Would you do this to your friend?

[Jaydedgirl]

So heres my story, I met this one friend on fb,shes really sweet and we chatted alot. We have alot in common and both been betrayed by friends in the past. So one day while I was walking in the mall, she spotted me and came up to me, she hugged me and was really sweet. I thought to myself wow she seems like a good person and a good friend. We chatted for a while and then she said we should go for lunch sometime and I agreed. So we set up a date to meet for lunch and have some girl time. It will be our first time actually hanging out since we only spoke on fb and that day she bumped in to me at the mall.It was a Saturday and we said to meet at one pm. So I was getting dressed when I got a message from her asking if 2pm would be fine since she had something to take care off at the mall. So i replied and said thats fine,meet u at 2.

 

So I arrive at the mall and then she calls me at 2,so I told her Ill be waiting near a store ..so then I see her walking towards me with another friend of hers. They had shopping bags with them so they did some shopping. Anyways I kind of was sad that she brought her friend along. as we walked she said she needs to get something from a store for her mum so we went tot the store..and I got stuck walking behind them,I felt like a tag. They both kept talking about their own stories and kept laughing as if it was so funny. They talked about people I didnt know obviously and kept laughing.

 

So anyways her friend decided to go after we finished at the store,they both hugged for the longest time and she departed. So anyways my friend lets call her Betty.. apologized to me and said stuff like "oh im completely sorry about that,its just that I havent seen my best friend for so long and just wanted to catch up,hope u dont mind?' and ofcourse i replied "no its ok really". I was being nice since it was my first time hanging out with her. So I was starving,so hungry and was ready for lunch. We went to a restaurant,sat down and I was surprised that she only ordered starters so I ordered starters as well. We never ended up ordering a main meal or should i say a "lunnch" since she was too full...because she ate before with her best friend. They spent the whole morning together shopping and eating. So she planned to have lunch with her rather than me..knowing we set a date to meet for lunch not snacks. I was boiling inside but i just sat calmly and pretended to be ok.

 

She kept talking the whole time and i even had to take the starters home since I couldnt eat it coz she kept talking. She took hers home coz she was already full. I thought she was a really nice,sweet,genuine person. Honestly i thought i found myself a good friend. I cant believe she did that.. and afterwards we both went home.. and she was like"oh it was nice meeting you"..

 

By the end of it I was tired, disappointed and my head ached for the longest time..

Why meet for lunch when you apparently had something to take care of? I still talk to her on fb but I doubt I want to meet her again.. I might as well go to the mall myself!

What do u think of this situation, am i being too selfish?

[stuka80]

nah you're not being selfish, she definitely was though and also self centered.

[ProtestTheHero]

I just think you are making too much of the situation.

 

Info:

You met her through FB.

This was the first planned meeting.

She bumps into her best friend she hasn't seen in a while. She has more chemistry with this person since she knows them longer, so I can understand how someone could want to spend time with the best friend before getting to know me. She calls to push the time back an hour. Fine.

 

She orders starters, which is irrelevant to what you order since the choice is yours. She ate earlier, but this is more about hanging out/getting to know each other than eating similar portions or having the exact same appetite at the time.

 

I just think that people need to be a lot more laid back and flexible. If it turns out she routinely blows you off, I'd just stop talking to her. No big deal. You didn't know each other real well anyways.

[Case_1983]

You're overacting. It sounds like you had very high expectations of this meeting. Why couldn't you eat your food because she was talking? If i was meeting someone as a friend i wouldnt expect them to give me their full undivided attention and not eat anything in case it would ruin their appetitie for lunch.

[Jaydedgirl]

The point is she planned to meet me for lunch and she told me she had something to take care of,she never told me that shes meeting her best friend. She didnt bump into her best friend coz they went shopping and she told me she did some catching up with her. It just felt odd that if i knew she was going for lunch with her best friend I couldve ate earlier as well.. and since it was our first meeting I didnt want to order something big while she had starters..if u know what i mean. ANyways the starters werent eaten much.

[Jaydedgirl]

You're overacting. It sounds like you had very high expectations of this meeting. Why couldn't you eat your food because she was talking? If i was meeting someone as a friend i wouldnt expect them to give me their full undivided attention and not eat anything in case it would ruin their appetitie for lunch.

 

Im not that kind of person to eat a big lunch even if my friend doesnt want to eat..

[BlueMilk]

I kinda agree with the above posts and think you're overreacting. Yea, she was inconsiderate in not telling you her friend would be there. But considering her friend left soon after it could very well be that the friend insisted on eating and insisted on taking up more time than 'Betty' had to offer; Betty couldn't say no cause its her BFF and they haven't seen each other in ages. You don't know the full situation.

 

I still don't understand why you weren't eating while she was talking - that's usually the perfect time for me to eat (they can yap and I can listen while chewing since I am starving.) But considering you ordered a starter because she did (not wanting to show you have an appetite I'm guessing) then refused to eat it while she chatted (because you don't want her to see you eat, I'm guessing?) it seemed like a lot of the problems that you had that day was more due to your own insecurities rather than the girl's inconsideration.

 

Not all first impressions are the best and sometimes life throws us a curve ball. You're nitpicking on minor things when you said yourself that everything else about the girl is perfectly fine and sweet. It feels like you're finding any excuse or flaw to grasp onto. So let it go, relax and don't put so much weight on how others may perceive you, life is too short for that.

[Teaday]

Im not that kind of person to eat a big lunch even if my friend doesnt want to eat..

 

Why not? I'm sure she wouldn't have minded if you ate food...you were at a restaurant.

[Seraphim]

I think you are expecting too much for first meeting. Also too people can have more than one friend and see more than one friend at a time. You have to realize too her best friend is going to mean more to her than someone she just met. Think about it, if your best friend threw you over for someone she just met on the internet you would be PEEVED, right? I think you would be far happier if you spent more time enjoying situations than trying to control them. You can not control other people.

[Batya33]

I think you are expecting too much for first meeting. Also too people can have more than one friend and see more than one friend at a time. You have to realize too her best friend is going to mean more to her than someone she just met. Think about it, if your best friend threw you over for someone she just met on the internet you would be PEEVED, right? I think you would be far happier if you spent more time enjoying situations than trying to control them. You can not control other people.

 

I agree with this. and if I were that hungry and we had planned to meet for a meal I would order a meal. Apparently she talked your ear off so there should have been plenty of time to eat. I think you only ordered starters and didn't eat because you were still feeling offended/sulky by her unreliability (I wouldn't like that behavior either but I think I would have gotten past it faster than you -life's too short for small stuff like that- or I would have made an excuse and left).