Social problems...help!

[Axerjayar99]

I'm a textbook 'nice-guy.' I'm 21 and have never been on a date in my life, so it can be assumed that I do not know how to properly woo a woman. When I talk to women, they respond nicely, but never talk to me on a casual level, unless spoken to. Is it safe to assume that if a woman behaves like this, that I have no business talking to her? Also, when I like a girl, and start associating with her on a casual level, she will not reciprocate this and after a while, the acquaintance 'burns out' or becomes corrupt, and I can no longer associate with her because she feels uncomfortable. I don't directly ask about that, until I know something's definitely wrong. Most of the time I pick up a bad vibe somewhere that tells me that the acquaintance is corrupted. When I do bring it up with her, I point out the sudden drop in her socializing with me, ask if we can restore that, and then I see a surge in her attention toward me, then it drops again. If I do break off contact, for whatever reason, no matter how long ago we met, and no matter how friendly we are to each other when we do talk, she will act as if I don't exist and walk right by, ignore me,etc. This is VERY FRUSTRATING, DEPRESSING and SHEARS MY CONFIDENCE and SELF ESTEEM! It often makes me so depressed that I actually get mad at the world! Please offer me some kind of advice, before I'm forced to move to a distant town because of corrupted reputation!

[kaylz]

im not sure how to put the words for the advice i have to give but if you email my friend email removed and he'll give you some great advice on this[/url]

[Wolf]

I have a friend that has the same problem. I don't really hang out with his friends and I have a girlfriend, so I don't see what he is doing when he is looking. From what he tells me, I think he is OVERKILLING them with kindness. He goes so far overboard that he already became a decent friend and killed chances of being anything more.

 

This same friend has a problem with recognizing when someone is flirting with him too. When he does realize it, he doesn't make an edgy enough response in my opinion. I think he gets a bit embarrassed by it and has nothing to say. Make sure you make your intensions clear. You want to be a friend or a possible boyfriend?

 

Does she have any friends that your are familiar with? Drop some hints. There was a girl that I really liked and I found out she was friends with someone I knew. As soon as he mentioned he was friends with her, I immediately told him how I thought she was extremely pretty. Of course it got back to her. Well turned out she already had a serious boyfriend and they are married now. On the flipside, she always has a great smile for me when I see her now.

 

I'd say stop confronting people with the bad vibe thing. You are backing them into a corner.

 

At the least, patch up the awkwardness with those that are pretending not to know you. When you see them next time, make a small wave or nod your head. Next time after that just say hi, if they say hi back then great. If not, thats okay. Next time say something else as a greeting. If you see her sitting someplace alone, walk over and ask how she is doing. Here is the key thing though, you still have awkwardness between you. DON'T LINGER AROUND IF SHE TALKS TO YOU. You only had enough time to stop by and say hi. Have something that needs to be done on your mind and go do it.