaint, and what type of resistance you made. Obviously, if you told the police you didn't resist and even said you liked it and even wrote a profile about it and some guy caught wind of it, then it wont be a complaint.

 

That's the lesson of the second passage. The first passage is more controversial. But if a rapist were to see a victim as a potential wife rather than a sex object, then maybe there would be a different mind-set about the whole thing since most men arent' that gun-ho to get married.

[sasky101]

BACK TO THE ORGINAL POSTERS QUESTION....

This post was started in 2003....

[Batya33]

The old law was a bit looser because the people of Israel were 'stiffnecked' and a 'rebellious' group of people so concessions had to be made.

 

For example, divorce was permitted in the Old Testament on virtually any ground. Under Jesus' standard, there is NO GROUND for divorce, except habitual extra-maritial affairs.

 

In the Old Testament, people could marry as many wives or concubines as they wanted to (ironically not considered fornication), while in the New Testament seems to stress one wife and one husband only and anything further is wrong.

 

So, it appears there is a higher standard of morality and holiness in the New Testament. If it were Old Testament times, then I would say that fornication is not listed in the Ten Commandments since it's not adultery, while in the New Testament it is something to abstain from. So there are different standards in the Old and New Testaments.

 

 

From what I have seen in practice and from my studies, there is no difference in moral standards, other than of course the problems of anti-semitism and related persecution where there were some very immoral acts perpetrated in the name of the new testament. Maybe it's better not to draw the comparisons you are -- is it really necessary to do so in order to believe yourself to be a person of high moral standards? I am as well, do not follow the new testament and would never try to compare whether the old or new testament had superior "morals."