chblueguy Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Alright, so if you know you don't have feelings for men, what is your dilemma exactly? If you know you can never love a man, then why worry about being gay? And if you hold to your religious upbringing, then you prob believe homosexuality is a choice, and not an inate instinct like heterosexuality. What's puzzling is your opposition to homosexuality and your resistance, and on some level you know you aren't, but you're worried you are. If it's the arousal thing, you're 15. Your body is coming into itself and it's trying to figure out what it likes. Try not to worry so much about what other ppl will think of you because you have to worry about you because they are ultimately worried about themselves and their lives. Link to comment
Dudeguy15 Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 I'm just worried that it's an early sign. Link to comment
cantthinkofone Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 dude wat gender arouses u more man or woman? plsu i wouldnt worry like chblueguy says u body proly jus geting adjusted to wat it likes. plus why do people look at porn? to see a man and a woman screw, so those people that are looking at it put them selfs in the place of that man thats screwing the woman maybe thats wat arouses you? is you put ur self in place of that man and thnk of scewing that woman Link to comment
FaLLeN_AppLe Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 It could just be a hormone change or something? I know exactly how you feel its the same way with me jut about. when i started to go through puberty i started liking guys even thogh I really wanted to be straight. It's probably just a hormonal change. My opinion of being gay is ... you cant help who you fall for but if you do fall for a guy and be gay just make sure its for the right reasons... not just for sex (which i would guess by saying that 70% of gay men do it just for that? i dunno?) Link to comment
Dudeguy15 Posted September 19, 2004 Author Share Posted September 19, 2004 Well the thing i don't understand is that I've always had cruses on women, ever since i can remember. I remember in preschool, I got in trouble for kissing another little girl. I've always liked girls, but now all the sudden that I've found out that gay porn arouses me, I am started to wonder. Link to comment
zac Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 I dont really know how you feeling about that , but in my own culture, that is a kind of guilt, so nobody will talk about that and even they are acting like a gay. However, now I join you guys to talk about that, I think the cultural diversity will influence people. Link to comment
Dudeguy15 Posted September 20, 2004 Author Share Posted September 20, 2004 Ok. I'm going to make this easier, and just rephrase it. *I've never had a crush on a guy. *I've had crushes on many girls. *I've dated girls. *I've kissed a girl, and I was very aroused by it. But the only problem is, I LIKE TO "PLEASURE" MYSELF TO GAY PORN! I just don't get it..... Link to comment
chblueguy Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Well, rephrasing it didn't really say anything different from what you've been saying. Like many people have told you on here, "pleasuring" yourself to naked men doesn't make you gay. Don't get hung up on labels. Just be a person and not catergorize yourself into any category. And if you think you're OCD about this or anything else, this forum can't give you all the help you need, you may want to consider seeing a professional psychologist. Link to comment
Dudeguy15 Posted September 29, 2004 Author Share Posted September 29, 2004 I've also been researching "reparative therapy" Link to comment
darkaubrey Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 You dont need therapy, your just confused. I have been raised in a religious family, baptist, and my parents have always taught me how wrong it is to be gay. It doesnt matter how you have been raised, if you find yourself looking at males in a sexual way, i dont think your parents can make it go away. Can you picture yourself having sex with a man?, if it arouses you to picture that, then you might be bi, but if you are just finding yourself looking at men in pornography, you are just having thoughts about it, it doesnt mean you are homosexual. you need to quit thinking on it so much, you are probably just going through a stage. If you want counseling, here is a site that might be able to help you. link removed, they have counselors that will help you get through it. They are free, all you have to do is email one of them. Link to comment
Dudeguy15 Posted September 30, 2004 Author Share Posted September 30, 2004 The idea of ME having sex with a guy makes me feel uncomfertable, but when I think of OTHER guys having sex with eachother, sometimes it arouses me. Maybe I'm just curious. Link to comment
darkaubrey Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable, if somebody you know started to touch you, would you let him keep going?, that is more or less what i am asking, if you had the chance to have sex with a man, would you do it?, if so, then you might be bi sexual, or just as you say, bi curious. Link to comment
Hideki Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 You just need to talk to a friend, it really does help. If you are only attracted to other men doing it, its probably because of how dirty, and exciting it looks. Here are some stories that you might be able to relate to. link removed, just find one of the questions you have. Link to comment
Dudeguy15 Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 I think I would stop them, but I don't know if thats because I'm not letting myself be gay. I think I'm just overanalyzing everything. Link to comment
darkaubrey Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 Think on it. maybe you should experiment with someone and see, im not saying do it if you dont want to, but you seem like you would like to know if you are or not. Do you know anyone who might try something with you?, this isnt advice or anything, but if you wanna know, just try and see. Link to comment
SamWiseUp Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 I think I would stop them, but I don't know if thats because I'm not letting myself be gay. I think I'm just overanalyzing everything. Ok, I'm gay. I used to try to ignore it. I do think you're making this too much of a head game. It seems to me from reading your posts that your issue is more of wanting to feel like a man yourself, not that you might be gay. If masturbating while looking at a hunk is all your feel comfortable with, then I think there's just something symbolic that you are idealizing. If you were gay, I think you'd look for opportunities to check it out and see if that's really who you are. Get out of your head, follow your heart a bit and see where it takes you. You can always forgive yourself if you look back and feel you made a mistake. Relax! SamWiseUp Link to comment
timeoutchick Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Why is it acceptable for women to be turned on by pictures or videos of other women but not acceptable for a guy to be turned on by a picture of a penis? Truth be told, there are probably more guys out there that feel the same way but would never be brave enough to admit it! Link to comment
SamWiseUp Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Why is it acceptable for women to be turned on by pictures or videos of other women but not acceptable for a guy to be turned on by a picture of a penis? Truth be told, there are probably more guys out there that feel the same way but would never be brave enough to admit it! Must be societal conditioning. I can't think of any other good reason. Maybe men can't admit the turn on because they are afraid it may make them appear weak or insecure. I really think this is an American thing. There's such shame about the body, but I don't know why. Other countries, guys are more touchy and playful with each other, and it doesn't have to be sexual. Compare rugby and football. Rugby there's little protection, and the guys are grabbing each other all over the place, and ripping each others clothes, etc. But in American Football, there's all that protective gear, and most of the time is spent standing around not doing anything but looking cool. Hope that analogy is good for something. SamWiseUp Link to comment
someguy04 Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 well.. i can help a bit. i dont consider myself gay but when my friend touched me up of coiurse i was arounsed, someone was touching me up. but i dont love men. i still like women more. Link to comment
SamWiseUp Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Riding on a bouncing bus will get me hard. Doesn't mean the bus is gay (or the bus driver) Good points. Gay is not just who gets you off, it's really about same sex attraction, plus emotional longing to be with men for good and not with women. I really think the original poster has some other needs to be identified and met. My point with my previous post was that man-to-man touch can be normal and acceptable, and doesn't have to automatically be sexual...even if it's touching intimate places. If a man or a woman stroking you makes you hard, that just means your body is working properly. That's all. SamWiseUp Link to comment
darkaubrey Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Sam is right, if you get a hard on being touched by a man or woman, your body is funtctioning properly. It's just that fact, your body doesnt know what is touching it, all it knows is that it is being touched, and it feels good. The time person, or, whatever your name is, i dont now why that is , even my sister has said that if she looked at porn, she would look at the woman, not the men. But i dont have any answers, i was just adding some of my thoughts. Link to comment
Dudeguy15 Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 I'm not sure, but I seem to be afraid of just about anything I have no control over, such as my sexual orientation, war, apocolypse.... I shift from fear to fear, and currently, I'm afraid of being "gay." Link to comment
darkaubrey Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 I've also been researching "reparative therapy", this does not work, just know that, you can't get over thought's like homosexuality on your own, you need someone to help you. If you do not want it you should go and buy this book called "SOULutions" relational healing by Cathy Morrill with wendy coy, and the cross/ fire team. It helps through sexual issues such as promiscuity, homosexuality, or pornography. You need to look into it. Link to comment
James_533 Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 I was raised as one Jehovah's Witnesses and they believe that homosexuality is a grave sin. I am Gay, 19 years old and have come to the realization that I have to live for myself and not for others. I have had the same problem when I first realized that I may be gay. Even though you may not be "gay" you need to accept yourself for who YOU are. Give it time don't be worried because u get off on pictures of nude men. Perfectly straight guys have fantasies about other men. This weekend I have decided to come out to my parents and I am prepared for the worst case scenerio. You are only 15 years old your hormones are all over the map so wait u have time to figure things out. It takes time don't rush anything and enjoy life. Link to comment
swordman Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 I would say you might be bi-sexual and it is OK. I know that you want to be straight, but your nature is not. So what. Live your life happily based on moral and good responsibility with whom you are dating. Being a good person is the most important. Don't you agree? Link to comment
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