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I need guys to help me read what is going on with this guy call him X for the purpose of this - I really like him - I think he likes me but there is another girl that fancies him and even though everyone tells me that he would never go for her there is always this nagging doubt about the two of them and she is always telling me that he is gagging to be with her.

He is very shy and quitely spoken - he is a old fashioned guy - he holds doors open for me he pours me coffee - he makes me coffee at work when he can see I am having a bad day - she is covered on tattoos (no I don't have problem with tattoos) and she is incredibly loud and foul mouthed - but I get on great with her workwise etc I actually like this girl.


I just need help to read the signs.


I get on great with him - two of his friends have told me that he does like me but that he is afraid to date someone that he sees at work everyday.


I have been really close to him since he started work 5 years ago with me and he sits near to me.

However I noticed about two years ago that another girl that works with us was watching when he was going to tea break and following him there so that they could be alone this happened for a long time and then suddenly something happened - she told me that she thought he cared for her and that she knew now that he did not give a toss for her and she stopped speaking to him - I saw him give her a cd that he copied for her soon after and she just took it and flung it on the desk and he just walked off. I assumed that she had made a move he had rejected her etc.


She joined an internet dating site soon after and has been dating the same guy from that site for the last two years and they are practically living together but I see her looking at this guy all of the time and I know that she does fancy him and when I mentioned that he was dating someone I could see that it did affect her.


When I found out that X was dating a girl so I gave up hope but she ended the relationship with him after a few months - and then I saw him in the paper pictured with another girl at a concert - so I am assuming that he is dating her. I asked him last week via email if he went somewhere with girlfriend of friend and he replied that he went with Mary never said girlfriend and she is on his facebook page and she is the same girl that was on the paper with him so she is either girlfriend or friend. However she is a girl that he is friendly with and I believe they houseshare so it is possible that she is not the girlfriend she is just the friend.


He has been really friendly with me since breaking up with the known girlfriend - and he tells me personal details about him and his family when he does not tell anyone else at work and I do reckon that I know more about his business than this other girl - there is a work night out in a few weeks and we are broken into teams - he never attends and myself and this girl are on one team.

Then he asked this week if he could join us - this really shocked me since he never gets involved so I said fine - but now I am fretting about why - he is very deep and never joins into staff night outs.


So now I am wondering why - of course it could be that he just fancies it but my insecure side is worrying that he might be joining since he fancies her or maybe just maybe it is me.


Then today I sent out a message to see who was attending a meeting - she replied that she was and this message is a public message so everyone sees it then he replies I want to go too.

Then he emails me - are you going - so now again insecure - is he saying yes he is going to meeting since she is there or is he going since I am there and did he emaiil me to see was I going to be there since it might make it difficult if he is only going to be with this other girl= yes I know he could be going since he may want to go but again he never use to do this kind of thing.


He is always uncomfortable when around her and if he is asked to sit next to her he asks me if there is anything that can be done to stop it from happening and when she talks to him he gets really nervous - he chats away to me fine and seems really comfortable to be with me. But I have seeing him look at this other girl but it is never smiling at her or anything like that and sometimes when she laughs really out loud he just looks at her and it is hard to read him.


We have a mutual friend and we met for lunch a few weeks ago and when I walked in with him there was a look as much as to say - why is she here - so I know that there is a conversation between the guys about me but I just cannot read them.


I draw back from him alot since it does hurt me but as soon as I do he moves heaven and earth to get me talking to him again. But he has never asked me out in all these years - the closest we ever came was one night I said gosh we could do with an after hours drink but he just looked at me and then a few weeks later he came down to me and said I would not mind that drink after the day we had but I just looked at him - maybe I should have said okay so but I did not interpret this as asking me out - guys for note if you are going to ask us out then pin us down say how about a drink on a named night - so now I am wondering if that was his clumsy way of asking me out and I messed it up.



I am rambling sorry - okay what I need to know is


If you faniced a girl and even if you had decided it will never work and you are never going to act on it what would it be?

Would it be the girl that you seem to go out of your way to avoid and seems very uncomfortable with.

Or would it be the girl that you send over messages every so often during the day -copy dvd's for - tell personal stuff to - show a caring side by having lunch with them making coffee etc, have a laugh with.

We have had two instances in the last few weeks where our eyes have met and he has held my gaze - this is a guy that tends to talk down to the floor.


So guys - if you secretly fancy a girl - has been emotionally bruised by being dumped by a girl in the last few months - how would your react - how would I know etc?

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