pitfall or progress ?

[jakel]

Hi I am 7 months BU and around 50 days NC out of a very intense relationship. I don't pine away for her and I see how in a lot of ways we were incompatible. But at times I still feel hurt as hell and sad about the way it went down.

 

During the BU my friends have been very supportive and have shared a lot of exp with me. One of these female friends and I have began in the last month to express attraction towards one another. We have gone out a few times and had a blast. She is presently out of town (her dad died a week ago) but we talk for hours everyday. I have known her for years and have had ideas here and there but neither one us has been single until now.

 

She has been in a relationship for the last 6 years that by all appearances looked like hell. He cheated on she found out,(I happen to Know he continued to cheat on her). They fought like cats and dogs broke up got back together x 1000. She has expressed she felt as if she was trapped in a nightmare.

 

This time its been a month and a half BU for them. She is coming back in a couple of days and we have a date for dinner and breakfast upon her return.

 

Her ex is someone I have known for years and will be encountering frequently. I'm awake to the fact this could just be a fling, or a rebound, that the two of them may reconcile although she swears up and down there done. We have both expressed a desire not to have what we have had before in relationships and have talked about taking it slow. Honestly I'm not complaining that she wants to sleep over but I have a little fear of what the aftermath is going to be.

[ferna3069]

this sounds like a recipe for disaster.she gos back and fourth to him. it would be better to give it atleast three month. because both of you need to move on

[jakel]

Tnx ferna I'm so tired of moping around feeling sorry for myself I guess as insane as it sounds I have hope that a consensual fling might snap me out of it. There has been a fair amount of communication and I think we are both on the same page. Unless "I don't know if I want to be in anything right now, but I like you and lets have sex" is code for " after we have sex he will want to be in a LTR with me"?

[Ms Darcy]

A consensual fling won't snap you out of anything. Only you can change your mind and your experience. I'd leave this timebomb alone.

[jakel]

Ahh! Oh no.... I think I really like this girl though!! what am I doing????

[Ms Darcy]

Letting yourself get crazy over someone who is going to use you as a rebound. Start looking at other young ladies!

[jakel]

whew! Didn't happen a whole lot of communication occurred instead thanks for the advice