I have hope..

[velvette]

hm... hard to say. all I can say is that I put my boyfriend in the same situation your boyfriend is putting YOU through right now. I gave him the whole "can't date you now, maybe in a couple years when I'm ready". but really I was just unsure about dating HIM, felt like I could do better, keeping my options open. YES I didn't have anyone else in mind at the time, and if I HAD to marry someone I would've married him! it all boiled down to my slight allergy to commitment, and wanting to keep my options open. in a few years, once I'd seen all that's out there, sure, MAYBE he'd still be my first pick. but in my heart, truth be told, I was hoping someone better (I don't know what defines better, but someone who made my heart more sure) would come along!

 

however, in the end, we've gotten together and have been together for 5 rather happy years so far. I changed my mind and asked him out, and here we are today. but in all honesty, he should've left and stopped waiting. I wasn't being fair to him, or even honest with myself. I thought we were such a ~unique case~ too, but seriously it's quite easy to categorize once you get past it all. there's only so many outcomes, after all.

 

maybe he would change his mind, and come for you once he decides, like I did for my bf. but, if I was in your position (or, had the situation with my bf been the other way around), I wouldn't hang on to the hope. and ACTUALLY, now that I think about it, it was only when my bf appeared to have given up hope that I panicked about losing him and asked him out. had he always hung around with that ~I'll wait forever attitude~, taking my noncommittal emotional abuse, I'm not sure what would've happened. surely I wouldn't have respected him.

[cosmokohn55]

Wow ,that has really helped. Its nice to read about the dumpers point of view. thanks so much