Jayson01 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 -I'm 22 years old, she is 30 years old -Met on OKC -Date last Tuesday; went great -Made second date for last Wed -She couldn't make it, texted me apologizing, moved 2nd date to Thurs -2nd date went even better; SHE kissed ME on 2nd date -Everything in these two dates was great: laughs, chemistry, were both incredible; talked about having a joint bday party in December etc; made plans for Monday (this week) -Texted her Monday about getting together -All of a sudden she goes cold, "Cant meet today, have a meeting" -Haven't heard from her since then (which was Monday); although we are still friends on FB, and she liked my status yesterday, so she hasn't COMPLETELY cut off contact What the hell? I'm close to giving up on dating completely. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Drop her and move on. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 -All of a sudden she goes cold, "Cant meet today, have a meeting" When she did that, did you ask for a reschedule date? Link to comment
Jayson01 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 When she did that, did you ask for a reschedule date? Yes, to which she replied, "maybe." Yuck. Since then though, like I said, she liked my status on Facebook, which I guess means she hasn't COMPLETEY cut off contact. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Facebook means nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing. Liking someone's status amounts to the same thing as "some stranger on a bus glanced over at me." She's told you everything you need to know. Link to comment
DN Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 "maybe" means either "no" or "I want you to chase me and do all the work". Move on - she may be older but she is way too immature. Link to comment
april15 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Chase her. Try to make arrangements. woo her. If she does no work, is seeming cold after a few more dates, maybe you two are not the match you thought.... Give it the effort, what have you got to lose? Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Yes, to which she replied, "maybe." Yuck. Forget her, for sure then. That's rude and she sounds like a princess. P.S. Delete her off facebook too. Link to comment
22n32 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 forget her.. shes playing around.. wants attention from a younger guy.. maybe some fun.. but will be serious about a guy 30-40 with money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ i cant even describe the things ive seen from women 20-35.. its not approprite on the forum.. most very attractive women, all want a guy with $$$$$$$$$$$$$ all say they dont but they do.. ive been in your shoes when i was 21.. i was hooking up with 30yr old hotties.. u cant run the same game on her as u would a 21yr old girl.. u gotta go in for the kill, be a man, player.. she wants that from u and wild sex.. but when the 35yr old with money comes around bye bye.. the world and humans work in a very strange way.. Link to comment
GreenCupcake Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 22n32, although that may be true in this case, it doesn't mean it's true all the time. I dated a guy who was a lot younger because I thought he was serious about me and he really caught my attention. I was doubtful at first because of his age but I went along with it anyway. Tsk tsk, I should have known better because I'm the one who wanted something serious and he just wanted to play games. There are good women out there! Maybe this woman wants him to call her instead of texting her. Or maybe she just liked the attention and you are right. Regardless, he has to stay positive. If she's not going to take him seriously, then he can move on and find someone else. Link to comment
22n32 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 22n32, although that may be true in this case, it doesn't mean it's true all the time. I dated a guy who was a lot younger because I thought he was serious about me and he really caught my attention. I was doubtful at first because of his age but I went along with it anyway. Tsk tsk, I should have known better because I'm the one who wanted something serious and he just wanted to play games. There are good women out there! Maybe this woman wants him to call her instead of texting her. Or maybe she just liked the attention and you are right. Regardless, he has to stay positive. If she's not going to take him seriously, then he can move on and find someone else. there are and i agree with u... and 99.9% of the women on this forum.. have morals, and decesny.. the bad ones arent on this forum.. there out there in real world, dating sites, lounges, bars.. hunting for the guy with money and looks.. ive dated many girls, rich,poor, good and bad.. its why i have a hard time finding a good one and when i do i fall for them because they are rare.. and not to sound shallow, but most of the good girls are not that attractive.. the very attractive ones feel like there a commidity and they deserve a good looking guy with money.. life is expensive, inflation everywhere.. nobody wants to struggle.. everybody wants fine things in life.. why do u think guys make millions.. only so many cars u can buy.. its to attract the most beautifull women.. survival of the fittest.. most very attractive women.. that want a guy with money arent gold diggers or bad people.. they just want the best for themselves.. and it took them hundreds of yrs of great gene pools to get very attractive... im just given the other side of reality... Link to comment
Generation Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 -Everything in these two dates was great: laughs, chemistry, were both incredible; talked about having a joint bday party in December etc; made plans for Monday (this week) You and her? don't you think that's a bit fast..? Does her friends know she's dating you? Maybe she wants a relationship under the radar. Especially considering you're 22, and she's 30. Give her another shout, see how that goes. If anything, you might be able to date her casually. Personally, that's all I'd want. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Chase her. Try to make arrangements. woo her. If she does no work, is seeming cold after a few more dates, maybe you two are not the match you thought.... Give it the effort, what have you got to lose? Your self respect. Don't chase, don't woo, don't play games. Link to comment
Deciduous Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Hi Jayson01, I have to agree with pl3asehelp, here. You've done enough chasing for now. Step back and give it space. If it's meant to be she will come around and clear her schedule. This process won't be speeded up by you repeatedly asking. A relaxed attitude is needed. If it happens, fine If not....NEEEEXXTT. She knows you are interested. You've already put your cards on the table. You've made it clear you'd like another date. What else do you need to tell her? Leave it alone for a full week and see what happens. If nothing, send one more neutral, short and friendly message, (not about a date, or why she hasn't got in touch. Pick an entirely neutral subject. ) - If she doesn't respond to it, then walk on by. Your time is way too precious to spend it on a situation where you have to beg, plead or coerce. Nooo thank you. Current status? This lady can't commit to a third date, let alone a relationship. Who knows, that may change but right now this scenario doesn't require more effort, it requires less. I promise you, your entire romantic future does not hinge on one lady. I get you reaaallly like her, but you want to come accross as confident and laid back. Let her wonder what you are upto. There's other things in your life. Distract yourself with them for the next week. Stop the circular thoughts about her, which will only lead to anxious action. Get back on OK cupid. Get your confidence back. No need to force this, let it go on it's natural course. What ever that may be. Deci Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I think maybe she's met someone else on the site and wants to date him instead, but is keeping you around as a second string. Either that, or she's playing some stupid hard to get game. She's probably not worth it. Link to comment
Ready4anything Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 She is definitely handling this the wrong way. I think that she did like you, but had time to let it all set in and decided the age gap was too much for her. Instead of being upfront, she is just blowing you off. I would definitely move on because it seems like she is trying too. As a 31 year old woman, I would be very hesitant about dating someone who was 21. It is a whole world of difference in interests, career, social situation, and life goals. She is doing you a favor I think. Link to comment
shotinthedark Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Don't send her ANY messages. You've already put yourself out there, she knows you're interested. Ball is totally in her court. If she's interested, she'll text you if she hasn't heard from you in awhile. And for God's sake, do NOT post anything on Facebook. I think you should forget about her... UNLESS she makes some contact asking for a date. In which case, give her "Can't, I'm busy" treatment. Followed by "What about (insert day)?" Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Back in my online dating days, I went on a date with a gal and we seemed to hit it off really well. She told me how cute I was, laughed at all of my jokes, and in general I thought we got along really well. Late night phone conversations, IM, all that jazz. I asked for a second date and it seemed like she was a little hesitant about it, but when I asked again she readily agreed so I back-burnered my concern. Well, the evening before our scheduled date she sent me a message saying something came up and could she take a rain check? I told her I wasn't that big of an idiot, thanks but no thanks, and that was the last time we spoke. Everyone I talked to couldn't believe how I handled it, thought I was really rude and unfair and should have given her another shot. Come to find out, a few months later she had gotten engaged to an old friend and that was that. My point here is that when you've done your fair share of dating (especially online dating) you'll learn to recognize the type of woman you're dealing with. You'll have the flakers, the rebounds, the serial daters, and sometimes the "good" ones. And you can almost always tell what type a woman will be before (and if) date 2 arrives. Eventually you'll get to a point where you give these early dates very little leeway before you shrug and move on. That's not a bad thing, either. It's your time and your energy and the more you date, the less you'll put all the eggs in the proverbial one basket. If a woman ever breaks a date, she better come with a plan B. No vague "rain check", no "we'll see later", no "maybe". Link to comment
sidehop Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Dating others, still with the ex, recently divorced...who knows. Maybe she's testing the water in the dating market. I agree with everyone else, not worth your time. Link to comment
DN Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 If a woman ever breaks a date, she better come with a plan B. No vague "rain check", no "we'll see later", no "maybe".This is the key - if she is really interested she will come up with an alternate date. And if she is one of those women who wants to be chased, you can save yourself a lot of trouble and go find someone more mature. Link to comment
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