Im just so mad..

[Trancefan]

I'm so angry.

 

I feel like my brother gets to do things that effect me and not my parents but when he does something that effects my parents he has to stop. I'm tired of having to petition them for months to get them to punish my brother.

 

For maybe a year or so he was on his laptop past eight ( a violation of my parents rules ) for maybe 6 days a month id bring it up for a year. He would be told only after several complaints to be quite. THE RULE IS NO COMPUTER PAST EIGHT. I would wake up and ask him to stop night after night. Only recently after screaming at my mother did she agree to make him get off it at nine. The rule was eight what the * * * * is this.He talks on the damn phone as well. She doesn't even take it up a majority of the nights. I still tell her and nothing.

 

He started to play piano. Keep in mind our rooms are next to each other. It was a digital piano and it would keep me up as well. They didn't enforce the rule of him not playing past a certain time until one night my father woke up. For 7 months I complained about the noise to both my mother and father. I would cry and have hour long conversations. They would end with he plays the piano you just have to deal with it.

He got a baby grand piano. They bought him a $12,000 piano. Its so loud I can hear it any where in the house even with doors shut and the music/tv on. So loud i dont want to leave the rooms with closed doors. I hear it everywhere louder then i would listen to my own music. If im watching tv and if he wants to watch it he will play the piano and Its so loud i want to leave and then do. Then he gets on the television. Only after 2 months of talking to my parents is he made to shut the doors in the piano room ( my complaints of the sound is with the doors shut in his room as well. ).

 

I just don't know what to do. Here's what seems to happen in terms of complaints and then rules being set up against him.

 

I mention it once i passing. I mention it again this time during conversation. I mention some where between a third and fifth time with a specific discussion just for it. The last resort , when the change occurs , I have to cry. If the crying doesn't work i have to berate my mother or father. Only then are rules put in place. Rules which aren't enforced consistently.

 

I've brought this all up to her. I'd like to point out i was calm and didn't blame her even tho i wanted to scream with frustration. I asked her what can i do to communicate better and the only the thing she said was "is your right I don't listen to you well enough and ill try to get better". Its been maybe 2 months since then and nothing has changed. I've communicated with her the fact he keeps taking the computer past nine and she says ill make sure to take it up tonight. He continues to play the piano with the doors open.

 

Only after so long do things change. My brother will whistle sometimes and i cant tell him to stop but if my father or mother are doing something and they want him to it happens right away.

 

I feel like they don't listen to me and I'm doing everything right. I'm not treated fairly. It takes month for change. I still am woken up by him in the night. Keep in mind I have a fan a very large fan and yet can still here him sometimes and am woken up. What do you suggest I do to communicate with my parents better? I mean i don't know what else is available. I try to communicate with my brother but he rarely stops what hes doing and usually mocks me.

[FathomFear]

I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but you're 18 years old. I find it a little odd that you're breaking down into crying fits and trying to enforce very unusual house rules (no computer past 8pm?). The things that are bothering you are extrodinarily trivial things compared to what you'll be dealing with over the next 4-5 years, as presumably you'll be dealing with higher education and the workplace. I mean, for example, my first year on residence at university I was surrounded by guys who would play loud music well past midnight. You just need to get used to what the world throws at you.

[catfeeder]

I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but you're 18 years old. I find it a little odd that you're breaking down into crying fits and trying to enforce very unusual house rules (no computer past 8pm?). The things that are bothering you are extrodinarily trivial things compared to what you'll be dealing with over the next 4-5 years, as presumably you'll be dealing with higher education and the workplace. I mean, for example, my first year on residence at university I was surrounded by guys who would play loud music well past midnight. You just need to get used to what the world throws at you.

 

I agree. Consider this your training for becoming good roommate material. Temper tantrums don't work on anyone but your parents, and apparently not so much on them, either. If you snitch on people in college, you'll gain a campus-wide rep for being poison that will follow you through the next 4 years and make your life a worse hell than learning how to put up and shut up.

 

Your parents aren't doing you any favors by not teaching you that you have zero control over anyone else, including them. I'd buy some earplugs, headphones and an eye mask--and meditate. Or, I'd move out.

[Trancefan]

Okay thanks everyone.

[catfeeder]

Okay thanks everyone.

 

I know these are hard pills to swallow, but thank you for being gracious about what you didn't want to hear.

 

You can do this.

[John Cage]

You are 18?

 

The following is supposed to be tough-love, so I hope you take it well.

 

Stop. Acting. Spoiled.

 

You are not God, you don't control what others do. If I was your brother I would shut my door and say "Don't come in."

 

Yes, the noise does affect you, but the KING/QUEEN of the Domain does not agree with your whining. That means it's time to suck it up and toughen up. "Not fair" is the typical cry of a 12 year old; not a fully grown adult woman. Life is not fair; if life was fair, I won't want to live in it.

 

If noise and "fairness" is your greatest concept at the age of 18, that you really have nothing much to worry about, do you?

 

I think it would benefit you greatly to learn how to interact with a "neutral" world around you. I define "neutral" world as a world where people don't in particularly like/dislike you. If John Doe the roommate want to play his music, who are you to him that he would stop simply because you wanted him to? You can politely ask for something that you want in a "friendly" world; but in a "neutral" world, you got to FIGHT for it. By that, I don't mean pick up a baseball bat... I mean use real world methods. If I want someone I know to shut up and get out, I will use the tested and true methods of THREATS, COERCION, BRIBERY, TEMPTATION, TRICKERY... etc... etc...

 

This sense of entitlement (aka, I am entitled to have my wishes granted) sickens me. Do the Russian cry that it's not fair when the Germans invaded? No they just started shooting back.