My family likes to see me fail and they don't support me.

[MEE123]

My parents think I'm ugly and a failure. My mom has told me I'm a failure and she is shocked to see what "I've become," while my father is happy that I'm broke and can't support myself. I've been trying to gain money, but I just got back from being out of town and my parents refused pay for anything, so all the money I saved is spent. I want to move out so badly and have just recently started working. My sisters are cruel and don't enjoy my company; they only hang out together even though they are both ugly two-faced ppl inside. I feel as though I will never get out of this rut.. I'll just continue failing. When I try to play piano my mother scoffs at me or tells me how I suck. No matter what it is that I do, I suck at it. Even when I was younger my mom never supported me. My father used to support me, but suddenly hates me and does not want to support me.

[lukeb]

Your family does support you, they are giving you a place to stay while you get yourself on your feet.

[somethngwrng]

I sent you a PM - I know exactly where you are coming from. Your family does love you but they are just showing it in the wrong ways and it is not emotionally supportive.

[ferna3069]

Your family does support you, they are giving you a place to stay while you get yourself on your feet.

read the thread before you answer something like this. this girl is going threw a difficult time.you should be more respectfull and fix your own issues before you answer,

 

to the op. i know how you feel . i think the best thing you can do is get a job and try to move out. you can rent a room some where. trust me it beats bad family member. not only will you feel free but you wil grow as a person. i wish you luck

[lukeb]

read the thread before you answer something like this. this girl is going threw a difficult time.you should be more respectfull and fix your own issues before you answer,

 

to the op. i know how you feel . i think the best thing you can do is get a job and try to move out. you can rent a room some where. trust me it beats bad family member. not only will you feel free but you wil grow as a person. i wish you luck

 

I agree that she is going through a difficult time, but really if the family wanted to see her fail why would they take her in? I am also totally with a previous poster that the family probably means well but they are not being helpful. It is an unfortunate side effect of going to your family and asking them for help, you tend to give up control. Technically they don't owe her a living and a place to stay but they are providing it. They are giving her an opportunity to get on her feet, and she should take it, that is what family is for.

[Lithp]

Technically you are an adult at this point, and your family allowing you to stay with them and supporting you financially is a courteous thing they are doing for you. While it's unfortunate that they are not being emotionally supportive, it may give you the incentive to get up on your feet and not have to rely on them.

 

Start saving your money - just focus on getting yourself out of the toxic situation you're in. Most often times this is what happens when you leave to fend for yourself and come back home. I was in a similar position when I was 19, and while I was given freedom and able to come and go as I pleased, I was expected to contribute to the household [help with bills or groceries, clean, etc..] and be respectful of my family's 'rules' [not bringing people in after certain hours, keeping my clutter contained, things of that nature] so long as I was staying there, and I did so without complaining. My parents are divorced and when my Dad found out I was moving back in with my mother, whom he hasn't spoken to in years, the first thing out of his mouth was "You better be helping her out while you're there. There are no free rides in life!"

 

Every family has their dysfunctions. Some don't get along at all, some are tight-knit and dandy, there are all kinds out there. They do love you otherwise they probably wouldn't welcome you back so that you can find work and try to better yourself. Take advantage of the situation while you can, because I know many people who's family's unfortunately wouldn't lend a hand in a situation like that.

[MEE123]

I thought I edited all that out : / Thanks for the responses. I'm trying to save $

[meoww]

This sounds like a pretty serious situation. This is just my opinion but I think you should save up and find a way to pursue your dreams and get out of there. I was raised in a very unsupportive family and things only got better for me when I realized that they were never going to be there for me. Maybe that's not the case for you, but things will get better if you rise above this cruelty and never sink to their level. Don't fight with them for your dignity or otherwise. Just know you have it in you. Look into scholarships and aid--you'll need it if you can't rely on them for things like health insurance or other basic needs. Hopefully you can find a trustworthy mentor.

 

It's up to you to decide to forgive your family or work on the relationship in time. At this point, I think you should just focus on making all those improvements for you and you alone and try to forget about these problems. That's what I'm doing. Even when I left home for school I was still haunted by all the times I was told I wasn't good enough. These days I know just how wrong it is to keep someone down like that, and I'm learning how to not let it get to me. Don't take any advice from them about your future

[meoww]

If they are up for it, you might try some kind of family counseling

 

I guess I was initially skeptical that you could trust your family since you ended up being a stripper at such a young age--I'd assume things were pretty bad at home then.