Cynder Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 If I was with him would I want him and someone else? Honestly I can't answer that question right now. He is someone I feel really connected to and there's a real magnetism between us. I think if we were together we probably would be happy as hell with each other and not want anyone else. But that's only speculation... I know he has some pretty liberal ideas about relationships himself. We have talked about stuff like that. He has told me he's intrigued with Bisexual women and always wanted to date one. He told me if he ever had a Bi girlfriend he would let her be with other women as long as he got to at least watch once in a while, lol. I know I'm rambling a little, sorry. Basically, I would like to think that I would only want him and no one else if we were together. But I can't guarantee that. What if him and I were together and I really start missing being with women, and he encourages me to go find myself a girlfriend. Then what? Well, then I don't want just him anymore. I just have no way of knowing. If he's all in it for one on one is hard to say. He knows what kind of marriage I have. He sends me all these really strong signals... the other night he was doing all these little things like kissing my hands, and playing with my hair, etc. And the biggest one being his ambiguous use of the L word... But then not too long ago he told his roommate (my friend) that he doesn't want a relationship at all right now. Idk... Yea, it is straining... I don't feel like I've lost any sense of self though. If anything I'm gaining some sense of self through all this. But yea... I'm not sure what to do there. I know hopping from one bed to another bed isn't a good idea. This thing with him was so unplanned. I want so many things that conflict with each other right now. It's like I want to be with him, but I also want to be single... I want to leave the country, I want to switch jobs but don't want to lose the sweet money I'm making. It's all a mess right now. If I do go away it won't be for a long time... that's if I even go at all. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 He might believe that you need to be in love to have sex. He loves you and has told you that. Do you love him? Have you told him if you do? I know if I were in love with someone and they were not in love with me, I certainly wouldn't want to have sex with them. Link to comment
Cynder Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 He might believe that you need to be in love to have sex. He loves you and has told you that. Do you love him? Have you told him if you do? I know if I were in love with someone and they were not in love with me, I certainly wouldn't want to have sex with them. No, I don't love him... now. It could turn into that in the future. I don't think he loves me either. Yea he said it the other night, but I don't think he meant it. It's hard to explain. It's one of those things where you would have had to hear the context to know what I'm talking about. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 No, I don't love him... now. It could turn into that in the future. I don't think he loves me either. Yea he said it the other night, but I don't think he meant it. It's hard to explain. It's one of those things where you would have had to hear the context to know what I'm talking about. I'd just ask him how he feels then - tell him you're not sure you believe what he said and let him explain to you exactly how he feels. Link to comment
Cynder Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'd just ask him how he feels then - tell him you're not sure you believe what he said and let him explain to you exactly how he feels. Eh... it might be a little too soon into things to put him on the spot like that. If I did that he might go running for the hills. When he said it the other night the first time he was joking. When I got to his house it was just him and I alone. He was telling me he invited this person and that person to come over but didn't think they were coming. And I was just teasing him, I said 'Yea, you might be stuck here alone with me all night *laugh*." And he said "Aw don't say that you know I love you." But then later on that night after the alcohol had been flowing for a few hours he said it again. This time though, there wasn't really much context at all. He just said it. It was completely random and out of the blue. At first I wasn't even sure if that's what he said. So I didn't say anything back. Plus there were a lot of people present at the time too, and I just didn't feel right. Also I didn't want to make a complete ass of myself if that's not what he said. But, I'm about 98% sure that's what he said. I have good hearing and I know what I heard. Link to comment
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