Would you break NC a week after break up for Birthday wishes?

[jerk chicken]

Hi everyone,

Me and my bf broke up last week, we said to each other thats it and we had agreed before that if we argued over the same issue, we would break up. We havent had the actual talk and discussed giving stuff back yet and in 2 days its his birthday, we had made plans and everything, anyway we have both done NC but i dont know if i should text him on his b day even though he has done something to really upset me (but in his mind its my fault) to be the more mature person.

p.s I def am not using this as an excuse and would prefer not to contact him but i want to remain mature and adult even though he has insulted me and left me in tears.

[iBroken]

If i were insulted and left in tears, I would not send any birthday wishes - but thats just me

[DylanNotorious]

Nope don't send that birthday text. Let him stew on his birthday without you.

[jerk chicken]

Thanks, I just want to be the bigger person?

[DylanNotorious]

That's great and all, but what will wishing him on his birthday do exactly?

 

Maybe next year if you guys are still talking he gets a "happy birthday" but not this year. If you wanna do it, do it, but not sure how your going to proceed when he takes it as tho everything is honky dory between you two again.

[jerk chicken]

Yeah its not at all acceptable and I def dont want to be with him, but just want to be mature and obviusly I do care about him still, but then he stormed off and left me upset so maybe I would look stupid to send a nice message

[DylanNotorious]

It's not that your going to look stupid - it's by sending that text that will be leaving that door opened for him to come crawling back because you sent him a birthday text.

 

Because after you've sent it, you will be obligated to talk to him if he texts you, because you initiated the birthday text to begin with. And THEN you will look stupid and look like your playing games if you ignore him, because by then it will be too late - you will have to text back (and the pattern just starts all over again)

[jerk chicken]

Oh ok, so if you knew ur gf/ex was upset with you, would u be shocked if she didnt text or youu would be suprised if she did?

[DylanNotorious]

YES! I would be stewing on it all day, checking my phone and wondering "Where is her text!?!?!?"

 

But then I would think about how I hurt her, or I will think about how she can go get stuffed. But I would be thinking about her! (Which is the key here)

 

And then I would work out if I wanted to talk to her and then probably talk to her and I wouldn't worry about my birthday. But that's just me.

[Tuffly]

If you don't want to, then don't. He didn't do anything to smooth it over, either. You don't always have to be the giver and peacemaker.

[jerk chicken]

thanks guys, dont think i will bother, just because it happens to be his bday doesn't mean i can ignore what has happened

[Hollyj]

You're broken up, you do not owe him a text. If you ended a friendship with someone, would you send a text? I wouldn't.

 

Check this out:

 

link removed

[agirl23]

I was in the same boat yesterday. We too had a fight while finalizing our break up. Knowing him I know he needs reassurance that I am not mad at his breaking up with me. He "forgave" me for the mean comment I made in the fight, but then continued to look for reassurance (last sat). I was cordial but vaque. So enter his birthday yesterday. I didn't acknowledge at all. Later that night he texted me saying something about on my birthday I will get a text from him. What is that? He broke up with me. Why does he care if I texted? And what grown 30-something male calls his ex out on not acknowledging it? Is this NC working?