prettyname Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I don't get it. The TA has flirted with me a few times. But, he also always corrects me. There are 4 ppl in our lab group and he always singles me out to tell me I am doing something wrong. (noone in the group knows what they are doing.) On the other hand, he will flirt with me also. I don't get it. Today for example he told me to clean the lab table. He actually told me to clean some things which were out which our group DIDNT EVEN USE and WERE NOT PART OF THE DAY'S LAB. Then he tried to talk me during the break. Like, I was talking to my lab partner then I went to get my coat and he came over to me to initiate conversation. But, I was so pissed he told me to clean the lab table that I walked away. I actually am considering e-mailing the professor and asking him to tell the TA not to talk to me anymore, but to talk to the rest of the group because he unfairly singles me out. But, I also like him and think I might be over reacting. Is he just socially retarded that he corrects me then tries to flirt with me? I don't think he is socially dense because he is an outgoing guy and seems to have good social skills. Does he think I'm an idiot? I don't get it. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 This poor guy is just doing dumb things to get your attention....if you don't like it, tell him directly that you don't like it....chi Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 No, he has to keep the lab clean. telling me to clean the table was part of his job. Link to comment
ToF Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 The title of your thread says you like him, but from what you've written it sounds like you don't like him...? Don't email your professor about this, unless it escalates to an inappropriate level. Either handle it between the two of you, or ignore it. Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Are you sure he is flirting and if so, is his flirting unwanted? If so then that may require a different course of action than if you like him. Either way, however, it's probably a bad idea to encourage it because it could lead to problems down the line. If you both like each other then you both need to wait until the semester ends to act on it. But from what you have written here it's hard to tell what is going on. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I am attracted to him and he flirted with me a few times a few weeks ago (but I did not respond). The flirting is not the problem since he stopped. Since then he has not flirted with me, but continues to correct me during the labs. Today he tried to talk to me during the break. I think he can tell I like him because I blush when he talks to me. Also, he is indian and I look white. So, I don't know what he thinks of caucasians. This is not the school I will earn my degree at (I am taking the class to transfer to my school) so it is not as though we will work together again. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I basically do not want him to speak to me about mistakes I make during the lab for the rest of the semester. I think this would be better said to the professor. There are only a few weeks left neway. Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I basically do not want him to speak to me about mistakes I make during the lab for the rest of the semester. I think this would be better said to the professor. There are only a few weeks left neway. But isn't it part of the TA's job to explain to the students the correct way to do things? Why should he stop correcting you? I think that would be a rather odd thing to suggest to the professor. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 But isn't it part of the TA's job to explain to the students the correct way to do things? Why should he stop correcting you? I think that would be a rather odd thing to suggest to the professor. The thing is he *only* corrects me at our table. Also, he doesn't do it in a helpful manner. He is kind of like "you're doing that wrong!" as opposed to "this is what you should be doing". The other people in the group don't know what they are doing either. So its a bit unfair. He can correct someone else from the group. I was actually going to ask the girls in my group "do you guys think the TA corrects me more than anyone else" But, I didn't want them to say "oh she just likes him so she's making up stories about him"... Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 Also, I do like him. I think he likes me too. But, why does he correct me? Shouldn't he be nice to me if he likes me? Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I would not complain to the professor unless you could do it in an anonymous way, and even then the class is so small that it could be traced back to you. I would just leave it be. Unless he is doing something inappropriate (and doing what you feel is unfair by correcting you and not others isn't the type of thing that qualifies), there is nothing to report. Singling out one person for criticism unfortunately happens with some teachers and you just kind of have to work around it, take the criticism gracefully, and ask questions. I have had people talk down to me and single me out before and the best way to deal with it is to try to do the best job you can and ask questions that show that you really care about getting it right. Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Also, I do like him. I think he likes me too. But, why does he correct me? Shouldn't he be nice to me if he likes me? Who knows. People behave in strange ways. Maybe he is on some kind of power trip. Maybe he feels rejected. Could be a million possibilities. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 If he did that to you, would you still like him? At first I was like "ok he is correcting me because he likes me.." But, know I feel like he's doing it because he's on a power trip! I feel like when he thinks he wants to sleep with me he flirts, but during the lab when he's doing his job he acts like a * * * * . Link to comment
chitown9 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 If he did that to you, would you still like him? At first I was like "ok he is correcting me because he likes me.." But, know I feel like he's doing it because he's on a power trip! I feel like when he thinks he wants to sleep with me he flirts, but during the lab when he's doing his job he acts like a * * * * . It is because of this I would not be interested in him anymore if I were you. Do you still like him?... Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 If his reason for singling you out is because he likes you, he sounds about as mature as a fifth grader. IF he actually liked you and wanted a real chance with you, he would do the right thing and be friendly but treat you like everyone else, then after he is no longer your TA, he would ask you out. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 It is because of this I would not be interested in him anymore if I were you. Do you still like him?... Yea that's why I want to complain to the professor about him. He is rude and honestly not a good TA because he is arrogant and disrespectful towards the students. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Well, is this class almost over? I would complain, but if it is almost over I wouldn't....chi Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Well, is this class almost over? I would complain, but if it is almost over I wouldn't....chi I think complaining in a situation like this is almost guaranteed to backfire. Unless there is something inappropriate going on (and it does not sound like she would be complaining of harassment but rather of getting singled out for course-related criticism) then complaining is almost certain to backfire. It would be like complaining to HR or your boss's boss about how your boss is giving you a hard time and being overly demanding. It could hurt your grade. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Keep you mouth shut and finish the class. That is the best course of action here. I had a science professor single me out, but it was for praise and he made me his TA the next semester. This guy is not acting like he likes you at all. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I agree. Ironically, the professor is an old french man and he's so, so sweet. Part of the reason I didn't trash the lab (I thought of staying behind when class ended up throwing all the stuff off a few tables) is because I didn't want to cause problems for the professor. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 ^ Agreed. Consider this a life lesson. Jumping up the chain of command to speak to his boss will only make you look like a child who can't handle her own problems in a mature manner. If you truly have such a problem with this guy, then be a big girl and talk to him about it. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I still like the TA though. I think the professor can tell I like the TA. He was nice to me after the TA was a jerk. Link to comment
prettyname Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 ^ Agreed. Consider this a life lesson. Jumping up the chain of command to speak to his boss will only make you look like a child who can't handle her own problems in a mature manner. If you truly have such a problem with this guy, then be a big girl and talk to him about it. How is it a life lesson? I didn't do anything wrong. I'm being bullied by a TA who may or may not want to have sex with me. Link to comment
ToF Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Wow ... So this went from him "correcting" you to him "bullying" you ... And it's gone from him "flirting" with you to wanting to "have sex" with you. I think you need to let this go. Link to comment
ToF Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I'm sorry you're getting upset, but I am honestly just trying to offer my honest opinion. My advice is to let this go, and try to finish the course with strong grades. If you feel that his behavior is keeping you from doing that, then either talk to him personally or go ahead and email the professor. The worst that can happen is that the professor will get irritated. But if you can present some solid evidence that you are being harassed, then it will benefit you to speak with your professor. It's up to you. Again, I'm sorry to see that you're getting upset. Name-calling is not allowed on this forum, just as a heads-up. Link to comment
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