Don't know how to feel

[notgivingup]

First of all, I would like to announce to everyone that I have been able to get through 31 days of NC with R (my most recent boyfriend), which I am so happy about and proud of myself for. Second of all, my mom was been a this morning. She was telling me that she is not satisfied with the job that I have because it doesn't make nearly as much as she wants me to make and she was not satisfied with the job title or position, which is an intervention specialist substitute. I love my job, yes it is challenging but rewarding as well. I am happy with this job and have been doing a good job so far. This is my third week working actually. She makes it look like it is an embarassment to have a daughter, a college graduate, have a job like an intervention specialist. It's like she wanted and expected me to get a job, and now that I did, she is still not satisfied with it. It's like she is having unrealistic expectations of me, she is letting all of her frustrations out on me, and she is trying to live her life through me or something, ai yah. Now I know that she is my mom, that she loves and cares about me and I should show her some compassion, but that is easier said than done sigh. Third of all, I have also met a guy online through okcupid. He is 30 years old and we seem to get along great, through emailing, through texting and through talking on the phone. I do not know if I should be wary of a guy that age meeting someone online, whether he is already taken (have a girlfriend or have already been married), or I should just go along with the flow and see how this turns out. We are just friends right now. We have been emailing each other on okcupid for the past two months or so (a little over two months), has just recently (since Monday) been texting each other, has just started talking on the phone with each other (since Tuesday). My mentor made me conscious of that fact. We have not really discussed our past experiences dating, past relationships and whatnot, so I do not know the exact reason why he is still single and even if he is or not. I don't know. There has been enough talk about people lying to you online and all that. Right now, I see him as just a friend and I do not plan to get into a relationship anytime soon, knowing that I am not ready for another relationship just yet. I have made him aware of that fact as well. My main goal in life right now is to focus on me, myself and I. I WANT and NEED to focus on my work, my career, my life in general. I have a lot of work that I have to do on myself before I can actually BE ready to be in another relationship.

 

What do you guys think of my situation? Any comments, opinions, suggestions and advice are very much welcomed and appreciated. Feel fee to comment, thanks.

[sidehop]

I'm assuming you live with your mom? Is it possible to move soon so you can have more independence and make decisions without feeling like she's hounding you? I don't completely blame her, she is your mother after all. But you're probably right on track with the relationship situation.