ferna3069 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 my ex accidently send me a text message eight days ago. or so.i also notice she signed in our joint account the same day she accidently texted me. anyways she told my friend to contact her if i wanted to. so we talked and to be honest it felt akward. i send her a message the next day. and she doesnt answer. i send her a message asking what the password for the joint account is. and also an email telling her that i know it was akward and that if we wanted to get threw it we can just send emails every ones in a while . i sign in to my myspace today and notice that she took off all our pics of our myspace and hers. and she wrote in the statues moving on.i havent messaged her after this. but the pain is killing me even more. it hurt so bad. Link to comment
dramallama Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 ferna, you know it won't do you any good to keep in contact. Look at yourself. You're only giving yourself new information to analyse. You know it will do yourself more harm than good to email each other even every once in a while. Accept that it's over. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 i know its over. but i dont get why text me and lie about wanting to talk to me then she does this. isnt that just childish? Link to comment
dramallama Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Yes, it is childish. But you wouldn't be in this mess if you had chosen to ignore it the accidental text in the first place. You can only control yourself. Make a vox to stick with NC UNLESS she comes to you with a clear indication that she wants to get back together with you. Accidentally texting or getting a friend to pass along a message only screams that she feels guilty, not that she wants to get back together. When someone wants to be with you, they will NOT leave or up to fate or put it in the hands of the dumpee or anyone other than themselves to make it happen. Not a mutual friend to pass along a message. They will make sure that they hand deliver the message to you. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 i know drama llama i really dont want to hear that i just need advice i feel down Link to comment
dramallama Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 I am giving you advice, aren't I? I'm trying to help you, man. You feel bad because you keep being in contact with her. Chin up, though. If you take my advice and stick with it you will feel better soon. But feeling bad right now is just the consequence of staying in touch with an ex. The expecations are not the same as yours so dumpees invariably end up getting hurt. Stop putting your hand on the stove and you'll be fine. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 i know drama llama i really dont want to hear that i just need advice i feel down You don't want advice, you want someone to tell you what you are doing is right. How many threads must you make before you realize that all this contact is not good? Contact her if you want to? Uhh, yeah, no thanks. Man up, and don't contact her. This is one of those cases that's pretty black and white..you msgd her twice and emailed her..how much more self-inflicted pain must you endure? Forget myspace, forget her stupid "statuses". I hate social networking so much when it comes to breaking up, I'm thrilled I don't have facebook anymore. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 to be honest i didnt want to hear that what i was doing was right. i wanted to hear something like. it will get better. every one makes mistakes just make sure not to do it any more. something like that. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Hugs Ferna. I think her most recent behaviour is about power - especially power over you. She initiated the contact, got you hooked in a bit, and then used her power to call the shots regarding the relationship. I don't think you should take her behaviour personally, she will act up no matter what you do. She is a very immature person. You know, you deserve someone so much nicer than that. Aren't there some nice girls at your gym. You really could do better. Link to comment
dramallama Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 to be honest i didnt want to hear that what i was doing was right. i wanted to hear something like. it will get better. every one makes mistakes just make sure not to do it any more. something like that. But even if I do say that, you'll go ahead and do it anyway... I want you to feel better, but you're not following mine or your own advice, so there's nothing much I or anyone can say. Link to comment
allsunny Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 You can grief at your own pace. You're going to go through a roller coaster of emotions, and sometimes the best advice will sound silly. That's okay. It will take time, before you start to take control of your misery and start moving forward. Eventually, you'll know what to do, when you're ready to move on to the next phase of healing. Link to comment
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