The No Contact rule - A question

[Tomuch2hope]

Mesemene,I don't seem to have the option to PM

[CMS]

Mesemene,I don't seem to have the option to PM

 

you wont be able to pm until your account is 1 week old

[Nick Lansing]

Well said. When someone breaks up with you, the smart thing to do is to go away with your dignity intact, as soon as possible. If you freaked out at first, that's normal, but in that case I'd give a very brief apology, wish the person well and then quietly go away. You can't talk a person out of breaking up with you. I mean, you can if they're wavering, perhaps, and/or you may get them back temporarily by employing guilt or fear, but it won't last. But if you've been unequivocally dumped, you have no real choice but to accept it with dignity and disappear (for all intents and purposes) from their life.

 

I've also found from experience that going away completely (that is, avoiding the person and not initiating any contact) does give you the best chance at reconciliation. The main thing, though, is that it really helps you grow and move on. Once you've moved on, anything is possible, and you'll generally find you can do "better" than your ex.

[swann]

Mesemene and Nick L are spot on in their posts. Good posts and sound advice with a picture perfect explanation. Certainly in my case. Thanks for the posts.

[John3572]

I think exes should be able to maintain some kind of friendship when things end. After all, you were with that person because there was something(s) that you liked about them. To go 100% NC is just immature. I've always told my gf's during the relationship that if in the event that it ends I hope that we can maintain some kind of friendship. That said, there have be a few of them that made it a point to NOT be friends after a breakup just because I said that. Those are the exes I think the lowest about. Bitterness only hurts the person being bitter.

[fashionista2]

I think it depends on the breakup... in my situation I was dumped for a possible case of GIGS... I think the best possible thing I can do is leave his life completely so he can realize what it would be like without me... weather that ends up in a reconciliation we'll see... but I feel that NC is the best course of action.

[Moontiger]

^^^^ Same thing happened with my ex. He got GIGS and thought I would just be waiting around for him when he wanted to come back. I wasn't going to let myself be controlled like that so I went NC. It was the only way to take back control and start the healing process.

[Tomuch2hope]

Sorry, but whats GIGS?????

[CMS]

Sorry, but whats GIGS?????

 

Grass is Greener syndrome, typically when one party wants to go out and see if he or she can do better than you, or already have someone lined up and want to see if the replacement is better than their existing partner