So sad still

[stevef20]

Hi all,

 

Im so sad still,

 

My ex and i split just before christmas when she decided to call it a day, I was devastated and spent the best part of the next 4 months a complete wreck, i had many weeks off work, was taking meds and seeing a councillor, all in all it was without doubt the lowest point of my life.

Things did start to look better though as people on here said they would and i found the days between thinking about her got longer and tears were few and far between.

The last week, 10 days have been different though, ive found myself sobbing a bit, sobbing really deeply, you know the one, its the sob thats from deep within, i miss her again, ive started reliving our memories again and i find myself loving her once more, i dont know why and i wish i did. i dont want to feel like this, i thought i was past this place.

 

Im very sad my friends and so if anyone has any words that might help id be very obliged.

 

Steve

[Robin2904]

Don't have any words of wisdom but offer you a cyber hug! Its around the same time frame for me (Right before Christmas) though there was a little back and forth in January, but it was officially over then for me. It comes and goes for me- I am no where near as low as I was during the Winter- same as you- one of the darkest points of my life, and have even had times where I felt dare I say 'good' in recent months, but an in a rut now also. But it comes and goes, its highs and lows. There are going to be moments where you will just miss them, your not gonna know why, not going to be able to explain it to yourself and all the rationalizing in the world isn't going to make you not feel that way. We can't just turn our feelings off (Believe me if we could I would have a long time ago lol) You just have to ride it out. Distract yourself, talk to a friend, watch a funny movie. It will pass. And what ever you do resist the urge to contact them. Emotions are something we just can not control. Hope you feel better soon!

[Carus]

Emotions are something we just can not control.

I think that is incorrect...

 

For example:

 

"I feel angry. I want to punch that guy" ~ but I wont.

 

or

 

"I miss my ex. I want to call her" ~ but I wont.

 

However I think the point that me and Robin are trying to arrive at is that emotions are valid and they need to be acknowleged and processed properly*

 

Take heart Steve* It's good to see your still with us and moving forward. I still have bad days even after 2 years re my ex, but slowly the poison is draining out.

 

Stay Strong.

All The Best...you too Robin*

Carus* 8-)

[Robin2904]

I think that is incorrect...

 

For example:

 

"I feel angry. I want to punch that guy" ~ but I wont.

 

or

 

"I miss my ex. I want to call her" ~ but I wont.

 

However I think the point that me and Robin are trying to arrive at is that emotions are valid and they need to be acknowleged and processed properly*

 

Take heart Steve* It's good to see your still with us and moving forward. I still have bad days even after 2 years re my ex, but slowly the poison is draining out.

 

Stay Strong.

All The Best...you too Robin*

Carus* 8-)

 

You are correct! That's probably a better way of phrasing it! I really meant, you can't control what you feel, but you can control how you react to those feelings- you are very correct!

 

And thank you kindly. Sending hugs and good thoughts to everyone!!

[Talus]

It'll pass bro. Don't beat yourself up about it and definitely don't be disappointed in yourself. You have come so far. Don't let this make you think otherwise. It's all part of the healing process. Just let it out and take it as it is. It'll pass and you'll realise this wasn't as bad as you felt before. The tears will dry up again. Chill and try to find some positivity to focus on even if it's for just a little bit a day.

[learning2relax]

Me too - and due to the fact that others have stated same - I am going to call it normal. I have found for myself that when things are going rather well and then I take a rather large dip (out of no where) that causes me to feel sick to my stomach and steal my breathe, once I get through it, I am even stronger. So perhaps the "it gets worse before it gets better" thing has relevance here? I have to say though, when those happen, I get all worried that I am a freak of nature that is never going to recover and go through this hellish roller coaster ride forever. But that passes as soon as the I get over the major dip too.

 

Hang in there.....Thanks for sharing. Nice to feel "normal" - if there is such a thing!

[stevef20]

Thanks for your comment guys, its nice to hear from people in the same kind of position as me and not just people who have recently started this hell on earth, i take heart from the fact im not alone in how i feel and like all of you i know after this long that things will pass and get better, its just a shame we still have these feelings of sadness although saying that, its nice to know we are human.

 

Thanks again everyone, and good luck.

 

Youre friend

 

Steve