theNobody Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Hello Forum, This is where I normally say my name, but obviously don't want to. Anyways my story goes. I'm 25, she's just turned 21, been married just shy of two years. My wife and I have been separated for 8 weeks now. She's been thinking about separating the night before this started. As of then she'd been texting a lot with two guys from her work, talking about how much fun she has working with them, etc. I woke up the morning of our separating with anxiety and hacked her locked phone, that had recently been changed to a password I didn't know, to read the texts, she had been texting compliments, revealing problems with me, and in general was being inappropriate. I woke her to talk to her about it, when she said she wanted to separate. I thought it would be only last one day. Long story short, before she left she said she loved me, I told her I love her. Second day, showed up to her work with flowers and a card, she said she didn't love me and wish I had cheated on her so she could have a way out of our relationship. Since then it's been an emotional roller coaster. Threats of divorce, not sure if she wants to be with me again, doesn't see herself making love to be again. She says that I've been emotionally abusive, manipulative. That I don't show her love. Granted, I know I've been a little neglectful of her at times, but never enough to merit this kind of decision for separation. I've been seeking out counsel from long time married couples, pastors, psychologist, she hasn't made any effort to work this out with me. I've purchased her some gifts, brought her flowers on multiple occasions and left her little notes and love letters different places. She said that they made her feel uncomfortable so I've stopped. Since then she's been partying and "living" as she puts it. So far she's been in a situation where a guy was trying to pick her up. She went to the people who threw the gathering restroom and locked her self in there. And woke up the next day but I had to get this out of her. But she hasn't learned her lesson. She called me a few days ago, she told me she was at a party and got really drunk, next thing she knows she was getting a ride with a guy, then her cloths were on the floor and was getting it from the back. She said she didn't consent to this. But here's where it gets really confusing. She went back to him and did it again the next day or so. She claimed she wasn't consenting to it, but again she went to him and said she was being stupid. As she told me this she just told me as a something that happened, not sorrowful or really sad it happened, or that she betrayed me. She soon started pointing the finger at me, to even say, "f-you, i'm gonna get the divorce papers." I'm still in shock and still haven't figured out what to do. I feel this isn't the "rock bottom" she claims it is, as we are still separated. Since then I just think about what, why and how this happened, and how she allowed it to happen and what's going to happen next. There is so much hurt in my heart. Link to comment
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