octour Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 My ex gf broke up with me not quite 2 months ago after being together for 3.5 years. We had a very good relationship. No fighting, name calling etc. We would have our little arguments like everybody but nothing that an apology couldn't make up for. Two weeks prior to her breaking up with me, she met somebody at a work function. She was in contact with him for the next two weeks and even hung out with him before she had the stones to say anything. When we met up for coffee she said, 'i need a break, we're okay, but i just need a break.' So I was thinking that she was going through a lot at the time and needed some time for herself. She was having trouble at work, her sister's divorce, she just got into a car accident. The following week we met up again and that is when she really told me the truth and gave me the line of 'i love you, i just not in love with you'. Terrific. I made the mistake of doing things with her afterwards mostly at her request. We had some really great times and a lot of fun. So I was hopeful that this was just a passing fancy and it was nothing we couldn't handle together. Boy was I wrong. She has been hanging with this guy ever since and drinking and partying almost every night since then too. Also her psoriasis has acted up to the point where it's the worst I have ever seen. It feels like she is using this 'just a friend' person to get over our breakup instead of standing on her own two feet. Basically, I let my stress and work affect our relationship. I was heavily overworked, burdened, and in worry that I was going to lose my business and suffer a tremendous financial loss. It got so bad, I had to sleep in my restaurant for almost a year because I couldn't afford a place to stay. I would think that she would have some kind of understanding as to how stressful this could make a person's life. It feels like my best friend totally betrayed me. But I do know that while we were together, she tried and tried. She just hit a wall and now refers to that wall as 'just a friend'. Believe me, he's more than just a friend. Now, she still texts me, wants to meet up, makes plans for us in the future etc. A few weeks ago I would have agreed but I am in the beginning phases of NC. Today is my 3rd day. It's really hard because I love her and want her back. BUT, I know that I need to make some professional changes in my life in order for me to give any relationship the the time and care it deserves. I am not doing this for her, I am doing this for me and I can't wait. My new job will cut my hours in half, pay me twice as much, as be a lot of fun. Bye Bye 80% of my stress. Is her relationship that she refers to as 'just a friend' a rebound? What should I do to give myself the best chances to getting her back? I know it sounds crazy, but I do blame myself for letting work come between her and I. I would do anything to make it up to her, but she is very resistant to listen to anything. Even though she still wants to remain friends and stay in contact with me. Do I have a chance? What should I do? Link to comment
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