Time to Get Up off Your Toosh! What are You Doing to Look and Feel Fantastic??

[Silverbirch]

Chit, I didn't think of that - it's an all female class and I'm straight as far as I know!

[Silverbirch]

Just been invited to go to the local country pub to listen to some live music. Spiffed myself up, and I didn't scrub up too bad. I actually feel exited! First time I've apart been out since the b/u - apart from just spending time with friends. If this is okay, I think I will do it more often.

[DennisK]

Glad you're getting back on your feet and taking care of yourself Silver.

 

When my first long term relationship broke up, in my early 20's I took it really hard and decided to hit the gym at Uni which was something I never did before. When I first started I could barely benchpress 40kg and I was pretty skinny.

 

I worked at it all of the time through Uni and by the time I graduated I could lift 80kg and I looked great - lean with good muscle mass. My confidence was really boosted and it showed in my general demeanour and attitude to life. I've kept up with my fitness since then, but really laxed off the weights in the past couple of years when I've been with my fiance as just haven't had the time or motivation. We've been on our break now for nearly a month and the stress has cost me a few kilos of muscle mass which really annoys me. So I've bought some weight gain formula with the intention of hitting the gym hard again.

 

It will take my mind off things for a bit and boost my confidence which has taken a real battering. I'm almost glad that my fiance hasn't contacted me wanting to talk this weekend, as the weight loss is quite noticeable according to some people at work.

[nukemdukem]

i've been working out at the gym and running outside, i've lost weight and toned up. i look much better. I'm also going on a weekend course about attracting women with conversation and positivety. The only sad thing i keep thinking is my ex will never see the "new" me.

[nukemdukem]

but also BIG HUGS silverbirch

[Bcom]

Thank you Silverbirch!

[Silverbirch]

Hey, it's so good to hear about you all taking care of yourselves.

 

I am so glad I went out tonight. I would say I had a nice time - not a fantastic time - but a nice time, not stuck at home thinking about the ex. I have things planned for tomorrow too, and I'm looking forward to that.

[Silverbirch]

I have been inviting people over and visiting friends, and I have invited a friend to stay. I live in a rural area, but work on the outskirts of a large city (an hours drive away each day). Friend sounds excited - we are going to go to the renowned very arty and trendy country markets, and then the pub for dinner and live music. I'm sure planning weekends is the way to go.

[Dryyoureyes]

I am going out heaps. Far too much actually. Got to know a lot of new people/girls. Some interested as well I would say. Helps a lot. I as well started again going back to more sports. Going for runs twice a week, plus I ride to Uni by bike and I go rock climbing every now and then. Sums up to 80km of bike rides, 20km running plus 1-2 hrs climbing every week. Oh and I am about to change my nutrition as well and stop smoking. Try to go more to the healthy side after treating my body pretty bad with too many nights clubbing and too many drinks during the nights out.

[Silverbirch]

Hey you rock Dryoureyes!!

 

I started taking multi-vitamin tablets today. I've also started a collection of some very, very stunning jewellry and have updated my make-up. Today I bought a pair of sexy short boots to wear with jeans. The heel is a little larger than I normally get, but they feel so good!

[TiredOfGames]

I've been trying to plan my days more, which I've never done in the past (not much of a planner; more just get up and go!). Went to a couple of wine tastings last Friday night and met up with people I know (not close friends mind, but I did get to meet some new people too). Planned a bike route and cycled that on Sunday. I've been cycling outside three times a week in addition to my gym workouts. Joined a cycling meetup group too and we have a ride planned this coming Saturday! I've been taking myself out to dinner here and there also, by myself, with something good to read. I have to say, a table for one is actually quite invigorating! I've been doing this at least once a week and on two occasions I've sparked up conversation with the table next to me (but not in an obtrusive way; the same way one would backpacking by themselves). I have a bike ride planned for tonight with a friend, and a blind-date for drinks tomorrow evening which is a little scary (hmm, haven't done the blind date thing in years!).

[Silverbirch]

Well Good Luck with the blind date TiredofGames. You must be superfit!

[TiredOfGames]

[...] Today I bought a pair of sexy short boots to wear with jeans. The heel is a little larger than I normally get, but they feel so good!

 

Haha, so not just a new pair of boots, but a pair of sexy short boots! Love it! Good for you!

 

Well Good Luck with the blind date TiredofGames. You must be superfit!

 

Thanks Silverbirch! I feel like I'm going in double blindfolded, my first post-breakup date and a blind date at that. She sounds nice enough and with similar interests, so we'll see. I haven't heard anything on her boot situation yet though.

[Silverbirch]

Hi TiredofGames, yes I really want to get some bits and pieces that are sexy without being skanky. I'm starting to look a bit more like myself now. Face was such a mess from the crying, anxiety, lack of sleep and food, but I'm slowly getting there. Bit disappointed I can't get to my dance group this morning as I have to go to training for work today. Never mind, I get to go to the city which can be quite invigorating.

 

Oh something else making me feel a whole heap better - I am saying no to work. I have been on official sick leave for last 2 days, and they still ring me at home. First time, I told her I was on leave, and turned out she knew. After that, I just didn't answer my phone. If they were paying me a HEAP of money, might be different,, but they are not. I'm in a field where there is a high burn out rate, and I'm not going to let that happen to me although it almost did earlier in the year.

[TiredOfGames]

Haha, sexy without being skanky! The sexy without the skanky is always a good thing! It's funny... I'm from England but I've been in the USA for a few years, and there are certain words I rarely if ever hear nowadays, and you good Aussie folk use many of the same words/slang as us Brits. I don't get home that often so it's been nice to come accross some of that here on ena.

 

Saying no to work is a great policy to have, more so nowadays with the communication and connectivity we have outside of the office. This is even more important when dealing with personal relationship and health issues too, and I think you handled your approach well so good for you Silver.

 

I'm also using your approach to my work life which is affording more time and energy for looking after myself both physically and mentally. I've been buying some new clothes too, both casual and dress/business wear. The upside to this and the increased physical activity is that my ex gets to see it all too (we work together). Too bad she treated me poorly and then broke up with me. Her loss!

[Dryyoureyes]

thank you silverbirch. day1 of nonsmoking, i don't count the NC days anymore (something like 30). Instead I will be counting the smokefree days since those only have to do with myself. I already feel better after the first day and I am back to under 45 min for a 9km run. In a month I bump the distance back up to my old 13 km. Still working on getting a bit more strength for rockclimbing. Boy, I will be * * * * ing sexy in 3 months time

[Silverbirch]

Oh you are going to be sexy alright Dryoureyes!!!Congratulations on the nonsmoking too!

 

Well, I had to go into the city to work today, and I went into a major department store to buy some eye make-up. I bought quite a bit of make-up while I was interstate, and have changed my look a bit. I've decided that I'm changing the way I make up my eyes so I "lashed out" so to speak. Anyway, I really surprised myself. I knew exactly what I wanted, and asked the young woman if she would mind putting it on me - eye shadows and pencil eyeliner (only on lid not under it). I chose the colors. Anyway, I'm sitting there on the stool after she has put it on, and the telephone rings so she goes to answer it. I pick up the makeup myself and put the final touches on, and . . . I did it well. Even the beautician said I did a good job! Normally, when I go into a department store and catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I don't like what I see - I feel like something is always not right. Well, this morning before I left home, I had put just a little time into doing my make-up (which is meant to be a very natural look), and when I saw myself in the department store mirror at 4pm, it still looked as good as when I put it on. There is a little secret, I have just started using primer for the first time and an age-defying liquid make-up followed by a bronzer.

 

Also, on the weekend, I bought this necklace I just love and wore it today. It's gold (not real gold) and it sort of looks like something an Aztec Goddess would wear! LOL It seems to lighten up my face, makes such a difference, and I've had lots of compliments about it. I wore my new sexy boots too, and I felt a lot more confident today.

 

Well, I know I haven't spoken about it much, but I'm going to be working on improving my job performance which has been okay anyway. I've only been in the job for 6 months, and just feel like I'm settling in. There is a high burnout rate, and my ex used my job and the fact I was burning out as one of the excuses for the break-up. Even when I have had days off sick (as well as days off), I get calls at home from work, sometimes asking me to go in. That job was taking such a toll on me, and I've been resentful about the impact on the relationship although if my ex had loved me enough, he would have stood by me, not used it as another excuse. Well, I've been saying no to some things at work, and I told them I need to work my hours around some of my interests, ie exercise and dance classes so that I can actually have a life and not burn out. That was actually very well received as the management have had so many concerns about the burnout and keeping staff. It's been good going to this training. I go back tomorrow, and I'm going to apply for as much training as I can do comfortably. It's also a good way to meet other people in the organisation, and very enjoyable.

 

Well, something else to report, but I think I should write another thread on it . . . . I think I may have been asked out by a man . . .??????

[TiredOfGames]

I stopped biting my nails. A bad childhood habit that I've struggled to overcome my entire adult life, but with the stresses of my last relationship I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. I'm hoping I can keep it up this time!

[Silverbirch]

Good on you TOG. My younger sister used to be a shocker for that when she was a kid, she bit them right down.

[rkw]

I love this thread, it's very inspiring and motivational. Here's what I've been up to:

 

I already eat quite well (but I do need to do some more exercise), but I've really made an effort in the 5 weeks since the breakup to improve my life. I've started restoring an old piece of furniture, I just enrolled for a TAFE course today to enhance my degree, I'm teaching myself to cook, got myself a new job which I think I'll enjoy much more than my current one. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get a good fulltime job next year and learn to horseride, something I've always wanted to do but my family couldn't afford when I was little.

 

And shopping! I've spent a little too much on new clothes, but they've given me so much confidence. I'm like you Silverbirch, I like looking well presented. If I know I look good, I feel like I can do anything. I even bought sexy-not-skanky (love this!) new undies for myself! I used to just buy sexy stuff for the benefit of my ex, but now I feel like it doesn't matter if no one sees them, as long as I like to wear them. I'm getting braces on in a few days, which at 22 is slightly embarrassing, but it means I'll have great teeth this time next year. And I had a haircut on Tuesday. I'm also going to save up a little every week and buy myself a little gold chain necklace too, since I've never bought proper jewellery for myself.

 

I still miss him a lot, like once when I was sanding a set of drawers and sobbing. But my confidence and self-esteem is much better now than it was during the last months of our relationship. I always imagined a life without him as desolate and lonely. Proving to myself that my life can be ok, even great without him has done wonders for my confidence. Being alone at the moment is good, but I look forward to the day when I can enter a relationship even better than I was before. It's sounds so corny (I'm trying not to gag), but I always felt like a girl when I was him. Now I'm actually starting to feel like a grown-up woman, which is a bit strange but nice at the same time.

[Silverbirch]

Hugs rkw. WWhoa, you're doing great! Sounds like you and I both like a lot of those girly things like the clothes and jewellry. Yes, I would like to be able to spend time horse riding. I've got my little ponies, but they are not for adult riding, but maybe further down the track, could get an additional horse especially to be riden by me. Not impossible.

[Silverbirch]

A lady at work gave me these beautiful crystal earrings last night. She buys a lot of jewellry from Hong Kong over the net. It's a much cheaper way to do it. Her friendship has come to mean so much to me. With my ex being out of my life, I am so much more available for friendships with other people, especially female friends, and that definitely helps make me feel good. This lady is around my age, great company, and she's been in a similar place herself. We going to do the coffee and shopping thing too. She's also an animal lover like myself with her own mini zoo.

[nsomnia912]

I'm working to gain 20 lbs of solidity!

Reading books

Making plans to move

Hanging up my drinking shoes...going to aa meetings

Quit smoking

Learning to stop being codependant

Meeting new people

Meeting, flirting and having more relationships with new women.

Reinventing myself

Buying new clothes...life of mobey to spend on myself now.

Changing all the things that were bad habits, that my ex hated!

Positive change for me but the added bonus is I can do them all out spite!!!

[Silverbirch]

Good on you nsomnia!

[rkw]

Silverbirch, thanks so much for your kind words. I'm a bit jealous that you have little ponies, up the road from me are agistment centres and I always slow a little to look at all the ponies and horses as I drive past! And making new friends is always fun. I've found myself becoming closer to a couple of friends since the breakup, which has been really nice.

 

Nsomnia, good on you for being able to identify the things you'd like to change about yourself. I think just admitting things you don't like about yourself is half the battle (like I sometimes shut-down rather than speak about problems, which I'm trying to solve now).