am i a bad person?

[ferna3069]

my ex broke up with me two months ago. well when the break up happened she was talking about been uncomfterable in her own skin. and been scared of the world. as a kid she was abused. so i thought i triggerd something in her mind. when this happened we where just cuddling. i thought it was time her mom knew because i did not want to leave her like that. her mom wouldnt know what was wrong. and she would of also thought i hurt her.i wasnt trying to play hero or anything. but later her mom called and told me how bad of a person i was. and told me this

 

 

 

 

 

well last time my ex girlfriends friend and i talked. she told me that my ex told her i wasnt always nice. and told her about me telling my ex the if you love me part. her friend told me that. she told my ex that she was the only one i had. and i just wanted to go for a walk. and her mom was in the background telling her not to make excuses for me.by the way im 21 and my ex is 23.

 

its been two months since the break up and i been feeling like its still my fault. my ex did talk to me after the break up. she got mad when i told her i wasnt sure if we can be freinds. and when i delterd her of facebook. so i told her to give it a monthso everything can cool down.well 22 days later i text her she gives me one word answers and when i ask her if she still wants to be friends she doesnt text back. so after that i started feeling like im a bad person. like i mest up so bad. its been botheting me so bad i send her an apology email. i dont expect her to contact me. but i just wanted to say sorry

[Tryptophan]

STOP CONTACTING HER! You won't heal or stop feeling bad if you keep contacting her. They always try to make you feel like it's your fault and you're caving in. Stop. Stop. Stop. Give yourself time to heal or you'll keep e-mailing her, feeling guilty, bargaining, and whatnot. Go 3 months, or 6 months without talking to her and you probably won't even have anything to say to her so anything you say during this vulnerable period is irrelevant. Stay strong and stop hurting yourself.

 

You're not a bad person. She has her own issues to deal with. I was also abused as a child and I cannot go around life rationalizing my own bad behavior by blaming it on that. She like I, has to outgrow the abuse, and become a survivor and stop letting the victimizer STILL affect her life.

[ferna3069]

I cannot go around life rationalizing my own bad behavior by blaming it on that. She like I, has to outgrow the abuse, and become a survivor and stop letting the victimizer STILL affect her life.

 

what does that mean?

[Capricorn3]

Only you know your own truth. No-one here will ever know if you're a "bad" person or not, as no-one here will ever hear ALL the truth. Ever. Only YOU know what you really did, and if it was bad, then you take responsibility for your actions. Take ownership.