What would you do if your boss had the hots for you?

[Shnoodle]

Would you transfer?

 

Would you ask for a raise?

 

Or would do your best to ignore it and hope they remain professional?

 

I'm in an odd situation at the new company I started recently. My boss clearly has a strong attraction towards me at work, but so far has not crossed any boundaries that are inappropriate. (Note: this is not creepy staring lower management guy) At first, I thought all the attention was sort of cute, and if my circumstances were different and he wasn't my boss, I'd give him a chance.

 

Then I hear about his reputation: a giant player, notorious for bragging about his escapades. Mild interest smooshed and flushed down the toilet.

 

I'm courteous and polite with him, but I do absolutely nothing to give him the wrong idea.The other women in the work place gush over him constantly, to the point it's degrading. I'm starting to wonder if I'm some challenging conquest because I don't kiss his butt all day.. who knows. I just don't want this whole thing to blow up in my face because I won't "date" him, and if he ever does cross those boundaries, the uncomforatble consequences of rejection may be an issue.

 

I'm so far hoping he just stays professional right now. Even if he was the most awesome man ever created, my job and his job wouldn't be worth it.

Any (reasonable) ideas to help handle the situation? Anyone have something similar happen to them?

[BellaDonna]

Would you ask for a raise?

 

I would keep it 100% professional and would tactfully ask for a raise if I deserved it for my work, but he'd never never get a raise from me.

 

The other women in the work place gush over him constantly, to the point it's degrading

 

^That would make me want to transfer.

[Yaz]

Does he have a lot of female employees? That could be an indicator that he's a bit of a power-tripper? If so, you not responding to him would make him angry - and you have no idea what he could do then. I'd voice my concern to HR and leave ASAP.

[TakingtheBlame]

Maybe I have the wrong attitude, but I've always accepted that an attractive girl will get some positive attention from any man that she encounters, including a superior (boss, manager, etc.) So unless a line gets crossed, I generally won't do anything to make things harder on everyone. Now, if someone is smacking my bum or making vulgar comments about my body parts, it's time to take action. But I think it's a bit overkill to assume any man, especially your boss, giving you any attention is crushing on you or trying to get in your pants or whatever. Maybe he's just being friendly to an attractive girl. I mean, I prefer my boss be pleasant to me rather than cold and distant just to avoid any untoward accusations for smiling at me.

[agatha]

I work very closely with the head of the department accross the hall, and he jokingly hits on me all the time. As far as I've known, he's got some luck with some of the staff (though he's married with 3 kids). I keep it professional, eventually joke back (like 'hey, quick, the janitor is just out, we may have 5 mins at the closet X D'), but keep a frosty coating. For that he calls me tomboy, and picks on me whenever I wear a dress or skirt. I don't feel harrassed, don't feel pressured or diminished by his compliments (if so, I would have let him know), and he has never touched me in any innapropriate way.

 

I'd suggest you keep professional, transfer if you feel it will get nasty, and only ask for a raise if you feel you deserve one (you don't want to be the turtle on the tree, honestly),but that's it.

[Yaz]

And get over yourself. Maybe you're misreading things because you get this type of attention all the time from other blokes?

[Shnoodle]

And get over yourself. Maybe you're misreading things because you get this type of attention all the time from other blokes?

 

I'm not even questioning if he is interested in me. It'd be a wasted effort for me to ask everyone else if the sky is blue, when all I have to do is look for myself.

 

My concern is the possible repercussions. I've seen plenty of posts from women who were debating flings with their boss, so similar situations can't be all that uncommon. I also see here many men take rejection brutally. I'm just not sure how to prepare myself in the event where I have to reject him, if it ever arises, and to figure out an honest way to soften the blow. "You are my boss" is really all I can think of at this point.

[Capricorn3]

Or would do your best to ignore it and hope they remain professional?

 

Then I hear about his reputation: a giant player, notorious for bragging about his escapades.

^^ THAT would make me want to transfer, if it's at all possible. He sounds like a real jerk (sorry). If it's not possible to transfer, then ignore him as much as possible and remain professional at all times. Any flirting from your side will be an encouragement to him and if you don't want his attention, then make sure you don't flirt.

 

Is it possible that he's married or in a relationship?

[oldenoughtoknow]

So you're not interested. I would be professional, courteous and polite, and avoid him whenever possible. If he does make a full on pass, reject him like you would anyone else - say you're involved, you have a BF, or that he's your boss, whatever.

 

It's also a good idea to start documenting any inappropriate interactions, just in case he doesn't take rejection well. Hopefully you won't have to use it, but if you do get mauled, or passed up for a promotion or fired at some point, just a steno pad with dates and inappropriate actions will go a long way in a sexual harassment case. Just sayin'.

[stuka80]

if i wasn't interested then personally i would ignore it, and if it starts to become too much of a bother then i would transfer or outright tell him i dont appreciate his unwelcomed attention.

 

betcha 100 bucks though that you'd give in to him.

[Shnoodle]

betcha 100 bucks though that you'd give in to him.

 

Only if I get hit on the head and have amnesia, forgetting that I have standards. Not all chicks like "bad boys".

 

Hopefully his interest will wane in time, there has to be more conquests for him out there.

I appreciate the advice from everyone.

[Yaz]

if i wasn't interested then personally i would ignore it, and if it starts to become too much of a bother then i would transfer or outright tell him i dont appreciate his unwelcomed attention.

 

betcha 100 bucks though that you'd give in to him.

 

I'm on that, too. I'd bet one thousand, probably more.