2 months out....

[Flywest29]

Well tomorrow will be 2 months since the bomb was dropped on me that she doesn't love me and it was all lies. This is my story .

 

It still hurts like hell, I still am floored how she could come to my house, lay in my bed, make love, tell me she loved me, and for weeks after, call, text, email me everyday she loved me. Then silence, then only after me pleading for 4 days after returning from my trip to tell me she was ok, I was honestly worried about her and thought she was sick or something had happened. But it wasn't she was just ignoring me hoping I would just fade away.

 

I was used, lied to, manipulated, but the worst thing was that I was made to believe that she loved me, which hurts more than anything, it was all a lie. I will never forget the things she texted me (wouldn't talk to me on the phone). I'll never forget that feeling of my heart shattering to pieces, and feeling so used, and so stupid. I still have these feelings but they aren't as often as they were but I still hurt, and I still think about her and everything she did all the time...it kills me. I didn't do anything to deserve to be treated like that and I can't figure out how she could do it to me still.

 

A month ago I found out that she had never even broken up with the guy she was seeing while we were on a break in the spring. I didn't go snooping, we work at the same company but different cities, and heard it through the grapevine. I didn't do anything or say anything to her about it as much as I wanted to, I knew deep down already that was the case even when she denied it when she dumped me. That hurt like hell as well, and pierced my heart again.

 

I haven't said a word or heard a word from her since that night and the last thing I said to her was f#ck you after she told me "don't worry just wash your sheets, you"ll feel better". That was her response when I told her how used and disgusted I felt when I pieced it together that she was just using me to get back at her boyfriend when he took off on a trip without her. This line will never leave my mind, it was so hurtful and insensitive and I remember falling to my knees reading it. She just said "whatever". That was our last words to each other and it still breaks my heart.

 

I am trying to move on and get over it, I know she is bad for me and what she did was horrible, and unforgivable right now, but I can't stop feeling so betrayed, used and stupid for believing she loved me as much as I loved her.

 

I am 31 years old, I have an awesome job, I am smart, funny, I get told I am good looking, and have a few women interested in me but nothing seems to help. I still sit feeling like crap (better than before) but still not good. I can only hope in 2 months that maybe I will be exponentially better, and put this all behind me once and for all. I know I am slowly slowly healing, but it just seems to be going at a snails pace. There was no closure, no apologies, no explanation on her part accept for her saying "every time I told you I loved you I loved you, I really meant I like you" and that all the emails, texts, telling me she loved me, missed me, wanted me to have her baby "was a mistake".

 

I know she has serious issues and has no empathy and I am not every expecting an apology or any closure. It sucks though even though I will see her again one day at work it is just a matter of time. It could be next week, next month, or next year. I don't know how I will be or react, but hopefully just walk by without a word or look or anything. Until than I just have to keep moving on, even though its a slow process.

 

Hoping the next 2 months go better for me and everyone here suffering some heartbreak.

[nsomnia912]

im sorry man, I can say that your story is identical to my own. please feel free to read up on my threads as it is very close to what happened to me, I am at 3 months and i feel exactly as you do... im healing but at such a slow pace, its a coinflip on a daily basis weather Im either empowered or loathing, laughing or crying.

its hard. very hard. i cant tell you it gets better with time cause right now im not sure i even believe that. it honestly sounds like my ex.. like so very close to it.

wouldn't that be something!

[Flywest29]

im sorry man, I can say that your story is identical to my own. please feel free to read up on my threads as it is very close to what happened to me, I am at 3 months and i feel exactly as you do... im healing but at such a slow pace, its a coinflip on a daily basis weather Im either empowered or loathing, laughing or crying.

its hard. very hard. i cant tell you it gets better with time cause right now im not sure i even believe that. it honestly sounds like my ex.. like so very close to it.

wouldn't that be something!

 

Hey man, I have followed your story on here for a few months actually. I know how down and terrible you felt and I am sorry you felt and still feel that way. I can honestly relate with how you feel empowered, loathing,and don't know if you are gonna laugh or cry. Yesterday I felt great, and today I thought I was gonna break down in a very public place. It is extremely draining and frustrating. I know it gets better eventually because I have been through heartbreak before but never through suchs lies and deceit before. I know she is bad for me, but it doesn't change the fact that there were all the lies and deceit, which hurts the most.

 

I know one day it will be better, its just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you wanna chat sometime feel free to PM me bro. Hope there are better days ahead for you.

[SeekFortitude]

Flywest, your story makes my ex seem like an angel. Jesus, I am sorry for you man. This girl is a psychopath...no joke...to behave like that and have zero remorse...something is missing in her.

[Flywest29]

Flywest, your story makes my ex seem like an angel. Jesus, I am sorry for you man. This girl is a psychopath...no joke...to behave like that and have zero remorse...something is missing in her.

 

Yeah and ya know the worst part about it is that I knew she was nuts from the beginning. But sometimes she was great but other times she was just mean, crazy and manipulative. I realize a lot of it it my fault for sticking around for such a long time and hoping and trying to make it work. More than anything I had an image in my head of the way things were "supposed to be" when I should have been looking at reality and see what was actually happening.

 

I know she is bad for me, I know its not the kind of woman I want for a partner, but the things that hurt the most are being used, lied to, and manipulated all so she could feel better about herself because her supposed ex bf was away on a trip to Mexico. I have just never experienced that kind of treatment and it was shocking to me that someone could treat me like that knowing I vulnerable and had been pining for her for months prior when we broke up. It's just messed up!