LoveLovelove10 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I started dating someone I'm very into. I feel like we have a lot in common, a good connection and chemistry. We've known each other for almost a year at this point and started off dating...however it wasn't the right timing. He had just gotten out of a serious relationship a couple months before, and he was super busy with school and work. He seems relatively interested at the time, we talked about once a week and hung out a handful of times, no sex but we did kiss. Anyway, I told him I wanted to be "dated" and he seemed too busy, we should just be friends. I dated other people, so did he I'm pretty sure... Fast forward 7 months and we've started talking again out of the blue. This time around was different in that we've been talking or texting every day. We've been hanging out steadily at least once a week. We've had sex at this point though and it was completely spontaneous and unexpected but I went with it. It's been a month and a half at this point and nothing has changed... we're still just hanging out once a week and talking pretty much every day. I mentioned something about dating other people and he said logically we had a lot in common and he didn't see why this wouldn't turn into a relationship but at the moment, he's still busy with work and school. He's got a full time job and 2 classes he's taking and his work is very hard labor work... so he says he's tired all the time. He straight up told me, it's not us, he's just super busy, has to pay bills and can't put me first right now. sigh... I guess my issue is, am I stupid for just being dragged along so to speak waiting around for him to be ready? Does this look pathetic on my part? I'm not sure because I turned him down before for the same thing. I feel like maybe I'm being unreasonable expecting him to put his all into it but maybe not? He is working full time, and going to school full time AND has issues with his back as well so is in a lot of pain sometimes and on medication. If you ask me is it worth it to me to wait around, the answer is a resounding yes but for how long should I wait? I'm not exactly happy at the moment because I feel as though him being busy is just taking the fun out of the beginning of this relationship. I can tell he doesn't have a lot of energy to put into it but he says he can't deny there is something there and doesn't want to deny himself the chance with me even though he feels bad he can't put everything into it right now. He does have a house and a mortgage to pay... Does anyone have experience with this type of situation where it worked out in the end and the man was being legit and after things settled down, the relationship picked up? How long should I wait around for him to want to be officially in a more serious relationship before I say screw this? Link to comment
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