NeverGoingBack Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 mg22, she has never been good at face to face communication, especially over important matters that need to be dealt with in a mature manner. What was your ex like in that way? Throughout the relationship, if anything small happened, and it needed to be discussed, she would literally walk out of the room and go somewhere else, bottling everything up, instead of confronting it. I would always tell her that she's about to run out of the room instead of facing up to things, and then she did! But at the same time, since her mother died, she said that I'm the only person who she can talk to! Sometimes I can be argumentative, sure, but I'm always able to sit down and discuss things calmly and rationally without losing my mind...and she just can't....find the words...so she has to leave... When she asked for "space" and then wouldn't talk to me...I had no idea if it was just emotional immaturity, cruelty (probably not, but it was very callous), or guilt over what she was feeling or doing with the other guy... Remember, that when she asked for "space" she said that she didn't want to break up and that she couldn't imagine her life without me... The break up is all my fault for contacting her, according to her. Apparently opening her mouth and discussing things with me is just too much work... Too much pressure... And then I find out about the other guy. What a * * * * * . Imagine making the person you supposedly love and care for feel like crap like that, while masking true feelings and what was truly going on... Everyone on this website has dated people who turn out to be assholes. Maybe we need to have a compatibility convention in Vegas or something, and all meet up? Don't laugh...it could happen... ;-) Link to comment
tresqua Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Everyone on this website has dated people who turn out to be assholes. A person is not necessarily an * * * * * * * just because 1) they decided to end a relationship and b) just because the person who was jumped now thinks they are. Its funny how that works, they're the greatest person in the world until they say it's over and then suddenly they're an * * * * * * * . Link to comment
NeverGoingBack Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 A person is not necessarily an * * * * * * * just because 1) they decided to end a relationship and b) just because the person who was jumped now thinks they are. Its funny how that works, they're the greatest person in the world until they say it's over and then suddenly they're an * * * * * * * . You're missing the point, but you're correct. No one said that a person is an * * * * * * * because they merely want to end their relationship. The issue is the manner in which they go about it. The callous disregard for the feelings of the one they love or loved, the cheating, the lies, the disrespect etc. Surely you get this? Link to comment
tresqua Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 You're missing the point, but you're correct. .. Surely you get this? I do get it. My issue was with the phrase "everyone on this site.. has dated.. assholes" Sometimes people just get pissed off because how dare someone reject them and suddenly the dumper is the scum of the earth whereas they may simply be a nice girl or guy who knew when to pull the plug. Those generalizations, those blanket statements are rarely correct and it's up to the rest of us to clear up those misconceptions! Link to comment
NeverGoingBack Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 I do get it. My issue was with the phrase "everyone on this site.. has dated.. assholes" Sometimes people just get pissed off because how dare someone reject them and suddenly the dumper is the scum of the earth whereas they may simply be a nice girl or guy who knew when to pull the plug. Those generalizations, those blanket statements are rarely correct and it's up to the rest of us to clear up those misconceptions! Obviously I didn't mean "everyone" since I haven't read everybody's posts. Don't worry about it anyway. If I could, I would amend the post to your specifications. ;-) It should read "A lot of people...", not "everyone". Link to comment
tresqua Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Obviously I didn't mean "everyone" since I haven't read everybody's posts. Don't worry about it anyway. If I could, I would amend the post to your specifications. ;-) It should read "A lot of people...", not "everyone". I know you haven't read everyone's post but your implication was that you were generalizing the experience of those stories that you have read to the ones you haven't. I'm going to suggest that even among the stories that you HAVE read, even though the person who has been dumped is painting their ex as some sort of terrible person, they're in a really bad emotional way, and they feel rejected, and hurt, and they're probably in a state of shock and if you met this "terrible a-hole ex" on the street you'd never be able to fit their forum description to the person standing in front of you. It could very well be that only a small minority of dumper ex's truly qualify as assholes. Link to comment
NeverGoingBack Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 I know you haven't read everyone's post but your implication was that you were generalizing the experience of those stories that you have read to the ones you haven't. I'm going to suggest that even among the stories that you HAVE read, even though the person who has been dumped is painting their ex as some sort of terrible person, they're in a really bad emotional way, and they feel rejected, and hurt, and they're probably in a state of shock and if you met this "terrible a-hole ex" on the street you'd never be able to fit their forum description to the person standing in front of you. It could very well be that only a small minority of dumper ex's truly qualify as assholes. Yeah, I agree... That's just stating the obvious. I was talking about people who cause unnecessary suffering to others. Usually when one meets someone on the street, it's very difficult to discern whether or not he/she treated a loved one terribly or was an * * * * * * * to someone at some stage. I think mg22's ex is an * * * * * * * for the way he treated her/is treating her.. Link to comment
tresqua Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yes I completely agree that a partner who cheats automatically qualifies as an a-hole. Link to comment
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