Why some men just can't be physically loyal? What is their thinking?

[PrettyGood]

There is a type of men who have their beloved ones. It doesn't matter if they're their girlfriends or wives. Maybe someone who will give birth to their future baby, who will take care of them when they will get old. Someone whom they acknowledge as a very serious and valuable partner for real love and future. They love them honestly and they care about these women, they think that these women would be the best to spend their serious future. They wouldn't let anyone to steal them, also they are absolutely sure that these women will be 100% loyal to them no matter what. They think that these women are "good girls" type, they're probably very good in bed, still there is something that they can't be loyal to them. And they know that it's a luxury item to be physical unfaithful to these women, because they know that if those women find out about their infidelity - they will break-up, disappear and never return to their lives again. Never. They know that they have only 1 chance with those women, still they can't be physically loyal.

 

So they have some business trip, sometimes they have long-distance relationship for a while or maybe they're going to dance to a club when their beloved one is not at home for a weekend and they take some one-night stand girl home. The next morning they keep that girl in their "friendlist" as a "friend" (if their beloved one would look up at their phone). Or they say that it's just one-night stand and they forget it very quickly as "nothing important happened". So the next time they meet their beloved one - they're the same lovely gentlemen and caring men as always.

 

I'm interested why does that happen? Why some men just can't be physically loyal? What is their thinking which encourage them to risk everything they have just to have short-time sex? Feel free to express what you think.

[pl3asehelp]

I think this is a good example of people behaving as they are allowed to behave and you're guilty as well. You have all these wonderful things to say about your hypothetical man, and then just add on as an afterthought that he cheats as well. See, you don't get that all of those wonderful things are just a facade for someone who is selfish and doesn't care about you at all. This guy is a dirty nasty cheater and not worth anything. Put him in his place and don't let him manipulate you into thinking a good guy cheats - they don't. All that good guy stuff you still believe is fake in a guy like this.

[22n32]

There was a study done, were biologically 1 outa every 10.. is hard wired to cheat or to spread there seed around.. I think this is so the human population survied and thrived..

 

But seems like most guys think they fall into this category and justify sleeping around because there just being a man..

[DN]

I'm interested why does that happen? Why some men just can't be physically loyal?

Probably the same reason that some women can't. It's not just men that cheat.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

They like to be admired by many. It is narcissism..they want a fan club and are not content with only one person desiring them. There are plenty of women like that as well.

[somethingNew]

Any basic anthropology or sociology class will explain to you why men aren't loyal. We are decedents of the apes, men are animals... their instinct is to reproduce. It's not that complicated. Men want to reproduce as much as possible to spread their liniage as far as possible. You should go to college, it really helps you to understand humans

[PrettyGood]

Ok, so I don't understand - they're trying to "reproduce" by using condoms with those girls? They're not trying to make babies.

[ferna3069]

Probably the same reason that some women can't. It's not just men that cheat.

exacly the same thing i was thinking. stop been bitter agianst men lol, both genres do it, i dont believe in cheating and i never cheated but i was cheated on my first relationhip. i dont see it as women are the only ones to cheat its both male and female. the reason a men cheats is usualy the same reason a women cheats

[FathomFear]

Why is this being phrased as a gender specific question?

[blackhawks1287]

Men cheat just as much as women do, and for all different reasons.

 

Call if human biology, call it selfishness, call it unmet needs, call it whatever.

 

It is a two sided coin, and both genders do it. Breaking it down why? No one could tell you.

[ferna3069]

Why is this being phrased as a gender specific question?

she might have been ceated on

[Fudgie]

PEOPLE cheat because:

 

1) They lack the integrity and honesty to end it or express their unhappiness to their partner.

 

That's the first and foremost. Now, beyond that, what is making those people unhappy?

-lack of sex

-lack of emotional connection

-abuse going on

-infatuation is over and the person wants out

-resentment

[FathomFear]

PEOPLE cheat because

 

And even prior to all of those reasons, I would also point a finger at our general society which puts monogamy on a pedestal and encourages everyone to engage in it--even those people who would be much happier not doing so.

[Fudgie]

And even prior to all of those reasons, I would also point a finger at our general society which puts monogamy on a pedestal and encourages everyone to engage in it--even those people who would be much happier not doing so.

 

I do agree. I think if you're not happy with monogamy, don't do it. I think there are many people, men and women, who are genuinely not happy with monogamy and they feel forced into it and maybe that's why they cheat.

 

I would prefer it if society was more open to open relationships. Then these people could have another option without being looked down upon. And those of us who do prefer monogamy (I like my monogamous LTRs) well, we can find people who share those values.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

And even prior to all of those reasons, I would also point a finger at our general society which puts monogamy on a pedestal and encourages everyone to engage in it--even those people who would be much happier not doing so.

 

Yes..but the people who are not happy being monogamous should CHOOSE partners who feel the same way. Also, often cheaters are very very upset if they find out that their partner got fed up with their cheating ways and decided to cheat as well. In other words, many cheaters feel they have the right to cheat but their partner doesn't have that same right.

[FathomFear]

Yes..but the people who are not happy being monogamous should CHOOSE partners who feel the same way.

 

I agree that would be the ideal. My point was that we have a society which puts monogamy on a pedestal. People become conditioned to seek it out even if they wouldn't choose it on their own accord. I'm not saying that this reality justifies cheating. I'm just saying it's an unfortunate circumstance that can be hard to overcome for many, when you have friends/family/TV/media all pushing you in one direction.

[DN]

I think that human beings developed monogamy because it was in our best interests to do so for various reasons. It is part of the mutual protection that social creatures developed. For the same reasons we developed prohibitions against murder, theft etc. Does that mean that people won't cheat, murder and steal - no, of course not. These ideas are not hard-wired as an instinct, they have been developed over time and there will always be people who see no need to conform.

[tommytoxen]

I've never cheated in my life, and never will.

 

Some people are just born evil. Simple as that. Some, like me, or born good.

[pl3asehelp]

Any basic anthropology or sociology class will explain to you why men aren't loyal. We are decedents of the apes, men are animals... their instinct is to reproduce. It's not that complicated. Men want to reproduce as much as possible to spread their liniage as far as possible. You should go to college, it really helps you to understand humans

 

This is merely a theory. Part of going to college is critical thinking and not just beleiving every theory that you're presented with.

[somethingNew]

This is merely a theory. Part of going to college is critical thinking and not just beleiving every theory that you're presented with.

 

Part of going to college is having critical thinking skills. Either you are a barbie girl, in a barbie world, or you're a real HUMAN. Sadly, we condition lot's of barbie girls that are very confused the minute they aren't 21 and not hot anymore. I would consider it an epidemic. Women need to compete with men. Just educate yourself... and make your own money.

[lalalollipops]

You can be the perfect partner and have a great relationship and still, the other person can cheat. It's just selfishness, impulsiveness, insecurity. It's the need for validation. It's boredom. It's the need for variety. It's the need for more than one person's attention.

[hexaemeron]

Oh look, a man-hating thread. Color me surprised.

 

As I've said ad nauseum, anyone can cheat at any time, in any situation, ever. Even you proud moral warriors who say you never would, you could. Everyone who has cheated before knows they said the same things. No gender, or age group or ethnicity or sexual orientation has a monopoly on cheating. No one can forge a relationship that is cheatproof by trying to manipulate circumstances or mix/max traits in another person. This level of security is not possible because again, ANYONE can cheat at any time.

 

And did I actually see someone say it's the providence of evil people? Really? Abusing children, taking pleasure in murdering, raping.... those are the acts of evil people. People who cheat could be evil, but it's not an act of evil. It's the act of some people to want more than that have. It's the act of some people who make a genuine mistake and realize it. It's the act of some people who do it because they cannot see a way out of their relationship problems and simply act to find a moment's peace.

 

Cheating is never right. But to think you can judge anyone over it, because you'll never do it or it will never happen to you is dangerous and pointless folly. The capability is in all of us. Only the circumstances need arise.