4 months post breakup... I left her a message after receiving a text message.

[Catchy06]

6 Months since we moved to Colorado together.... 4 months since I moved out because she didn't want to regret settling down in her early 20s.

 

For the past 4 months it has been on and off communication with at least 1 text/picture message/email/phone call per week telling me about her life and telling me she misses me and is thinking of me... Finally today I had enough. I didn't want to ignore all her calls/texts/emails because I'm really a nice guy...

 

I received a text this morning saying she was in my neighborhood getting groceries and thought of me. I smiled and thought to myself... wait... yesterday I thought about her on and off for the entire day and dream about her every night... but I don't send her text messages telling her about it. So I sent a response "you think about me a lot huh?" and she responded "haha hey you're my friend what can I say" I responded with "I'm your ex boyfriends... a friendship after a relationship takes time"...

 

I realize how hot and cold I've been with her for the past 4 months and after she didn't respond after an hour I decided to make the phone call. Of course she didn't answer so I left her a 2 minute long voicemail explaining how we broke up 4 months ago and have been talking for once a week since then catching up and her telling me she misses me and calling me "love" and how even though I think of her from time to time I don't send messages about it because it's a confusing subject. I told her I think it's best for me if we weren't in contact anymore. No response an hour later to the voicemail.

/

Was I being immature? Should I have ignored the first text message and not done any of this? I'm just so sick of her telling me I'm her friend. I'm trying to think positive and heal with kindness and forgiveness but I'm hurting myself by responding and she's hurting me with the texts/calls/emails.

 

After Endy's suggestion to read link removed I'm taking positive steps to better my life but it's been a rollercoaster of ups and downs... telling myself I won't respond and I'll block her and then I unblock her and allow her to contact me. I'll feel motivated and at ease for about 2 days then I lose the meditative state I'm in and fall back into old habits and regret it.

 

Endy- If you're out there... what's my next step? The message has been left, the text was sent... no responses. I'm afraid 3 days from now I'll get another call or text to want to talk about it... but I really have nothing else left to say...

 

Whoa- now I get a text: "Sorry I was on the phone with my sister"... I take it she hasn't listened to the voicemail?

 

ENDY! - Motivational books to read? Every time I see you suggest one I order it.

[MakeItCount]

Sounds too dramatic to me man. I don't think the voicemail was needed. If she calls you back, or texts you, just say "Hey, no hard feelings but I think it's best we not be in touch anymore. Take care". Straight to the point. She'll get the idea. You don't owe her explanations. You need to move on, and she needs to respect you. This is her attempt to keep you in her life and make herself feel better about dumping you. It's not fair to you.

[feenyx]

Sounds too dramatic to me man. I don't think the voicemail was needed. If she calls you back, or texts you, just say "Hey, no hard feelings but I think it's best we not be in touch anymore. Take care". Straight to the point. She'll get the idea. You don't owe her explanations. You need to move on, and she needs to respect you. This is her attempt to keep you in her life and make herself feel better about dumping you. It's not fair to you.

 

I completely agree. NC is best policy for a reason.

[Eocsor]

Agree with the above. Your next move is to move on. Work on healing yourself and forget about her. If you need to block her texts and calls. The balls in your court.

[DN]

I think you did the right thing. Hopefully she will respect what you said and not contact you.

[endy]

You did fine, but you fell into the friends zone. Originally I remember you ignoring the advice of everyone here to go NC. What you did was show her she can have you whenever she wants, and basically gave all your power to her. Your'e starting to take it back now. Don't even give her the damn time of day anymore. I understand not being mean, but you have her on a damn pedestal. If you haven't read the way of the superior man. I agree with that book for the most part, but not all of it.

 

Anyways man, if you really want to, go back and read some of your older threads. All the info you need is in there. What you should do is simple. Do what you should have done originally instead of just being there for her whenever she needed you. Man up, go NC. It's not about her anymore. It's about getting YOU back. You're starting to, but if she does call back then what? Then the conversation goes on. Basically tell her look I don't want you in my life anymore, I'm sorry but I can't be friends for the time being and hang up the damn phone. This has dragged on entirely too long.

[Catchy06]

I think I'm an emotional person and let those emotions control me. I make quick decisions based on how I feel and end up regretting it within a few hours. I've been dragging this on for long enough because I keep thinking one of these days I'm going to get a text or phone call telling me she wants to talk and get back together.

 

I'm not entirely sure why I would want her back. I wish I could think rationally... I wish right after day 1 that I had stuck to NC. I have 20/20 hindsight though... I wish I did a lot of things differently.

 

I don't feel like a man anymore... I have no direction in life and I can't decide if I'm making decisions to do things that would impress her or if I'm doing things for myself to have a better life... That's the most pathetic thing I think I have ever admitted to myself.