BigMac Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Hi guys, I broke up with my ex about 6 months ago after 4 and a half years together. Im 26, she is 25. I'm her first boyfriend and know she has not been with or is not looking for anyone else at the moment. Her reasons were that she didn't want to "rip my clothes off" anymore, loved me but was not 'in love' with me and generally felt like she could live without me. The full (long) story is in another thread. Anyway I know that the root of my problem is lack of attraction. She frequently made comments whilst in our relationship that I asked her opinion too much and didn't take the lead, I also moaned a lot about most things, preferred to stay in and watch TV, picked fights and was generally not much fun. These are all things I am working on improving for myself but which I believe will also improve attraction. Since we have broken up we have remained friends; very good friends. We see each other a couple of times a week and talk every day. I am very close to her parents and I go over for dinner once every couple of weeks. I even went on holiday with them and my ex for a week about a month after we broke up. It's gotten to the stage now (within the last month) where she invites me to stay over and we sleep in the same bed. I have to stress that there is no sex, we just cuddle. She says that whenever this happens it makes her feel more attached to me and she doesn't want to let me go. She also cuddles up to me when we watch a film/tv etc. My question is, am I sinking into the friend zone or is any of this a good thing? I know she doesn't want to get back together, but I know that this is because of the lack of attraction - she's mentioned that a lot recently. I want her to be attracted to me again and I know she wants to be attracted to me again but don't know the best way to go about it. I've been trying NIC over the last 2 weeks and she has started getting very insecure about me 'not loving her' anymore and started making plans about us hanging out more and even going on holiday together. Do I go on holiday with her? Do I sleep over at her house? If not then how do I change this behavior subtly so she doesn't think it's because I have a hidden agenda? How do I maximize my chances of her being attracted to me again? Is reconciliation even possible in these circumstances? Sorry for the list of questions; I'm just battling with myself about whether I'd be shooting myself in the foot either way. I'd appreciate your feedback. Thanks, BigMac Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.