I Slept With My Ex Last Night

[kekep]

My ex and I met up for the first time last night to go see a movie. On the car ride there, he and I just talked about small stuff and laughed the whole time, not really discussing the relationship. During the movie we shared an arm rest and kept rubbing against each other. Afterwards, on the ride home my ex asked me if I was dating or had hooked up with anyone else, and I said I didn't feel very comfortable discussing it with him. He told me he needed to know for his peace of mind, so I said I had been chatting with someoen on the phone and that I had kissed another guy in the month since our breakup. He told me he was really jealous. I asked him the same thing and he said he hadn't done anything with anyone else nor did he want to, but he was interested in this girl he has always known who lives right around from him, but he knew it would never work out and that he had only thought of asking her out, but wasn't going to act on it. I told him he should go for it at least. we rode around for about an hour talking about the relationship, and he said he was still very confused because I looked so gorgeous tonight and all he wanted to do was kiss me, but he wasn't sure about us. I told him I understood and that I still wanted him, but I had accepted his decision about us. There was more to it than that, but anyway we went back to my house and hung out and watched the Olympics, both of us had a beer. Then I asked him to tell me what he missed about me, and he said "all the small stuff, like just talking to you, and laughing with you and I miss how you can hang with me and my friends and it's cool" and then he said he missed the physical stuff too about me. anyway, so i looked right into his eyes for about 5 seconds and he said "i know, i want to kiss you too. i just don't want to hurt you." and i said "you've got to stop thinking of our relationship in such a logical way. you think the only answer to our problems is to break up with me, but you're only using your head to think about this." and he said "you know, you're right." so anyway, i thought we were just going to kiss but we ended up having the best sex of our entire 3 year relationship last night. i mean, it was gooooood. but then, it really does hurt me that he wants me but not enough to make the commitment to me again. what do i do??

[NicHex]

only thing I can say is to talk to him. Get it out in the open. I mean, there is something there, but you need to both talk and see if its the same for each of you. I know when I left my ex, we still enjoyed sex at times, but we knew it was just for having sex and not for other reasons.

[abcd1234]

all the small stuff, like just talking to you, and laughing with you and I miss how you can hang with me and my friends and it's cool

He obviously still has strong feelings for you and misses being with you a lot, you need to show him that you feel the same!

 

you've got to stop thinking of our relationship in such a logical way. you think the only answer to our problems is to break up with me, but you're only using your head to think about this.

If this is the case then you need to let him know that he should be following his heart, no matter what his head may be telling him.

 

I dont know how you can do this, you just have to show him that you still care for him and that you want the relationship to work. Tell him that you want to take it slowly if it makes him more comfortable about the commitment and then you can slowly start to build your relationship back up.

 

Good luck and i hope this helps you!

abcd1234

[smiles314]

Hey!! RUNN AWAY dont walk but RUN....

If he doesnt want to committ to you, but still is ok with having sex id seriously just get out of there. He shouldn't be able to have you that way, unless its mutual.. And i'm so passionate about this particular topic because i did the same thing and elt it happen for 2 years after our break up. In the end, he never gave me what I wanted no matter how many times he said he was going or he wanted to.. And he ended up sleeping wiht someone else after those years we spent fooling around, droopped me in a heartbeat, and is now with ehr as we speak. I realize that no one guy is the same,...and ur case could be very different. Just take my story, and think real carefully...because I got so messed up over doing that with him in the end and suffereed badly..

 

. GOod luck...

[Zipp]

I think you should proceed cautiously. It sounds like you both still have strong feeling for one another, and that can be a good and bad thing. I have slept with my ex a couple of times since we broke up (a little over a month ago) and it has made us closer but the situation is a little awkward since we aren't together. It's not a casual thing for either one of us, but he isn't ready for us to be together right now and I think a break would do us some good, but we can't completely let go. Just keep in mind the reasons that you guys broke up and don't let yourself get completely sucked in, I know how difficult that can be. Just don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with, and that may change from day to day.

[Jake212]

What do you want from him? Do you want the relationship? I dont think the whole limbo thing is a good idea. I once had an ex that after be broke up, it was mutual, and we still had sex for a month after that, it was the best we ever had, BUT we knew there was no way for a relationship. After that month we started dating other people and eventually stop doing that, to this day he is one of my best friends. What we did is laid down boundries, we knew there was going to be no relationship and if one or the other called off the sleeping together the other would agree, no hard feelings (we actually talked about it). You need to know what you want from him and tell him that, if you guys want to get back together I say go for it, but if he dosn't, this is going to hurt even more than before and I dont want to see that happen to you.