My Ex Called Me This Morning!

[Gilgamesh]

After about 3 weeks of no contact, my ex called me, it was a strange call, She asked me If i knew a girl that went to the University, she sounded really upset, I said no, she said that some girl was "dissing" my ex there, telling everyone that I had given lots of money to my her, and a bunch of other stuff, I told her I didnt talk or know any femle that goes to that university.

 

Its kind of funny she is worried about her reputation, yet she brought all this upon herself.

 

1st she makes up a story that she was dating someone else just so I wouldnt keep trying to get back with her, but that backfires, because everyone believes it, and shes worried everyone thinks shes a slut.

 

2nd She would insult me and instigate arguments by sms messages, which I replied to, what a fool i was fell for the trap i did, she kept all those messages (of course only mine), so that she could show to her mother and brothers (one side of an argument that she started on purpose) to make me look bad. and for her to save face in front of them because they used to simpethize with me. but that backfired also, because her daughter picked up her cell and read all those messages, and started questioning her mother.

 

Now this new one. I guess Karma does exsist. she did a couple other things that were self destructive also, for example she sent all my gifts back that I had given her over the years, and then told her family that I had asked for all that stuff back making me look like some kind of monster, again, in an attempt to make her look better in the eyes of her family , but now they have No TV set, and the kids cant watch their cartoons and stuff. talking about being selfish.

 

I dont see us ever getting back together, I dont know why I still "love" her, shes a lier, shes backstabbing, and inconsiderate, and self centered, I guess i am in love with the way she used to be. 4 years of the most honest caring and loving person you can ever know. its still incredible that a person can do a 180 like this. Its just plain unbelievable to me, that "this" woman could change into what she is now. incredible.

 

This call was just a few minutes ago, I hope this doesnt make me feel like crap again, it probably will, I was half hoping that in the period we had without talking that she would start thinking over what she had done, but now she continues looking for excuses to be angry at me, so that she doesnt have to feel the guilt and to justify what she did.

 

But I did slip in that i was leaving the country, and didnt know when ill be back and that I got my divorce from my ex (separated 15 years ago). She said that she hopes I find a woman that will love me because I deserve it (weird) I told her, you know, breaking up with you isnt what really hurt me, it was trusting you and having faith in you, and having you do what you did to me that was painful, I also told her I dont have problems finding woman, and that you once told me I love too much, well thats the way I am, I have no problem giving myself fully to the person I love. she was kind of quiet, and changed the subject.

 

At one point in the conversation I told her, "all this stuff thats happening to you, you did to yourself". I was the calm one all through the conversation, she was hyper, I think i did ok, but it still hurts.

 

When will this pain ever leave my soul?

 

 

 

 

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[tmills0011607306452]

Hang in there man. You're doing the right thing. My ex was continuing to string me along with her game, and finnally I quit. I'm done. I am tired of hurting. Yes I love her, and I always will. But I want to be happy! I want me to return back to me! My happiness is now a priority now. F-her. Yeah we love our exs very much but the bottom line is that they continue to destroy us and we let them. I think that is the game. you'll have an awesome time on your trip! And yes you'll have fun! They live their own lives now. Let them destroy themselfves.

[juno]

This siuation has become full of things that made it hard to cope with. Even if u both had the chance to get back together the memory would backfire both. I think its time to move on. U know one become dependant on a person to a certain level. (she is a loving person etc.). I think it creates some sort of chemichal changes and conections in our brain that is comparable with alcohol or drugs. The withdrawal period is painful but necesary. keep still man u are not alone here.

[paul475]

Her offenses aren't what concern you. It's the guilt that you could be such a fool, that you had missed these qualities in yourself and attracted and courted a person who has them all in loud, living color.

 

I know how hard it is to cope with this guilt and to want to project it onto everyone and everything but yourself -- and that still not be enough to make the pain subside. And then self loathing and more pain.

 

To avoid this happening again, identify and inventory your resentments and fears and bring to light the same errors you are seeing in your ex. Yes, she lied. Yes, she deceived you. Yes, she is a manipulative control freak. Yes, she is shallow.

 

Yes, she has low self esteem.

 

Find these qualities in yourself, if you can. If you can't, don't worry. At some point you will be able to see them. Once you do, you can choose to be different. Consciously. The content that represents this woman and all like her, will evaporate as if they were never there to begin with.

[Gilgamesh]

At first I thought this was going to set me back into depression, but actually I am feeling a bit good, because i was able to say some things i wanted her to know, without me calling her, she still trying to feel important by making a big fuss to everyone like Iam still after her.

 

let me re state that differently, she is very self conscience, and believes that people think badly of her for what she did to me, (basically true) so she is making all this fuss about someone or the other, in other words she wants everyone to think Iam obsessed with her. . Why? its simple, If she was so bad to me, then why am i still "after" her, she must not have been that bad right?

 

so she does all this, and me, I tell her iam going away on a trip and dont know when iam coming back, burst that little bubble of hers. so this is actually some kind of relief.

[Aly]

Gil, I so know what you mean by the whole, "still in love with someone selfish and backstabbing" bit. I still love my ex, but he's made up lies as to why we broke up, and won some of my friends over to his side. I think they feel this need to justify breaking up with us, and they cant find enough fault to, so they try to turn us into these mighty morphin evil ex's who so deserved to be dumped or something, LoL. But yea, being stuck in love with someone is a pain...I'm kinda learning to shove it to the back of my mind, but it's still there. Oh well...vive la dumped!