Long term effect on us?

[melissao39]

So in the last two weeks my boyfriend of almost a year and I found out I was pregnant. After talking about it we decided it was best not to have the baby so we went ahead and got a procedure done. My concern is we reached a mutual decision about the situation and I haven't shown resentment ( which i am not) and have been quite normal, I just wonder if this will have any affect on our relationship? HE seems extremely normal and fine, i am just thinking about the long run. We decided it was best not to keep it because he feels like that he would like to eventually do things right between us and he says he wants to give me everything the way that every woman dreams of. Meaning like i guess "traditional" way of doing things. I was scared this was a bs scape goat and i told him and he was getting kinda upset when i kept saying this everytime he would bring this up, he would also say why is it so hard tobelieve that someone may want to give you the best they can give. I do believe and trust him, and he has been unbelievable during this whole situation I couldn't have asked for anything more. I would love some opinions.

[camus154]

I'm not really sure what the problem is. You both are apparently good with this decision and yet you seem bent on forcing an issue that doesn't exist.

[DylanNotorious]

You said it was a joint decision, doesn't sound like it was.

[thejigsup]

It never bothered my relationships both times I did this. Looking back I feel bad about it for moral reasons, but at the time I was fine with it and I still respect everyone's decision on this. If you are both happy, put it in the past and be more careful about birth control in the future.

[22n32]

many yrs ago.. a gf at the time got pregnat, we loved eachother very much.. but decided to take the pill, we werent ready for a child even though we wanted too..

 

we promised eachother it wouldnt effect our rel.. and one day we would make a baby again together..

 

2months later she dumped me.. to this day is still dont know why.. it could of been her thinking she got a new chance at life or she resentet me i dont know..

 

but i think if both of u work together you will be able to get thru it..

[Fudgie]

If it was a mutual choice, you have nothing to worry about. Just keep communication lines open.

[Batya33]

I wouldn't look for problems. I would continue to be as honest as possible with yourself and with him -not every woman dreams of doing things in a certain order- it's great that you do and that you two are on the same wavelength. It's insulting to accuse him of saying this as a bs scapegoat. Of course it's possible he's feeling emotional about the decision in hindsight - that would be perfectly normal and it could be he keeps saying this to convince himself that it was the right decision when those emotions creep up on him.