I'm about to be CUT-OFF.

[Dougie_D]

I'm EXTREMELY worried. I'm 30 yrs old w/ barely any work under my belt. My parents have helped me all my life financially.

I've only had ONE job. Lasted FOUR years and the most I made was 9.35 an hour.

They have always said "We'll take care of you, don't worry...follow your dreams, etc..."

Well, now they are telling me they are getting sick of lending me money. I'm actually GLAD they don't want to help me, but the REALITY is...I'm SCREWED!

I'm so clueless!

[Mercurial Girl]

Well, first you need to get a job.

[Messiah]

Why exactly haven't you been working? Has the convenience of having someone take care of you kept you from going out there and getting a job? If so, this is probably a really good push for you. What kind of job do you want to get, and what's your education look like?

[renaissancewoman101]

Did this just come out of the blue? Or did you have a disagreement with them and they got upset with you and sprung this on you?

 

Talk to them and see if they can cut you off slowly (aka wean you off).

 

Suddenly cutting you off, esp in an economy like this, would be bad for all parties involved.

[Dougie_D]

I don't think I'll be COMPLETELY cut-off but I know they are not giving me as much as they are giving me now.

 

Yes, getting a job is the first thing I need to get. That's actually the real reason why I even left to come to LA. To get my DREAM job. To work for a RECORD LABEL.

 

Problem. I don't have much experience. I'm basically an intern at a small artist management company. But NO one pays me. They barely have money, that's why they have interns.

 

I have 2 college degrees. I just went to school just party and have fun. I failed most of my classes. I honestly never cared.

 

You don't have to have a college education to be successful in the music industry. No one is hiring though. People are making less money.

[Capricorn3]

If you can't find work in your dream job, then you have to start looking out for anything and everything that's available to you. No matter how small, take what you can get. There is absolutely no reason for a 30 year old adult to still be living off their parents (imo). Also, if you're struggling in the dating world, not working will be a very big drawback as it shows lack of ambition/laziness, which is off-putting to most people (male and female alike).

[Dougie_D]

Where am I suppose to apply? I was lucky to even have my FIRST job in the first place. About 5 months later, my co-workers admitted that they tried to get me fired because I was "slowing" them down. I was a freaking CART GUY! I was a cart guy at Sam's Club for about 2 1/2 years and then moved inside in the Produce dpt.

[Jetta]

Okay first thing you do is call your former employer and see if they hire you back. If that doesn't work, get in with temporary organizations, you can gain experience and get a better rate of pay.

 

Good luck. You'll probably thank them later but in the meantime keep volunteering at your "dream job" and get a permanent job that pays the bills.

[Ariel85]

I blame your parents for this. They enabled and infantilized you your whole life to not work, and then at 30, they expect you to go get a job and be independent? Crappy, to say the least. Shameful, really.

 

But, did you think you'd live your whole life off their dime? And they're not lending you money - they fully support you, right?

 

Well, I think at your age, you need to think like a 22-year old, and start in an entry level position.

 

Were you slow in the cart department at Sams? Was that legitimate?

 

Try to get a job flipping burgers, or being a cashier at 7-11.

[MissIndigo]

You mention that you have an internship at a small company. Even if unpaid, that is something, and your best resource right now to tap into for help to get on track to get a job in the area you want to be working in.

 

What you can do, and should do, is approach someone there for some straight dope about the state of the field, and how other interns have typically advanced from that company to others. At the same time, express how you value your current experience. Ask your contact who else they might know who is good to talk to, and keep building a network from there. Your goal is to find out what you can do with the background you have.

 

Even doing this should show your family that you are taking initiative to continue to develop your career in the music industry, and it will help you gauge how feasible it is for you to find further opportunity in it.

 

Honestly, I think it is great that you have had parents that have tried to be supportive. I think though you need to take some time to reflect on why you did some of the things you said you did, like not caring about college. Your parents are not necessarily to blame that you are in the situation you are in career-wise. That has been up to you the whole time, and it will be up to you to move forward. You must formulate a plan that combines how you are approaching people in your industry and at the same time a way to pay your bills even if it means working a low-level job. Your parents want to see some initiative on your part, so take responsibility and show it to them, and if you feel you can, even ask for their help in setting some timelines and goals.

[Dougie_D]

My parents don't want me to get a "low-level" job. They said it will depress me and I will be miserable, which will happen. I completely stopped "playing music" when I got my first job. I was SO miserable. I slept 14 hours and just went to work all day. I became even LESS MOTIVATED. Also, my parents feel like that they wasted money on me if I end up getting a crappy job. They always thought that have a degree meant something.

 

Managers get paid by the ARTISTS. An artist manager usually gets 10 -15% of all the revenue. None of our bands are signed and their average income a month is probably 500. You do the math. It's garbage.

 

Everyone in this biz is DIY. I never learned the value of money so I have never been that motivated to start my own company. That's the ONLY way to make money in music.

[Ariel85]

Do you live with your parents? Do you date, have friends?

[Dougie_D]

I live with roommates (friends maybe?) And I I've been "trying" to date. I have lived in LA for about a year.

[Bartok]

If you want to work for a record label, Nashville is a hell of a lot more affordable than LA is.

 

And you're at that point where you just need to take anything you can get. Find something you're good at (even if it isn't your dream) and find jobs in that area. While working that job, keep looking for a way into the recording industry. Don't depend solely on job applications (especially through the internet), if you want a way into the entertainment industry you have to know people. Try to make as many contacts as possible, even if it means calling or emailing people you've never met. Networking is the key. Show people that you're a hard worker and that you're passionate about it and they will tend to help you find jobs, even if it's a job at the bottom. Yeah, it sucks, but it will get you contacts and give you the opportunity to really prove yourself and move up the ladder.

[MissIndigo]

You are going to have to change your mindset to get out from underneath your family. It is troubling for me to read what your parents don't want you to do, maybe even to the point of discouraging you from something--you are going to have to make up your mind that whatever steps you take going forward are NOT going to make you miserable. You said that you felt you never learned the value of money? Doesn't realizing this perhaps signal to you that you want to, and maybe you're wanting to take some steps to learn?

 

I say this because I am older than you and I had well-meaning parents as well that have supported me through a LOT. However, in recent years, I made the mistake of letting some of their biases substitute for my own thoughts and what I knew was best for me, and I am paying the price heavily for it right now. That's not to say that I'm ungrateful for their assistance--it is quite the opposite--but because I never broke out of following their mindset and instead forging my own path they don't know that another way could be good for me. I am now experiencing a lot of emotional pain on top of the pain of job loss, because I am overcoming anger with myself for not taking my own initiative.

 

Does your family even begin to understand your business? I know mine don't understand what I'm in (they admit it), but to keep throwing money at me does not solve anything. It's up to me to adjust my lifestyle and salvage my career any way that I can. Even if I have to start at the bottom with my freaking doctorate degree it won't feel like it's at the bottom because I've taken the responsibility to make something happen that I KNOW I want and need.

[Dougie_D]

I've lived in Tennessee my whole life up until last year. (29 years) Went to college in Murfreesboro (20 mins from Nashville) I have LOTS of FRIENDS who live in Nashville, but I just don't want to live/work there. I like country but I DON'T KNOW country music or even christian music. I'm more of an INDIE/MAJOR pop/rock/alternative/metal guy. It's not a good fit.

 

I know EXACTLY what I'm good at. The problem is, no one is willing to pay. I want to be in the A&R department. I would love to be a scout, but A&R are becoming non-existent.

 

I have considered myself as a Free-lance A&R guy. I have "tipped" artists to numerous labels. I know for a FACT that at least 1 label SIGNED a band because of me "tipping" them ... but that's because the label actually "thanked me"...Problem is, the label doesn't care to give me any "credit" or pay-out...such as a finders fee. I completely understand why they won't. Even if I was "attached" to the band, the label will turn around a find a band/artist just as good with no one else involved. It's called being "carved out".

 

My parents have NO UNDERSTANDING how the music industry works. My father is a HUGE STATUS guy. Even if I was making over 50,000 dollars a year and my job was a JANITOR...he would totally dis-approve. It's not really the money to my family. It's the STATUS. I've told this story before but I'll say it again. My dad tells my co-worker (when I was a cart-guy)..."What do you think about my loser son? Who is a 24 year old CART guy?"

My co-worker later told me how my dad is the biggest jerk he has ever met...Agree! Remember, I actually had a JOB that time!

 

Nothing is ever really good enough for my parents it seems.

[Mercurial Girl]

It also seems that there really is no where for you to go in this industry, not in the way you are approaching it at least. It's time to put on your big boy pants and get a career with a future, and more importantly get something that PAYS. Stop getting mommy and daddy to foot the bill and their opinion of you will no longer be an issue as you wont have to answer to them at all, then you can be happy being a janitor or whatever else you choose to do. But seriously, you need to get on with working towards a real career.

[Nearbot]

Don't worry about what your parents think and just find a job you can make money at, while still doing the internship on the side. Hopefully, you'll get a break eventually, but you can't just wait and rely on that to happen. Your parents are cutting you off anyway, so why does what they say matter? Thank them for supporting you so far and now go out and get that entry level job. Browse the heck out of Craigslist. You won't be miserable. Don't JUST go to work. You live in LA! There's sooo much to do there.

 

What I want to do doesn't pay much either. I just graduated college, and I work two jobs, one at a casual restaurant and another at a pet-sitting/dog-walking company . But I do wildlife rehabilitation, habitat restoration, environmental education, etc. on the side when I can, even taking off work when large projects come up because it's what I love. However, I still suck it up and work at the restaurant and walk dogs to pay my bills. No shame in that.

[MissIndigo]

That's terrible what your dad said. Terrible, referring to you as a "loser son".

 

You say that nothing is ever really good enough for your parents it seems, but is your situation good enough for you?? That's the mindset you need, and if where you are is not good enough for you, then you--and only you--really have the power to change that. Since you know exactly what you're good at, you need to ID what may be transferrable out of what experiences you have had and try to apply it. Never mind what your family might think (easier said than done, I know). I know you may want their support (maybe?) one way or another, but you will be stronger for growing up and away emotionally.

[Ariel85]

You have a much better shot of breaking into the music biz in Nashville that you do LA. LA has big labels, and that's about it. Beyond that, it's not a place to break into the industry.

[Dougie_D]

I doubt going to Nashville will help. When I came to LA...I HAD NO contacts, no place to live, no intern/job. Nothing. I lived in my car for awhile too! I had NEVER been to LA! Everything was new to me. I felt like I've survived in a way. Luckily I did have the Financial backing to KEEP GOING.

Within ONE year I have had 2 internships, been on 2 tours as a tour manager, and have made contacts with "big label" type of people.

Honestly, being away from my parents and old friends are a good thing. I just can't afford things by myself. Just applying to a part-time job devalues myself. That will create even MORE LOW SELF-ESTEEM!

[Capricorn3]

Just applying to a part-time job devalues myself. That will create even MORE LOW SELF-ESTEEM!

Not sure if I understand this correctly, but WHY would applying for a job create "even more low self-esteem"?? Surely it would have the opposite effect? I would think living off your parents at age 30 would be far more reason to "create low self-esteem and devalue yourself". What am I missing here?

[Dougie_D]

I mean applying to job that most teenagers get. I even had trouble getting a part time job at the age of 24...as a Cart guy. People made fun of me. I'm 30 yrs old w/ 2 degrees. I should be somewhat valuable, right? Experience overrides degrees in the real world. I can't even get an entry job! Or even a waiter job! You think any less of 8 dollars an hour is going BOOST my self confidence?

[Bartok]

You keep saying "no" to all the advice you're being given, I have to wonder why you posted in the first place?

 

You want to get into the music industry. Nothing wrong with this. But the only experience you've got is as an intern - also nothing wrong with this. Lots of people gain experience through unpaid positions to gain entry into industries like this. In fact, you say you already made contacts with "big label" people. This is VERY good. I don't know a great deal about the music industry, but I know when looking for film jobs I came accross lots of positions for recording studios and the like, so I know for a fact that starting your own company is NOT the only way to make money.

 

Bottom line is that your first priority should be to SURVIVE. You have to make money somehow and you have to live frugally. Get a part time job along with your internship. Does not matter what this is as long as you can pay the bills.

 

At your internship, get to know as many people as you can. Work hard. Go above and beyond the call of duty. Arrive early, leave late. Get people's contact info. If the place is as small as you claim, many of these people will move on to bigger and better things... Then BAM, you have a contact that could lead to a better job for you, too. Also, use your "big label" contacts. Email them. Call them. Invite them out for coffee after work. Get to know them. Several years down the road you will have a contact book full of receptionists that became managers and assistants that became producers. If you are offered a paying job that is also in the music industry, TAKE IT. The moment you have an opportunity to make money in the industry you want to work in is the moment you can quit the part time job you hate and focus 100% on your dream. Take any music industry job you are offered, you can't afford to wait around for the perfect position (which will only come after years of hard work). While working there, continue to make contacts and get to know as many people as possible and keep your ears open for other opportunities through these contacts. Be sure to let people know what you really want to do, what your goals are - this is very important so you don't get pigeonholed into a set of jobs you really don't want in the long term. Prove you're a hard worker who's passionate about making it in the industry and try to move yourself into a position that would naturally progress into the position you REALLY want.

 

I'm not going to tell you to "get a job with a future" because I'm not the kind of person to tell people to give up on their dreams - after all, I'm chasing my own. I want to be a film/TV picture editor and I'm currently working as an assistant editor at a reality post house. I don't want to be an assistant long term. I don't want to work reality TV. The pay totally blows. But this is where the low level jobs are - and there's ALWAYS room at the bottom. I'm making contacts, I'm gaining experience for my resume, I'm making steps toward my dreams - which could take years to achieve and won't be an easy road, but the ball is definitely rolling.

 

All you need to make this happen is passion for what you want to do and a foot in the door - which you already have through your internship. Stop saying "but... but...", stop worrying about what your parents think, be proactive, and just go out and make it happen.

 

EDIT: I also have two degrees. Including a MFA in film production. The general life experience I gained from school was very valuable, but the degree itself? Nobody cares except my family. Don't expect your degrees to carry you anywhere, especially not with the way the economy is, and definitely not in the entertainment industry.

[Dougie_D]

Well, to be honest, it's the whole FRUGAL lifestyle that scares me. I just can't do that. I don't even KNOW how to do that?!? I don't like being at my house all day or even at one place. If I do, I'll just sleep and that's not very healthy. I eat OUT pretty much every day. I do that because A. I don't like cooking or cleaning B. I need an excuse not to be in my house, I get extremely bored. I go to bars or just cruise in my car for awhile. I probably spend at least 100 dollars a week. Having money allows me to do things. I go OUT to the movies all the time. Having less money means not doing anything. That just seems so miserable. My roommates can't/don't go out because they don't have the money to spend. This is the LIFE I FEAR. I think I will have to go that route and I'm going to be depressed every single day until I get the job I want. I don't think I'll make it in this world if I can't find a part-time job that's going to equal my current lifestyle. That's the difficult part! Ugh... TIME is not on my side.