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Should I send him this?

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Dear A,


I’m writing to let go of a lot of things.


The truth is, yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks. I was very suicidal. Googling “least painful suicide methods” type suicidal. After everything already falling apart, I walked home from work to be assaulted by a thunderstorm and had my umbrella bend in the wind, hail hit me in the face, etc. I cried the whole way home, wondering where God’s mercy was, because all he seemed to send me was cruelty. So I got home, started my research, cried some more.


And I started thinking. As much as I thought I was a snake, I think you’re an even bigger one. You came in my life, said you loved me, and I gave you everything. And I mean it. Everything. My body, my soul, my life, my money, my thoughts – everything. I was there for you and loved you unconditionally through thick and thin. Every time you broke down, I was there.


I think both of us refused to see you were cheating on K. We justified it til we were blue in the face. We’re in love, it’s ok, etcetc. But now, looking back, you were having sex outside of your relationship without her knowledge and consent. That’s cheating. And I truly hope you have the guts to tell her before you get back with her. She deserves to know who you really are before she recommits her life to you.


As for me? Something broke through for me this morning. I am disgusted with you. Disgusted that the person I loved with all my heart ended up being such a disappointment. The songs I wrote for the band (namely You) seem like they could apply to you. I loved you, I truly did, but you * * * * ed with me pretty badly and left me a pile of suicidal * * * * . I did not deserve to be left by you. No * * * * ing way you’ll ever be able to tell me I deserved any of this. I was a great girlfriend. I * * * * ed up once in a while but what you did was horrible. You had no idea what you wanted. And two girls got really hurt.


I’m also disgusted you haven’t texted, called, emailed, nothing. You’ll “give me the space I need”? No, you’re giving yourself the easy way out. You’re acting as if everything is fine, as if you’re not hurt. I still had your fan pages liked the first day and I saw you post * * * * about zombies and giving away your albums for free. You seem fine through this! And I’ve lost a LOT of respect for you.


You were my boyfriend, my best friend, my bandmate. And now I lost threefold. So thank you for that. You’ve taught me important lessons about trust.


I am disgusted.


If you want to talk, you have tonight, and that’s it. Go on pretending life is fine if that’s what you want.



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You have the right to be very pissed off right now and express it to him, however I wouldn't tell him you're suicidal. If the purpose of it is to send a guilt trip to get him back, then no don't send it either. It's not a good idea to send this anyways as it will probably set you back, but you do have the right to be pissed.


He had no right to use you as a rebound to get over his ex. At the same time, it takes two people to cheat. You knew the situation you were getting into also. As did I when I was in the same situation. We took a risk, and as that risk had every possibility. It almost always inevitably backfires hun.


If you need to send something, just leave out the suicidal parts. You should know you don't want this person back because of his behavior. He had no care in the world for you or your feelings. Although you may have been in love, because he was still attached to his ex, he had no business using you like this. So you have the right to be pissed off. If you send it he probably won't respond. All being angry is going to do is probably cause your own anger to grow as well. So I wouldn't send it. Just move on and start working on yourself.


It would make you look weak but I really don't think it matters. I always recommend for a week you do whatever you feel you have to. But ONLY a week. Cry, breakdown, call in sick, do whatever you need to but try not to contact them.

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For the love of god don't send that. You come accross as bitter, needy, whiney, and desperate. Plus, once i read you'd screwed arouind on his girlfriend, well Karma's a * * * * * . You got what you deserved.



That's a bit harsh.

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Eocsor, we were in a relationship with her consent. But yes, I see your point.


thank you all. I won't send it.


You said "But now, looking back, you were having sex outside of your relationship without her knowledge and consent." How is that consent?

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The sex was outside of her consent, yes. I've agreed with that. I was stating that the relationship wasn't. She was ok with that. We took it further.


Well, then I'm sorry, but you got what was coming to you. Try to take it as a learning experience and move on from it. No good ever comes from cheating and if they are willing to cheat with you, they will cheat on you.

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He just wants you to understand that you did cheat with him, and it was most likely the wrong choice. I think you know that now. It was also morally wrong on your end. That's all he is getting at. Just learn and don't put yourself in that situation again. The problem here was you were probably acting out of love and passion. He was acting out of want and desire. OR chasing a feeling he hasn't had for a long time. I'm not going to persecute you for what you did. A lot of times one person will chase the other or push things further. That's what happened in my relationship. I told her from the beginning this isn't right and you need to break up with your boyfriend before this can go further.


What happens when you do this is it creates resentment in the new relationship. You almost force them to move on, because you want to feel secure in your new relationship with them. I pretty much did it subconciously through attracting her once I fell.


It's a lot to deal with right now, but don't look at his feelings or what might have been there. Look at his actions. He cheated with you, what kind of man is that? He obviously has issues, and his relationship that he just went back to will probably fail again. Just don't fall for it anymore.

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