thekoreandream Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 Anyone have an idea what the above means? Link to comment
lemonhaze Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 She just wants her stuff back. Oh and delete/block her from Facebook. Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 So that's it. She just wants her stuff back. Maybe I just don't understand why she would still be having that caring attitude wondering how my trips are going or how my thanksgiving was. I just ignore my Facebook anyway and don't really use it anymore right now. Haven't looked in months anyway. So how should I approach this meeting or what should I say in response? Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 Bumping this up because it is quite urgent. Looking for a response from someone experienced in this area to lend advice as to what I should say in response to her email. Refer to my last significant post in this thread. Please help. Link to comment
Fun Boater 1 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 You are searching for some kind of "meaning" in her latest text message that isn't there because you are still desperate for some kind of magical sign that indicates she's still interested and wants to reconcile. Don't fool yourself. You are two months into the healing process, right? Think carefully about seeing her to exchange stuff. Do you want to risk fallign back to square one in the healing process? Because that is likely to happen, particularly if she is in a new relationship. A few books and some video games isn't worth the risk of emotional collapse that comes with the in-person contact. If she really wants to exchange items, you just ask her where she wants you to drop them off and tell her firmly that you dont' think seeing her would be a good idea. Simple as that. You have nothing to gain by letting her "drop by". Continue to move forward and continue healing. Link to comment
Fun Boater 1 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 So ... I have an update on my situation. Just received an email from my ex this morning (sent yesterday) which reads as follows: "Hey guys, Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving and stuffed your faces =). Was just wondering if I can swing by sometime next Monday or Tuesday early afternoon to pick up and drop off some stuff. I think my N64 controllers are over there. The blue and red one and however many games I left there. And also my New Super Mario Brothers I think is somewhere downstairs too. I have no idea what else I may have left there. I have your Japanese books and Psych books. If I have anything else lemme know." . Dream, Rather than over-analyze what she SAYS in this message, focus on what she DOESN'T SAY. All she talks about is wanting to exchange stuff. She doesn't say she misses you. She doesn't say anything about discussing the relationship She doesn't ask about how YOU are doing, or what you've been up to, or how you are. She doesn't say anything about wanting to reconcile. If she had any interest in getting back together, she would be telling you that directly. For your own emotional well-being, don't read anything into it. Until you hear her directly suggesting reconcilliation, you totally blow her off. It's the only way you're going to heal and move forward. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 So ... I have an update on my situation. Just received an email from my ex this morning (sent yesterday) which reads as follows: "Hey guys, Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving and stuffed your faces =). Was just wondering if I can swing by sometime next Monday or Tuesday early afternoon to pick up and drop off some stuff. I think my N64 controllers are over there. The blue and red one and however many games I left there. And also my New Super Mario Brothers I think is somewhere downstairs too. I have no idea what else I may have left there. I have your Japanese books and Psych books. If I have anything else lemme know." Wait this message wasn't even sent only to you (ie "hey guys") so I really doubt it's a secret message telling you that she wants you back. Just let one of your other roommates deal with it and stay away for now. Link to comment
LastMan Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Bumping this up because it is quite urgent. Looking for a response from someone experienced in this area to lend advice as to what I should say in response to her email. Refer to my last significant post in this thread. Please help. Don't respond to the email and don't be there when she goes to get her stuff. Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Dream, Rather than over-analyze what she SAYS in this message, focus on what she DOESN'T SAY. All she talks about is wanting to exchange stuff. She doesn't say she misses you. She doesn't say anything about discussing the relationship She doesn't ask about how YOU are doing, or what you've been up to, or how you are. She doesn't say anything about wanting to reconcile. If she had any interest in getting back together, she would be telling you that directly. For your own emotional well-being, don't read anything into it. Until you hear her directly suggesting reconcilliation, you totally blow her off. It's the only way you're going to heal and move forward. I know for my own well-being I shouldn't be reading into more than it states. I guess I am just wondering why she has asked before how my Florida trip was going and has been so nice in her messages ever since I ignored her since our last phone call. Wait this message wasn't even sent only to you (ie "hey guys") so I really doubt it's a secret message telling you that she wants you back. Just let one of your other roommates deal with it and stay away for now. Message was slated for both my brother (who she is good friends with as well) and myself apparently. Don't respond to the email and don't be there when she goes to get her stuff. I was recently thinking about saying I had work those days and that if she did want to pick it up I'd probably have my brother hand it to her. And if that didn't work and she insisted on seeing me, I can rearrange plans for later. Now this I would think could tell me whether she just needed her stuff back or if she really would go above and beyond to want to see me in person. I would assume the latter would mean she still is curious etc. What does everyone think about that plan? Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Put her stuff in a box and mail it to her. She doesn't get to see you. Link to comment
Fun Boater 1 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Arrange for her to get her stuff when you aren't there. She's not saying anything about wanting to get back together and you shouldn't see her unless she gives you clear indication that she wants to reconcile. She might be "curious" about what you are up to. Let her be curious. Don't confuse her curiosity with her wanting to resume the relationship - it's not the same thing. The only "plan" you have at this point is a plan for moving forward without her in your life. There is no "plan" for reconnecting with an ex who has dumped you. She knows you want her back, and that's all she needs to know. It's up to her to make the decision to want to come back. No plan, scheme, or tactics on your part is going to affect that decision. You move forward, you get over her, you heal. Eventually you won't even think about her anymore. If somewhere along the line she changes her mind, believe me, you will know because she will tell you. She's not telling you that now, so ignore her. Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 So I just wished her a simple happy birthday message that read "Happy Birthday!! Hope all is well and that your special day yesterday was good. I actually have to work both those days on very important business but I will arrange plans for our stuff to be exchanged." I felt it was the right thing to do to at least send a simple message as I felt it would have been juvenile to not at least wish a happy birthday. Hope I kept it simple and straightforward. Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Bumping this thread back to the top. Still no word from her as I expected, but at least it made me feel better that at least I was a mature, civil person. My friend has been bugging me for the last week or so to take out this cute girl from the Apple store, but I am reluctant to do so. Link to comment
Fun Boater 1 Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Nothing wrong with the message you sent her. You're excused for contacting her because it was her birthday. Take out the cute chick from the Apple store. What do you have to lose? You will be surprised how much better going on a date with someone new will make you feel. Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted December 20, 2011 Author Share Posted December 20, 2011 I just don't know how comfortable I feel about dating others right now as I am still not over her. Yes, it's post breakup of 4 months, but I am still having a bit of trouble adjusting sometimes as I am sure everyone would expect. Just questioning if NC is the right course of action anymore or what I should now do. Been thinking of her a lot more during my week off so far considering primarily I am at home right now versus say my working world. Still have problems going to the same places we used to go because I see the memories and am scared of bumping into her with him. Just feeling very confused that I may be placing myself in a worse position or that someone is feeding crap into her head. Idk I have gotten stronger and have reconnected with some relatives I never used to be close with. Work has made me feel more confident and made me feel much better. Not sure how to handle the holidays and whether to message her or not. Just need help to keep me on track and reassure me I am doing the right thing. Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Just wanted to send a quick update. So after her third attempt at trying to come over here to get her stuff, I finally obliged as this week is actually the best for both of us. We have wished each other Happy Birthdays and Merry Christmases through text as well. She is coming here tonight in about 20 - 25 minutes, and I am going to try to be as calm, confident, and fun as when she first met me. Don't really have much expectations as it is only stuff, but have to start somewhere. Now just need to get these nerves in order. Should I crack a couple jokes to ease the setting? Link to comment
skippy10 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Just be natural. Don't try to be something you are not!! Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 I know its just so hard when my nerves are off the charts right now. Doesn't help when you have battle anxiety issues for pretty much your entire life, so I am trying to stay relaxed. Anticipation is killing me. Link to comment
thekoreandream Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Not to double post but she just asked me "Who's Home?" which I thought was a weird question. So I answered truthfully. And she said "Okay". Not sure what to make of that right now. Link to comment
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