Meant To Be?

[chai714]

People often say, "if it's meant to be, then . .blah, blah, blah. I don't buy into the whole "meant to be" thing. Nothing in life is meant to be. People make decisions in their lives, and those decisions directly affect their life. You create your own path in life. If you choose to do one thing, it's because of the actions you took produced a desired outcome. Believing that certain things in life are "meant to be" is the same thing as believing in destiny, or fate (which I do not, obviously). For example, a self-made millionaire obviously made the right choices with his/her money. The same goes with love . . .at one point or another, one of the people MADE THE CHOICE to approach the other person, and his/her action(s) produced an effect on that other person (whether it was desired or not), rather than because the whole encounter was "meant to be." I just don't buy it. What are your opinions?

[Runesoul]

Well when i say that, I certainly dont mean that the hands of fate are forcing me to do things. However, there is some chemistry involved in love so.. to a degree, it is predetermined. I really can't control who I love. It's not like I wake up one day and think "I'm going to fall deeply in love with the first woman I see." If you have ever been with someone you really love, they just have a special something that makes you want them. Needless to say I do believe in the over used anecdote "love at first sight"

 

My 2 cents.

 

Runesoul

[sisterlynch]

You are right, it doesn't say or promise a thing! It was meant to be, so it is what it is...I guess it is just another way of saying he got what he deserved!!

 

There are so many of those in the English language. They are sort of like a cliche or an idiomatic expression, they may mean something to the person who says it, but they are only imagining that the person understood them correctly, which probably wasn't the case-- as what they said was meaningless!!

 

Where were they during high school English, huh? Practicing football or baseball, probably!!

 

I always wonder about the people who try and memorize everything that you say, so that they can repeat it to others later. It turns into a big game of telephone, where one person whispers into the ear of another one some little saying or something and on and on and at the end--someone tells everyone what they heard and it only vaguely resembles the way that it was originally stated.

[Blue Skittles]

I agree with you - somewhat.

 

I think we all make decisions and our actions affect what happens in life. Obviously - if I am 'meant to be a millionaire' I am not going to slack off and be a bum all my life thinking "i am meant to be a millionaire' and it will happen.

 

I DO believe things happen for a reason - and that people come into our lives for a reason. I don't think this is like anything to do with 'destiny' though. But like for example - recently (as in yesterday) I went through a break up - but I started thinking of things, and I realized that person came into my life for a reason - that reason being to help me get over some tough times and to make me realize there is a brighter side to life. Ya it sucks that we broke up but it was good at the time and like i said - there was that reason, u know?

 

This is an interesting topic.

[LittlePea]

Okay...I had this whole conversation with someone after my break up.

 

This is my take on it...

 

Maybe my view is different because I see it from a Christian perspective. But even if you aren't Christian, you may be able to understand my view.

 

I believe that there is a plan for all of us. After my ex broke up with me, I was like, Did he screw up the plan?! haha. Well I still believe that there is a plan.I believe that God has a plan already set up for us. He/She knows what is going to happen. That doesn't mean we don't have choices, but God does know what choices we will make. We have free will to make the choices we do, but God also knows what we will do and has a reason for all the experiences we go through. The choice to break up may not be ours, but the experience is something we go through for a reason. We have the choice to learn from our experiences. Life isn't easy. It's a journey. I like to think that there is something bigger our there protecting us...whether its God for me or something else for others. It reassures me because I know that this bigger force isn't trying to hurt me but only help me.

 

I really believe that everything happens for a reason. If I didn't believe this, I don't know what I would do because this single belief has gotten me through many hard times. I believe that if things are meant to be they will happen. And I believe this even after my breakup. Everything happens for a reason, and in its own time.

 

We may not understand it now, but in time it will make sense. Its been four weeks since my break up. For the longest time, I couldn't understand why everything has happened. But I took time to understand myself. And for the first time in a long time, I feel as though I have rediscovered myself.

 

Well that what I believe. Hope it helps.

[simply_r]

i believe that everything happens for a reason but that whole "meant to be" things doesnt make sense.......things that are in your control never happen if its meant to be, they happen because of certain choices you or someone else make.... You can't jus sit back and expect some "disguised force" to bring everything to you, in a way you have to get out there and make it happen for yourself!!

[Day_Walker]

Life is too complex to say that something is "meant to be". Think of all the different variables that would have to come together. It is a nieve to think that perfection can exist in a imperfect world. A wise man told me that we choose the person(s) we love based on our needs at that moment in time. Life is constantly changing this is why certain relationships dont last, all you can do is live life, and make the right decisions.

[Celadon]

Interesting topic!

 

What I dislike about "it was meant to be" -- in terms of love -- is that it confers some extra-special seal of approval on people who fall in love. It's hyper-romanticism, when the reality is that love is great but also lots of work.

 

"It was meant to be" does offer some help for those who can't quite accept their situation, I suppose, so it's not all useless. Like some people said, if it prompts you to think a different way about your situation (like, what were the good things about this relationship, even though we broke up) then it's beneficial.

 

Or, it's also a way to promise hope: Don't worry, someone out there is perfect for you; what's meant to be will be.

 

But it's hurtful when people throw it around as a way to say, Well, maybe you and your ex broke up because you weren't meant to be. That would be rude.

[sisterlynch]

Often times people will make predictions about what will happen, then their own prediction of the negative will make the negative happen and then they pretend that they didn't take part in the behavior that caused the other person pain, so they say it was meant to be to make it seem like that person had it coming all along.

 

We all try and make a positive existence for others and for ourself, we can't possibly see ourself the way that others see us, and for a good reason too. But as an adult we need to take on more criticism, more pain more denial and more frustration! WE need to turn into what we said we never wanted to be! Isn't that odd.

 

It was meant to be is like saying I don't know why we crashed, it was meant to be. Maybe if we didn't drink too much or stay up all night, then we wouldn't have been in the wrong lane or driving too slowly.

 

It was meant to be is like a way of saying I don't know!

[Roffler]

Everything happens for a reason

[musicmakr]

Yes, your actions and decisions CAN AND DO affect what was truly meant to be. Many years ago, I had the perfect mate bulldoze her way into my life. And I mean, FATAL attraction love. I have never felt so unashamed and loved by ANYONE including my family. This girl would giggle when I burped, farted, whatever. Her eyes lit up like I have never seen before when she looked into my eyes. She saw SOMETHING inside me that I'll never understand. In other words, she was absolutely balls out in love with me. I hurt her many many times yet she still kept pursuing me. I ignored her, mistreated her and acted like I didn't care yet she was still in love with me. Somehow, we managaged about 2 years together and she left. Blamed it all on me. I have no question that this was the one I was meant to be with. No question. My life-mate, soul mate, whatever you want to call it found me. If I knew how to love her back, we'd be married and I wouldn't be so friggin' miserable to this very day. So, if love ever finds you, treat it like the amazingly rare, beautiful thing it is. Never stop giving. Be gentle 'n tender with it because when it goes, there is truly no worse pain in the world.

[Celadon]

I hurt her many many times yet she still kept pursuing me. I ignored her, mistreated her and acted like I didn't care yet she was still in love with me.

 

Good lesson. Just curious - why did you treat her so badly when you were going out?

[MysteryBeauty]

You are so right..people's decisions are what affect their lives..but there is just a hint of fate, or luck. It's definetley 98% your effort, and two percent luck or fate . In this world you have to do whatever you can do and just hope it works out for the best..after all, if their wasn't fate, how come so many things don't turn out right even if the person worked so hard, and sometimes lightning strikes, and a person can get what he wants out of not much work..it's completley up to you on how you want your life to be, but there is should be just a little part of you that believes in fate and "meant to be", this phrase inspires mystery, and not knowing is what keeps us interested .